…wanna rent space on my elbow?

…epiphanies, by their very definition, appear as sudden revelations or insights… one such has startled my wee grey cells this morning… that once in a lifetime ‘Eureka!’ moment has dawned on me… how to make my instant fortune… all around me, I see professional people disguised as walking billboards… switch on yer television to any sports channel… cricketers, footballers, motor racing drivers, golfers, snooker players, all-sorts-of-sporties… all of them camouflaged as advertisements for products and services as diverse as toothpaste, holiday cruises, betting companies, and even good ol’ meat pies… now, Master Gallacher does have a day job, other than the scribbler’s grail… I’m involved in the corporate WURLD, where I do mundane things like saving companies from bankruptcy through my amazing (but humble) talent for corporate restructuring and ‘turnarounds’, sum’times engaged as a guru on executive coaching and management training… boring?…yes… but, here’s the catch… in all of that activity, people have their eyes on me… comes now the brainwave… transform myself into a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of selling space!… if yer Lewis Hamiltons, Cristiano Ronaldos, Joe Roots and Rory McIlroys can do it, why not we glorious iconic office ‘9 till 5ers’?... just think, Mabel… the power of exposure of ‘RENT-A-PENCIL COMPANY’ emblazoned on my shirt pocket… ‘FAX MACHINES R US’ peeking from the bottom of my sleeve… ‘EXECUTIVE STENCIL SERVICES’ embroidered on the a*se of my trousers… and the genius piece of all, a removable daily sticker plastered on my forehead with ‘GALLACHER’S CORPORATE PROGRAMS’… they couldn’t miss that, now could they?… I shall now sit quietly Β by the telephone with my coffee and a nice wee digestive biscuit waiting for the calls to come flooding in… but yeez’ll have to be quick before all my corporeal space is reserved… wanna rent my elbow?… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

20 responses to “…wanna rent space on my elbow?

  1. rohini99

    My thoughts exactly! Which is one reason why I refuse to wear name brand stuff marked excessively high because they have the blinking logo slapped all over it! No sireee. You want me to flaunt your logo, you pay me! Until then I shall hunt for discreet but delightful items that don’t have a logo in sight!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Best idea ever. Don’t forget to have embroidered images of your book covers front and center!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t forget to make the ads in English AND Arabic, Seumas (and register yoursel’ as a mobile billboard to get the tax breaks πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I’m a bit concerned about the thought of being given your elbow, Seumas…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Rent-a-pencil!
    Perfect idea…(I think I’ll start an embroidery company catering to the new author/9-5 market…hmmmm)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great idea, Seumas. Get a bunch of shirts printed up for yourself. You could even use the back pages of your books to give info on your services. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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