Monthly Archives: March 2016

…to free or not to free?… that is the question… self-publishers hearken hither…

…it seems so long ago, now… but a matter of only 7 years ago, Master Gallacher threw sensibility to the winds and dived headlong into the self-publishing caper… the majority of that time has been spent enjoyably immersed in all the trimmings of being my own literary publishing Baron (Barren? Barn?)… a twelve-month body-serve/detour as a ‘housed’ author terminated amicably at the turn of the year when myself and the good folks at Crooked Cat Publishing came to terms with the fact that I needed to at least believe I was in control of my own destiny in the industry… delusions of adequacy p’raps, but my continuing  sojourn on the marketing and promotional platforms gives me grounds to believe that, going solo, I fare better than average in that respect… whatever the truth of it, the pleasure I derive from being uber-hands-on is monumental… in the year of the partnership, I did not indulge any dalliance with the Kindle Free Promo mechanism, which I had used several times in the nascent scribbler years… many authors refuse to consider that route, believing they should ‘never give their WURK away for NUTHIN,’ and I have no argument with their stance…chacun a son gout (that’s Francais, Mabel, for ‘each to his own gout)… however, I can only describe my modus, and what has WURKED, and WURKS, for me… my experience is enhanced with having the luxury of four titles in the marketplace, all available on the Great God Amazon Kindle, and a fifth as Work-In-Progress… it’s important to understand, that with a range of titles, the technique alters sum’what… with only one book out there, giving away free downloads usually is done in the hope of generating interest and reviews for that solitary masterpiece… but, see, when yeez have multiple offerings in the guise of a backlist, only one title needs to be the ‘teaser’ while the remainder sit sweetly  at their normal prices… the freebies on Kindle are virtual copies which have cost me minimal monetary outlay (of course, I value my priceless labour and mind investment in each book I create, but relatively speaking a freebie only costs me notional lost opportunity profit, which in all likelihood was never coming to me as sold copies anyway, BUT, it generates sales on others, and THAT does put coppers in the coffers)… with that in mind, I’m putting the third in the Jack Calder thriller series, SAVAGE PAYBACK, on Amazon Free Promotion as of tomorrow, March 31st, for the five-day period permitted

…the wee darling looks like this:

front view SP

..and yeez can download it FREE tomorrow thus:

myBook.to/savagepayback

…here’s what it looks like mingled in the family photo with the rest of the gang:

FotoJet Collage

 

…and these others can be purloined thus:

THE VIOLIN MANS LEGACY

myBook.to/theviolinmanslegacy

VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK

myBook.to/vengeancewearsblack

KILLER CITY

myBook.to/calderkillercity

 

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

 

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…self-publishing Authors… which of many hats today?…

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…a cluster of recent blogs have discussed the mantle of being a self-publisher and the whole razzamatazz associated with that sum’time scary occupation… there’s a list as long as a Las Vegas Casino stretch limousine of roles the self-publishing scribbler has to adopt… variously, these roles include writer (oh, yes–that too!), proofreader, editor, art work director, Kindle formatter, marketing guru, sales pitch person, SOSYAL MEDYA organiser… and yeez can add the support staff functions of tea maker, biscuit provider, Muse-minder, arbiter-of-squabbling-characters-in-yer-masterpieces, (yes, Mabel, they are real in yer head, believe me, and sum’times they need putting in their places)… but let me switch yeez back to the original hyphenated two-part description… SELF-PUBLISHER‘SELF’… yup… solo, lone, singleton, nob’dy-else-but-yerself, on-yer-own’sum, hermit-in-the-virtual-candlelit-attic person… being yer own boss is a two-edged sword… great when it’s going well, but if the wheels fall off there’s only one name on the blame sheet… that proverbial ol’ long distance runner had no idea of what that kinda loneliness really means… however, take a closer look at the second element, ‘PUBLISHER’... a title formerly exclusively held by the good and the great names such as Penguin, Collins, Harlequin, Random House, Oxford University Publishing… now with the Great God Amazon Kindle and its industry siblings, all that has changed… nowadays the main office of thousands of PUBLISHERS is in their own front rooms, writing dens and even Starbuxx forecourts…

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…y’see, in my head the idea of having a publishing house looking after my future Nobel Literature Prize-winning babies conjures up visions of the PUBLISHER getting my books into the mitts of every reader on the planet… negotiating front shelf space in Waterstones… and interviews with such as Richard and Judy or Oprah… the reality is that that range of PUBLISHER service impacts about 0.00000374 % of all novelists… ergo, SELF-PUBLISHER has it all over PUBLISHER any day of the week… so, p’raps these days when folks ask me ‘what do you do?’, instead of staying ‘I’m an Author’, I think I’ll try a few ‘I’m a publisher’ throwaways… see yeez later… got to get back to my publishing… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…giggle-maker supreme… my great honour to feature Authoress, Suzanne Kelman…

…nob’dy ever claims that writing in any kinda JONGRR is easy, but in my not-so-‘umble opinion, producing comedy in print ranks among the toughest… my great pal, Authoress, Suzanne Kelman has that magic brain-tickling touch… her gem, THE REJECTED WRITERS’ BOOK CLUB, relaunching March 29th, is one such sampler of her WURK

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Amazon http://amzn.to/1UgOHBQ

…but m’Lady can speak for herself… enjoy…

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Suzanne Kelman

Make ‘em Laff – Free-falling into Laughter

How to write funny is no laughing matter. I write comedy and I personally don’t know of the perfect equation to create spontaneous howls. You know, something like a snigger plus a chuckle equals a guffaw or anything like that. Now there are many books out there that claim to help people write hilarious stuff, but the ones I have read, I found drier than an Amish man’s liquor cabinet. What I can do is give you some insight into how I write.

First, I can’t force it. Forcing is like forcing someone to love you. Before you know it you’re boiling their bunny. The more obsessive you become over the comedy, the harder it becomes to work. This is not good. I met a very straight laced, old school teacher type once, who looked me dead in the eye over her half moon glasses as she handed me her manuscript and said in one long monotone, “I can write funny.” I hadn’t the heart to tell her SHE was funny, her saying it that way WAS Funny, but alas, after reading it, her writing wasn’t.

You see, she approached it in a very rigid and controlled way. She read a bunch of books, commanded all her words to sit up straight in their chairs and line up quietly all in very grammatically correct order. Then she slaved over the perfectly crafted punchline, but it fell flat.

Comedy for me isn’t like that. It’s like a form of free falling. I jump in naked. I run with the wild bulls of the adjectives. I dance with my hair on fire. If you could see the first drafts of my posts it would look something like this:

“Mi furst draughts our perfext“

It’s just a raucous can-can with the dancing red squiggly lines and me.

I just have fun with the words. We hang out together like two old friends laughing at the bar. I type something funny and then I answer myself in a kind of schizophrenic double act. So my first advice is, free fall, and don’t edit.

Second thing I do is look for visual extremes to take along on my word journey, such as “run naked,” or “hair on fire.” The funnier you can make the visual for the reader, the more fun they’re going to have reading it. Comedy should leap off the page. For example, if you’re going to jump into water, dive from a great height into a tin bucket. If someone is pulling a face, tell me she looks like she was chewing a bumblebee. You can always pull back if your editor rolls their grammatical eyes. You can tell they are doing that when they send you back little bubbles in the track change function accompanied by the tut-tut-tut of the three question mark disapproval,??? This is editor talk for: “What the hell is that?”

Sometimes, a few of mine have slipped through. Here is one from my book:

“Doris, a rather rotund woman, was squished into the booth like a tube of toothpaste, just waiting for someone to take off her cap so she could spray the walls.”

Lastly, because I can’t think of any more, I allow my mind to go on a constant Mardi Gras. Enjoy everything around me, especially characters that I meet. I’m always eavesdropping other peoples conversations too. Firstly, because it’s fun, but mostly because I often hear nuggets that will take my mind into a million comical directions. Like the result of someone shouting “FIRE!” At a clown convention. Did I tell you I like writing in extreme visuals?

When the right juicy overheard nugget is mined it can hit you in the face like a wet kipper, and it can happen just like the 80’s martini commercial, “Anytime, any place, and anywhere.” Once I was reading my way through food labels in the supermarket, thinking about having Mexican food for dinner, when I suddenly overheard a snippet of a conversation that went something like this:

“So if only she chopped all that wood, they would still be together today.” That was all it took. What wood? Why was she chopping? Why was it so pivotal in their relationship? That’s when I was struck with an idea. A brilliant, non-stick, sparkly, voluptuous idea. And, as is so often the case for me, a comedic idea. My shopping basket was tossed asunder, as I made my way hastily out of the store saying under my breath, “Out of my way, pregnant writer coming through.”

I raced to my car holding that fiery idea ahead of me like a flaming torch, hoping to not lose a fragment of it before I got home to type it onto my computer.

So, there you are, read from the back of a postage stamp, is my process. If you want to make them laugh, I encourage you to find your own voice in it. Because at the end of the day, you should enjoy it because after all it’s comedy and if you meet the tut-tut-tut of the bubble of doom, at least you had a blast of a time while you were free-falling.

Suzanne Kelman is and an award-winning screenwriter and playwright and the author of “The Rejected Writers’ Book Club,” being released March 29th. Her accolades include The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences – Nicholl Fellowship Finalist, Best Comedy Feature Script – L.A. International Film Festival and Gold Award Winner – California Film Awards. 

…thanks gazillions, Suzanne… Lads and Lassies of Blog Land, yeez can linkup with Her Ladyship thus:

 

Website http://www.suzannekelmanauthor.com 

IMDB http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5882992/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Blog http://www.whidbeylifemagazine.org/suzanne-kelman/

Twitter http://twitter.com/@goody2prod

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Goody-2-Productions

Linked in http://www.linkedin.com/pub/suzanne-kelman/32/23a/860

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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What The Killers Really Want

What The Killers Really Want

 

As horrendous killing rears its head once more,

In an airport, a Metro, a city.

Humanity’s appalled, traumatised to its core.

We wring our hands in rage, in shock, in pity.

 

One more time, one more day, one more outrage.

In wordless astonishment, unspeakable atrocity.

No warning, no alarm, no clearing of the stage,

The terror deepened by its chilled rapidity.

 

Anger boils, resentment grows, revenge an easy mauling,

Hear the range of easy vengeance targets rise,

Innocent believers of a different calling,

What the killers want—all Muslims blamed in many eyes.

 

I have no easy answer, salve or cure

For the evil guised in ISIL’s name,

But of one thing certain I am sure,

NOT EVERY MUSLIM IS TO BLAME.

 

Seumas Gallacher

March 22nd, 2016

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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To Self-Publish or Try the Publishing Option? That is the Question…

…this is an absolute MUST READ for ALL scribblers ..thanks to all concerned in writing, guesting, rebloggings on this one …great post ! 🙂

Word Craft ~ Prose and Poetry

Image Credit: Randomhousebooks.com/hydra

Last week I came across an article about Hydra, a digital-first imprint of Random House. Here is the link to read the article. Hydra is reported as presenting the next generation of science fiction, fantasy, and horror who says: “Every title is available for purchase at major e-retailers and compatible with all reading devices.”

The interesting thing was, the article opened up a dialog about the options writers have in releasing their books to the public. It then becomes all about traditional publishing and independent publishing. Trying to figure out what is best for you is sometimes hard.

I am lucky to have built up a friendship with Lyz Russo, an accomplished author and the owner of an Indy Publishing company called P’kaboo Publishers. As a novice author, writing my first novel, I wanted to hear what choices I had available to me. There are…

View original post 2,478 more words

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Win a print copy of a Seumas Gallacher novel!

…fabulous pal Authoress, Susan Toy, has a wee gift (p’raps) waiting for yeez:

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…Authors… who says yeez cannae teach an ol’ Jurassic scribbler new tricks?…

…there’s an inexplicable amount of inner giggling I refuse to suppress every time I learn some new thingy-me-jig on the Web… I’ve discovered… well, more like stumbled over, sum’thing called Quick Time Player… it’s basically a simple app for recording yerself on yer laptop… the ultimate in moving selfies, I s’pose… I doubt if it’s gonna cause young Brad Pitt and that nice wee man, Benedictine Cummerbund much concern (by the way,  whoever thought of naming an actor after a monkish sect and an evening-wear waist sash?), but I can assure yeez doing yer own wee home movie is about as much fun as yeez’ll get with yer clothes on… I did one yesterday as a kinda tongue-in-cheek promotional splash for my crime thrillers and threw it up on to Facebook… and behold and lo!… instant positive responses galore… much fun and merriment from assorted pals… and, here’s the thing… sales!  immediate sales!… expect to see next year’s Oscar statuettes being handed out to Seumas Studios (Govan) in crateloads… the blockbuster is shown on my Facebook page (difficult to upload to here)… get yer ice creams and popcorn in and settle in to have a look:

https://www.facebook.com/seumasgallacher

…see yeez later …LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…Authoress, C.M.Stibbe… a sparkling Guest …and a new book launch in the offing…

…it’s common knowledge that I’m blessed with countless great scribbler pals through the graces of Uncle Internet… many of these splendid Authors have produced books which compelled me to offer Amazon page reviews on their WURKS… my Guest today, Authoress, Claire Stibbe’s first novel in the Detective Temeke series, The 9th Hour, won this review from me last December, 2015:

December 2015… superb psychological thriller
9thkindlerevised FINAL
…set in New Mexico, The 9th Hour is a superbly written thriller… from the opening passages, Detective David Temeke and his female partner, Detective Malin Santiago, are faced with a Norwegian serial killer who is is at once intelligent and twisted… the intricacies of the murderer’s driven mindset, steeped in Norse mythology, beautifully counterpoints the equally determined Temeke in his pursuit of the killer… the tension is palpable, and ratchets up chapter by chapter… the overlay of the desperate attempt by the father of one of the victims to cope with the death of his daughter is delicately woven throughout the narrative… the dialogue is handled well, with short bursts of irreverent humour from Temeke, heightening the horrors of the macabre killings, almost Hitchcock-like… a must read for thriller fans…

 

…originally from England, Claire lived in Hong Kong for three years before eventually finding a second home in New Mexico, USA. Her genres include Historical Fiction, Psychological Thriller, Mystery and Suspense…
she has just completed a psychological thriller, The 9th Hour, the first in the Detective Temeke series set in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and published by Noble Lizard Publishing…

…the second of her Temeke series, Night Eyes, is being launched in a coupla weeks… but enuff of my babbling on about her… let the good Lady, Claire speak for herself:

cla

CLAIRE STIBBE 

For me, the best part of writing is the process. Researching ideas for the first novel in the Detective Temeke series has been so much fun, especially driving around Albuquerque through all the areas David Temeke and his partner, Malin Santiago regularly frequent.

This first book takes place in Cimarron State Park where a nine-year-old African American girl has been abducted. Temeke, a detective working for violent crimes against children is called out one early December morning to take over a case nobody wants. Why? Because former lead Detective Jack Reynolds was found dead under the bridge on Exit 230 to San Mateo. He had a gunshot wound to his head. With a new partner, a new case and a new set of wheels, Temeke takes to the roads in search of a man who keeps the body parts of his eight young victims as trophies and has a worrying obsession with the number nine.

With so many state parks here in New Mexico, the hiking trails are numerous and great places to learn about the history of the southwest. Big blue skies, palisade cliffs and all kinds of fauna only add to each scene. With the help of detectives in the local police department, this has been crucial in piecing together a serial killer’s steps.

The weather has been particularly stormy recently, slate-grey skies, a sheet of rain one minute and the growl of thunder the next, which has provided the right mood to give me inspiration. I’m loving the characters and the way they lead each chapter to who knows where. And yes, I do normally have a structure, only this time it all went out of the window.

It’s Temeke’s fault. His dry wit often goes for the jugular, rubbing the department up the wrong way. Unit Commander Hackett is clearly suspicious of Temeke, an African/British ex-pat, and has reluctantly assigned him a new east coast transfer, Malin Santiago. It’s a high profile case where her Hispanic/Norwegian roots are a valuable asset to the team. Can’t say why. You’ll just have to read the book. Only, Temeke believes that Santiago lacks the necessary experience for such a case which is adding a considerable strain to their professional relationship. Not to mention her physical attraction to him which is about as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.

So this afternoon as I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop, I was this close to writing Santiago a great scene that would change Temeke’s view of her; maybe give him something to chew over. But being despicable me, I decided to leave it as it is. Unrequited love in the Northwest Area Command is so much fun to watch. And Malin isn’t all smiles and teeth. There’s a certain metal in her psyche that gets stronger with every book. She might have started out as a pit-dweller, but she’s sure making up for it now.

Winter’s coming . . .

All this and more in The 9th Hour.

Claire once ran a newspaper for two local business in Albuquerque and has also written short stories for Breakwater Harbor Books, a publisher of anthologies. The collection won Best Anthology of 2014 in the Independent Book Awards hosted by eFestival of Words.

nightNight Eyes, the second in the Temeke Crime Series will be published March 25, 2016 and the third, The Wishmaker, will be released in July 2016. This series explores how even in the darkness of criminal depravity the light of faith is never entirely extinguished.

Other novels: She has written two historical fiction novels, Chasing Pharaohs and The Fowler’s Snare, both set in ancient Egypt during the 18th Dynasty and published by KWS Publishing.

To find out more about Claire’s books, visit her website here

Also by Claire Stibbe

For updates on new books, book signings and regular blog features, why not sign up for her occasional newsletter here

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 Claire is also a member of the Alliance of Independent Authors, New Mexico Book Co-op and the Southwest Writers Association.

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…Authoress Angela Wren… the allure of France and Claude Monet…

…an undisguisedly entrenched Francophile and devotee of all things Monet, my Guest Post today comes from dear Authoress friend,  Angela Wren, and offers more than a whiff of insight as to how this attraction has become part of her psyche… as an ol’ Jurassic who has never before owned a camera, I particularly applaud her passage about drinking in the sight of the great artist’s WURK sans lens photographie… enjoy:

 

AEWBlackWhite

In Monet’s Footsteps

I’m often asked about my interest in, and fascination with France and the conversation will range through, what has now become fairly familiar territory – the country, the history, the culture and, at some point, the art and my favourite period, the Impressionists. So, it was with great pleasure, some six years ago, that I did not rail against being required in Paris. Someone has to take the pain of being away from home in one of the most beautiful cities in the world! I used this particular opportunity to stay on the outskirts of the city so that I could visit Giverny, the long-time family home of the Hoschedé-Monet family, and subsequently the home of Claude Monet, his wife and children.

RiverSeineatLesAndelysI deliberately planned my trip to Giverny for a Friday afternoon and I made sure I arrived at lunchtime, when all the French would be absent. Despite my strategy to miss the locals, which I did, I hadn’t reckoned on the vast numbers of American and Japanese tourists. So, when I did eventually get access to the famous chocolate-box pink house with green shutters, I found myself on the impressionist version of a trip to Ikea. The body of tourists, moving from room to room, were sandwiched together like a pack of Jack Russell terriers moving in uncharacteristic slow motion accompanied by the constant click of cameras. I decided on an anarchical approach and I broke out and moved around the edges of each room, only joining the throng to pass through doors or up and down narrow stairs.

And, as I wandered through the colours of the house, the sunshine yellow of the dining room, the cool blue and white of the kitchen sharpened by the copper pans, I was very much aware that Monet must have spent almost a lifetime doing the same. The panelled Salon Bleu with its white furniture accented with wedgewood blue led into the much larger combined studio and sitting room. The place where Monet spent many years painting.

As I entered this room my attention was caught immediately by a single picture. The walls of the room were covered almost floor to ceiling with paintings, but I saw only the one. A small canvas, about three feet by two, buried in a sea of blues covered by water lilies.

The Strollers ‘The Strollers’ shows a man and woman walking away from the viewer.  He is wearing a suit and she a late nineteenth century white dress with dark green decoration. I knew instantly that they had just married. They are walking from the shade into the light and the darkness of the shady foliage is echoed in the decoration of the dress. As the viewer, I could not see her face and could only partially see his because of the pose, but I recognised the happiness in the colours and their future together. I had to stand there for some moments to fully take in the meaning of the picture and having done so I was instantly determined to find a copy, a print or something so that I could continue to look at that picture every day.

In the remaining rooms I made a point of standing at the windows. Monet was a great gardener, setting the planting and often buying seeds, bulbs and plants himself. At each window I was able to see the garden as he would have seen it. Of course he had the advantage in that he could see his garden through every season of the year, whereas I was limited to my one visit on a hot afternoon in early September. Nevertheless, the movement of colour through the spectrum, spread across the different beds and the Clos Normande seemed to echo the serenity of the house.

GivernyIn the second garden – separated by a road from the main property and garden – I was able to walk through the bamboo and wisteria that surrounded the lily ponds and it was here that, yet again, I came up against the craze for photographs. As I waited patiently, an American tourist moved this way and that to get her shots. Then she stepped forward so that I could move past her. I shook my head. She assumed I wanted to photograph the same spot. I held up my empty hands.

‘No camera! In this beautiful place?’ There was a look of incredulity on her face. I shrugged and after a few more shots she moved on and I took her place on the bridge, breathed in the scent and gazed at the scene, knowing full well that Monet would have stood in that exact spot at some point in his life.

I don’t know what that American tourist would have told her family and friends when she got back to the states. But when I talk about my visit to Giverny, I know that I can honestly say that I have stood where Monet once stood. And I happen to think that’s awesome, and you can’t photograph that!

Author Bio

Having followed a career in Project and Business Change Management, Angela now works as an Actor and Director at a local theatre. She’s been writing, in a serious way, since 2010. her work in project management has always involved drafting, so writing, in its various forms, has been a significant feature throughout her adult life.

Angela particularly enjoys the challenge of plotting and planning different genres of work. Her short stories vary between contemporary romance, memoir, mystery and historical. She also writes comic flash-fiction and has drafted two one-act plays that have been recorded for local radio. The majority of Angela’s stories are set in France where she like to spend as much time as possible each year.

NOVEL BLURB

 

 

Sacrificing his job in investigation following an incident in Paris, Jacques Forêt has only a matter of weeks to solve a series of mysterious disappearances as a Gendarme in the rural French village of Messandrierre.

But, as the number of missing persons rises, his difficult and hectoring boss puts obstacles in his way. Steely and determined, Jacques won’t give up and, when a new Investigating Magistrate is appointed, he becomes the go-to local policeman for all the work on the case.

Will he find the perpetrators before his lover, Beth, becomes a victim?

Messandrierre – the first in a new crime series featuring investigator, Jacques Forêt.

CoverArt

 

Amazon UK

Amazon US

Smashwords

Website : www.angelawren.co.uk

Blog : www.jamesetmoi.blogspot.com

Facebook : Angela Wren

Goodreads : Angela Wren

…fascinating stuff, m’Lady, Angela… thanks for sharing…

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…WANTED… slightly used International Publisher…

…these flyers are being pinned up on telegraph posts and the sides of litter bins all over the neighbourhood… if yeez want any to stick onto empty walls near where yeez all live, just give me a holler… ye’re welcome…

WANTEDPOSTER

 

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THE VIOLIN MANS LEGACY

myBook.to/theviolinmanslegacy

VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK

myBook.to/vengeancewearsblack

SAVAGE PAYBACK

myBook.to/savagepayback

KILLER CITY

myBook.to/calderkillercity

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE OR RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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