Tag Archives: #AilsaAbraham

The Return of the Jurassic

…m’Lady, Ailsa Abraham kindly invited me over to her Bingergread House… despite that totally misunderstood incident the last time with the sausages… a note from my trick-cyclist smoothed THAT one over quite nicely…


The Bingergread Cottage

aaaaComing back for what is becoming his annual visit, is Seumas Gallacher. In case you missed last year’s chat you can read it here

I hope you found the magic warmth cloak I put on the carpet or you’d have frozen to death. Welcome, Seumas. Lovely to have you back. Get you into the kitchen and keep cozy. No, Cameron isn’t here, so don’t jump like that when the door opens.

Now keep us up to date on your books – how many now? How are they doing?

Well, like that Ol’ Man River, they just keep rollin’ along – five Jack Calder Crime thrillers already on Auntie Amazon, and the sixth, NO IMPUNITY, is a WURK-in-Progress, albeit in-Progress at its own good speed… I continually say I’m happy to see even one single sale from time to time for any of my wee literary babies, but recently, a really…

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The Independent Mr. Gallacher.

…my dear friend, m’Lady, Ailsa Abraham, invites me into The Bingergread Cottage for a cuppa …

The Bingergread Cottage

Don’t look up everyone as the passenger on the magic carpet today is Seumas Gallacher and he might be wearing a kilt. Cameron! Eyes down please!

Here you are, Big Man! How lovely to see you. You’ll feel the cold here coming from your warmer climes. Come on into the kitchen and sit by the stove with us while we get you a hot drink with a wee something in it.-em me 14  So how are things?

SG : …hello, Ailsa.. and nice to see you again, Cameron… I checked with Glockamorra prior to jumping on the Magic Carpet you so kindly sent to fetch me, and Things are Just Tickety-Boo… nice threads on there by the way… did you crochet that one yerself, m’Lady?

Oh yes! It was meant to be a dog blanket but now I can’t get Cam to take it off. I know everyone is asking this of…

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…Laydeees an’ Gennnllllmen! …the irrepressible, the inimitable… Ailsa Abraham…


Yeez a Head-case!

Hello Big-Man, Hello Big-Man’s Friends.

The above comment has been thrown at me a few times and any Scots in the audience will know it well.

In fact, I am. Brain trauma from the age of fifteen has left me “punchy” but it has a new and fancy name that I’d like to share with you all – punch-drunk has been found to be much more widespread than we thought and more serious.

Given that serious knocks on the head, concussion etc are no longer limited to professional boxers, some bright doctor chap decided to have a closer look. As we all take up extreme sports (bevvying, motorcycle gymnastics and tripping off pavements to mention only a few) they are getting a much better chance to look at this phenomenenenononon (it’s like banana, isn’t’ it?) Unfortunately it can only be confirmed post-mortem, which means I won’t be able to sit up on the table and shout “Told you so!!”

Nor does this knowledge do much in a practical way for me. I’m recovering from at least the third whopping great bonk on the head although this time I didn’t fracture anything, I exploded my spleen and hitched a ride to hospital in a helicopter instead which seemed just as good as blog material. So my own doctor who is a real sweetheart says I can expect to be “wobbly” for one week for each day I was in a coma. OK, so more than twenty one weeks later I am still having “brain not connected to any extremity” moments and find myself fighting with the furniture and no, I gave up alcohol ages ago so it isn’t that! (Yes it was my first thought too)

Mostly this relieves me. I am an impatient old biddy and want to get on with my work, writing. Unfortunately this involves cranking up the rusty metal object that used to be my brain. I’ll get there. I’ll probably get there a lot faster by telling myself that this is quite normal and at least I have a name for it. Already having Bipolar Condition which makes me sounds like an unsure Polar Bear, I can add “oh and CTE, of course” then try to remember what that stands for – I must print out th banner below to pin on my wall. That’s it! That’s why I can’t work right. We’ll get there slowly and with me losing my temper at myself and everyone around me but… hey I’m a writer – ain’t supposed to be normal!

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy

Thanks for having me over – if you want to see some of my works – see here….

Author of “Alchemy” and “Shaman’s Drum”
alchemyalchemy 2

(Ed. Note: check out particularly the webpage link for Ailsa’s novels… great reading!)

International Amazon links Alchemy Shaman’s Drum as Cameron Lawton


..there yeez go, betcha that got more than just a smile on yer faces! … thanks, m’Lady, Ailsa...

—-see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!




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What do you call a tartan cat?

…m’Lady, Authoress and bonne femme en France, Ailsa Abraham carries this wee blether piece today …enjoy …:)


The Bingergread Cottage

Sometimes one strikes up friendships on-line and even though you never meet each other, it is a case of “real pals”. Such a man is Seumas Gallacher who, in deference to his Weegie start and my own family’s connections with the city, I usually refer to as “Big Man”.
I have been very remiss recently and did not welcome him to the family of Crooked Cat Publishing when he joined. I’m putting that right today by inviting him over from far-flung lands to chat about this decision and show off his wares … drop the kilt-hem, Seumas, I meant your books!
Welcome, welcome, dear man, both to the scruffy kitchen and to the Cat Basket. Let me ask you some impertinent questions while you help yourself to a drink.Seumas
SG : Question away, m’Lady… it’s a pleasure as ever to be here with you.
I’m published by the…

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…Written Acts of Kindness Award… my pal Authoress, Ailsa Abraham…


…it’s amazing how the paths of people yeez have never even met can cross on the virtual channels, and it seems as if yeez have been kindred spirits all yer lives… such is the focus of my Written Acts of Kindness Award today… the indomitable knitter of woollie jerseys for penguins… the erstwhile motorbike acrobat… the doyen-ess of all things strangely British in the middle of her adopted domicile in France… and the quite proper champion of wildlife protection everywhere.. my fellow Crooked Cat Publishing cattery mate, Ailsa Abraham...

Digital Camera

…her tireless support of many of we quill-scrapers is legend, with her open-house blog at the Bingergread House the source of much fun and fellowship… so, put yer paws and flippers together, and welcome m’Lady, Ailsa ;

book 1book 2

yeez can also connect with m’Lady here : http://ailsaabraham.com

…Ailsa, the rules for passing this Award on are very simple:

  1. You are welcome to give it out as many times as you like, but it is only to be given to a maximum of one person per blog post. If you wish to give multiple rewards, please space the blog posts so the sincerity is maintained.
  2. Introduce the person; say how they encourage, help or inspire you; then link to their work and/or social media profiles. There may be a specific post you wish to link to which helped you. It’s up to you.
  3. Please publicise your award post to Twitter or Google Plus using the hashtag #writtenkindness so that others can find and follow the award winners.

This award is open to anyone to use. You don’t have to receive it, in order to be able to give it. Once you have received it, it isn’t obligatory that you must pass it on.

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



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…stark, raving sane!… that Lady, Authoress pal, Ailsa Abraham tickles me again…

…when yeez wonder if the ‘glass is half-empty, or half-full’… m’Lady, Authoress Ailsa Abraham will prob’ly tell yeez, ‘yer glass is just too feckin’ big!’… this ol’ Jurassic has an instant affinity for those ‘Speshhull People’ who confound the universe when it contrives to pelt yeez with disaster, calamity, or just downright p*ssing bad luck, by raising the inverted Churchillian two-fingered salute to it, and grinning all the way… such is my pal, the Lady Acrobat On-And-Sometimes-Off-Up-And-Over-Yer-Motorbike… let her bring a smile to yer face by reading her offering here in today’s Guest Post piece:


pirate me

Anus Horribilus

No, that is not a mis-spelling, for me it has been an “erse” of a year.

When some bones were removed from my foot, I was only worried about recovering within the promised six weeks. I hadn’t anticipated my beloved GP, in a fit of enthusiasm, tweaking and re-breaking it. Nice one, Doc and no, “Ooops!” doesn’t cover it. Six months later I was still on crutches and in a pirate boot.

Leaving out normal day-to-day frustrations, I then did a marvellously athletic “dismount” from my motorbike (double somersault with pike) which landed me in a coma for a couple of weeks. I could cope with the injuries but being tied to the bed (and not in an exciting way) was an indignity too far. As I said at the time, who knows what a spleen does, or would miss it anyhow?

Getting as far as mid-November, I thought I was going to get away with it. I was wrong. We visited the local cop-shop to give a statement about the incident where a group of  young traveller women offered us violence in a supermarket car-park. According to CCTV, we were technically in the wrong so our fingerprints, DNA and mug-shots were taken.

Great! Now a criminal, too!

The one saving grace is that I had already decided that, my two series finished, I was going to start writing my comical memoirs. Nearly a quarter of a century in France was surely enough for at least one volume.

The fixed grin is there because, whatever happens, I can say to myself “Just more material, kiddo, more for the next series.” Yes, it has all been noted, watch out for Volume One in 2015.

Thanks so much for inviting me over, Seumas, always a pleasure to come visiting.


Ailsa Abraham retired early from a string of jobs, ending up with teaching English to adults. She has lived in France since 1990 and is married with no children but six grandchildren. She copes with Bipolar Condition, a twisted spine and increasing deafness with her usual wry humour – “well if I didn’t have all those, I’d have to work for a living, instead of writing, which is much more fun.” Her ambition in life is to keep breathing and possibly move back to the UK. She has no intention of stopping writing.

WORK As Ailsa Abraham :

Alchemy and Shaman’s Drum published by Crooked Cat Publishing



Four Go Mad in Catalonia – self-published, available from Smashwords

Twitter – @ailsaabraham

Facebook – Ailsa Abraham

Amazon Author Page

Web page

As Cameron Lawton

…well, Lads and Lassies of Blog Land, it’s always a joy to have repeat visitors, and yeez can understand why Ailsa Abraham’s seat in my writing den is always ready for her! … see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…



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…my incomparable Author compadress, Ailsa Abraham, adorns my blog today…enjoy…

…there’s sum’thing compellingly attractive about a Literary Lady of *cough* *a-hem* vintage who attempts manoeuvres a la Cirque de Soleil… on a motorbike!… triple somersaults from two-wheeled transport at speed without a safety net tends to cause, at a minimum, a slight dent in one’s personal immediate diary schedule… m’Lady Ailsa Abraham visited her local hospital in France where she currently resides, but without an appointment, and, more to the point, without her conscious awareness… it appears, pro tem, that a mild slowing-down of m’Lady’s activities has taken place as a direct consequence of her imitation of the Human Cannonball stunts… I for one, would not bet a single sou against m’Lady’s enforced leisure being reversed in early course… be that as it may, I’m honoured to have Author, Ailsa Abraham pen a few bon mots for our quill-scraping perusal… enjoy…


Reb 2 - Copy
My serials’ killers.

Many thanks to my dear friend Seumas for inviting me to scribble a little something for the blog. Obviously I turned for my inspiration to his latest publication   Self-Publishing Steps To Successful Sales.

At the moment I’m not self-published but don’t take that as cast in stone. The sales problem faces all of us. One of the vital things is productivity. Now I sound like I’m equating the author with a story-factory. Well, yes, in a way we have to be. If readers like our stuff, they will want more and if none is available they will go elsewhere. Rather like your local store not stocking your favourite brand any more.

So one of the most glaring answers is “I know! I’ll write a serial.”

There are advantages to this. Mostly they will fit into a convenient niche or genre and some time is saved by establishing the basics in the first novel. Main characters, locations, jobs will be familiar to the readers by Book Two. Apart from development, there is nothing to do but tell the story. That is what we are supposed to be good at.


Great – let me at it.

Except that “being organized” is vital. Having enough time and a tidy mind help enormously. Oops! I screwed up on that by writing Book Two first. I didn’t mean it to happen but readers clamoured for more and wanted the back-story, so Book One got written pretty quickly. Yay! Characters were popular with readers, they wanted more, so all that remained was to keep up my sales of the existing books while writing Book Three. Previously I had started with a real quick-read and had to produce a full-length in double-fast time, so another Book Three was needed in another series!

This is where Fate stepped in and shoved a few sticks in my wheels. In the last year I have managed to be severely injured twice and an operation which I was assured would put me out of action for six weeks, ended up being six months.

If I had been writing stand-alone books, I could perhaps have completed one but noooooooooooooooo. I was writing two series because that was the accepted wisdom. That meant that I needed to link back to the previous stories, remember my characters’ particularities and generally make it gel. Having had a stroke this proved awkward.

Both Book Threes are now back in production and I have had many ideas of other, stand-alone books which will be my next WIPs when I get through.




Ailsa Abraham is published by Crooked Cat Publishing under her own name and as Cameron Lawton (who masquerades as her twin brother) by MLRPress. You can find her books on Amazon 

She has lived in France since 1990 and retired from teaching English to adults due to ill health.  An animal-rights activist and shaman, she enjoys knitting, cooking and until recently motorcycles.

Her web page is here and she can be found on FB and Twitter too. Please get in touch, she loves chatting and has a group on FB – Ailsa and Friends.


…many thanks for these wisdoms of pearl, Ailsa… up and at ‘em, m’girl!… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…




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