Tag Archives: #SuzanneKelman

…Oh, for Pod’s sake!… yeez wanna listen to this!…

chip

…down the years there have been frequent raisings-of-assorted-eyebrows at my mangled diction of English… for a starter, coming from Dockside Govan in Glasgow gave me a definite leg-up in the incomprehensible vernacular stakes… when I eventually turned up in London as a Trainee Financial Master of the Universe, I was compelled to slow down my speech delivery, and asked to enunciate more clearly the Queen’s spoken English (coming from ‘Laahndeners’ in the capital, I found that a bit rich, frankly)… the tongue-twisting continued apace as different countries in the Far East and now in the Middle East found me contorting their local languages… comes now a new spin… my first ever sojourn into Podcasting… that’s stuff on the Internet, Mabel, where yeez have real-live conversation with people across the globe through the wonder of the web… my terrific pals, m’Lady, K.J.Waters and m’Lady, Suzanne Kelman, both currently living in ‘Merika, run their Blondie and the Brit podcasts from there… this ol’ Jurassic had the delight of being one of their victims… I mean, being one of their guests… the resultant recording is ‘clickable’ here, http://blondieandbrit.podbean.com/  and on iTunes here, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blondie-and-the-brit/id1042661151?mt=2 …this is where the sound of English I make departs once more from the accepted norm… in truth, the dulcet modulations from the tongues of the esteeemed ladies is mellifluous in the extreme, but with the vagaries of intercontinental elink transmissions, my voice delivery sounds like a Scottish chipmunk… pleasing, I’m sure to those aficionados of Disney cartoon classics… have a wee listen and see what yeez think… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

 

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…Authors… there’s a WURLD of difference between writing humorous books and writing humour in yer books…

…of all the JONGGRs available to the reading public, I remain in complete awe of those scribblers who write humour… Authoress pals such as Heather Hillheather and SuzanneSuzanne Kelman… it demands an ability not only to be funny, but also to have that special skill needed to infuse wit into yer masterpieces… and all on a constant, page after page manner… Suzanne tells me the art is in keeping a rhythm to the writing… of course, many of yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land who are part of the writers family will have occasion to have flashes of humour in yer own stuff… generally in the dialogue between/amongst yer characters, more as throwaway lines than lengthy passages of script… and that’s perfectly acceptable… but trying to be funny in a book that’s essentially a hard-boiled crime, or action, or historic, or romantic WURK is likely to be unsuccessful… some do have the knack of knowing where to insert humour in the omnipresent voice in the course of the story-telling… one such gifted proponent of that is my friend, Carol J. Hedges, carolwhose magnificent Victorian-era crime series contains unexpected flashes of oblique humour, which heighten greatly the pleasure in reading her narratives… switching to shorter bits of authorship such as blogs and articles, then it’s more appropriate to dress yer WURDS in humour if that’s yer intent… however, merely telling jokes should be left to the television or music-hall comedians… they do it for a living… and they’ll be the first to tell you how difficult it is to be constantly funny… if needs must, disguise yer punchlines in stories themselves, not jokes… there’s a separate skill set in that ‘business of raconteurship’… the finest of these in my lifetime include the late Peter Ustinov and currently, my own special God of Humour, Billy Connolly… keep smiling… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…laugh?… I nearly passed m’Blog ‘round… three ‘P’s in a Podcast…

…the current allegedly accepted wisdom for all writers these days, whether or not yeez are self-publishing or ‘publishing-housed’ is to be present on the SOSYAL NETWURKS… that translates into WURKING yer sox off to be ‘noticed’… to be ‘available’ to yer publics… to balance yer scribbling, yer Twitter-twaddlings, yer Facebook-facadings, yer Google-Gogglings, yer LinkedIn-loopings, yer Pocket-Participations, yer Pinterest-Pinnings… oh, and a bit of author-y stuff as well… and, on the outside chance yeez might have time left for family and friends (not bluudy likely) that would be helpful, too… but, thankfully, nowhere in the instructions does it indicate that yeez have to be proficient in any of them… just as well… ‘coz I’m the oldest self-professed computer thing-y Jurassic on the planet… if I switch the Mac on and it lights up, I do a lap of honour…

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…consider this now, yesterday my wee grey cells were asked to boldly go where these wee grey cells had never gone before… to be a participant in a Podcast… let’s be clear on this… before yesterday, I thought a ‘Podcast’ was a list of the names of the whales that appeared in the Free Willy movie… along come the two main ‘P’s in the scheme… ‘P’ standing in their case for ‘Professionals’… the delightful m’Ladies and fellow quill-scrapers, K.J. Waters and Suzanne Kelmansuzanne

KJ

the two purveyors of the regular Podcast, dubbed ‘Blondie and the Brit’…the third ‘P’ was yours truly, in this case the ‘P’ standing for ‘Perhaps-yeez-have-the-wrong-guy-here’… ’twas to be an easy enuff undertaking, said K.J… piece of cake, said K.J... even a dumb Scotsman’ll manage it, said K.J… aye, right… first of all, we tried Skype, which three-year-old toddlers can understand… that didn’t wanna play… then we had a go via FaceTimeit promptly joined its pal, Skype on the idle pile… no worries… fresh from that success, we transferred to Google Chat… another dismal no-show… I’ve a feeling it might have been my aftershave… or sum’thing I said… or maybe I should pay my Internet bill… by this time we had a three-way intermittent voice link, me in Bahrain, Suzanne in Seattle, and K.J in Dirtville (her description, not mine!)… suffice to say, what was left of my wee grey cells all got up and went out to lunch… sum’how or other, the magnificent duo in ‘Merika still captured the Podcast in all its marvellous sound-quality magnificence… I’m reliably informed that the FBI, NASA and the Society for the Protection of Internet Users will permit the broadcast to be aired in September… have a listen when it does come out… the squeaky voice at the end of the tannoy is Master Gallacher… I’m now open to guest spots on The Muppet Show... see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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