…there are wheel biters and road racers… F1 aficionados and stock car racing enthusiasts… folks whose day brightens up by the sound of an engine revving… I’m not one of them… indeed, as far back as more than forty years ago I successfully failed my sole attempt at an official DRIVING TEST in the UK… there was also a highly unflattering ‘incident’ of which I hasten to say I’m not proud, when yours truly, in possession of a Provisional Driving License (for learners, of course) was involved in one of the original ‘road rage’ episodes versus some other driver who unwittingly took his life in his hands by doing sum’thing rather stupid to me in the car I was then driving…
…the resultant metallic confrontation and ‘causing of supreme prejudicial assault on the other driver’s vehicle’ ended with a less than spiritually-uplifting court appearance and the recommendation from the magistrate that Master Gallacher should consider ‘never getting behind the wheel of a car again’, a view to which Master Gallacher fully subscribed… I was reminded of this earlier today when I was asked to be featured in a local publication’s piece on ‘what wheels I prefer and why’… my response mentioned NUTHIN about the ‘road rage’ contrepemps, but I felt obliged to repeat my dear Mama’s view that her favourite son was born to ’travel in the rear of limousines, the front of civil aircraft, and to ’test-drive’ five-star hotels and bordellos, and not necessarily in that order’.. over the past several decades, I’ve endeavoured to keep assiduously to dear Mama’s guidelines… therefore, to satisfy the request from the local publication’ s editor, and not to deviate from Mama’s ethos, as a back-seat driver only, my choice of wheels, unsurprisingly, is a 1930s version of the Rolls Royce…
…the attached photograph captures perfectly the elegance and élan of a sophisticated back-seat driver… special seating to be reserved for any and all Mama persons who align with this road travel philosophy… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…
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