Monthly Archives: January 2016

…Sean (Connery) Connery versus Seumas (Icon-nery?) Gallacher…

…comparisons are often said to be ‘odious’, but on occasion they can be frighteningly revealing… if yeez just have a wee peek at the table below, some mind-boggling juxtapositioning is startling… that Other Wannabe Scottish man of the arts, Sir Sean Connery, compares surprisingly well with Master Gallacher... the parallels are quite outstanding… judge for yerselves:

conkilt 2










                                            Sean Connery              Seumas (Icon-nery?)

Scottish Birthplace            Edinburgh                         Glasgow

Other Family tree roots    Irish                                    Irish

Age                                          Above 35                          Above 35

First Film  (1957)                 ‘No Road Back’              ‘Holiday snaps’

Mother’s religion                   Protestant                       Protestant

Father’s religion                    Roman Catholic              Roman Catholic

Nickname as a youth             ‘Big Tam’                         ‘Wee Jimmy’

First job                                  Milkman                            Newspaper boy

Sterling Earnings                 100,000,000                      100

Played pro soccer with         East Fife                             Third Lanark

Kilt tartan                              MacLean (Duart)             Anderson (Govan)

Knighted                                July 2000                           Any day now





Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…my Author pal, Dave Robertson gives yeez a wee snippet of wisdom here…

…Dave Robertson, the bloke behind the website is first up to the oche with the opening Guest Blog Post of the season… enjoy:



Once upon a time – back in the days before the world wide whatnot – when I had a proper job, I was an engineer.
‘Oh really,’ I hear you cry, ‘what did you engineer?’
Well that’s not going to be the point of today’s lesson, so let’s for the sake of simplicity just reply to that question – ‘widgets.’
Yes, widgets.
 Of all shapes and sizes.
 And as a widget engineer I was privileged to receive, once a month, a copy of Widget Engineering News. In fact anybody who was anybody, and even me, in the field of widget engineering was on the mailing list of this  erstwhile publication. Which was great. It told us all there was to know about engineering widgets.
 Except, we already knew about such things because we engineered widgets every sodding day! Day in, day out!
 Let me tell you that widget engineering was not the glamorous occupation it was cracked up to be!
Meanwhile the people who really needed to know about widgets and where to put them – in the politest possible sense – were not within this elite publishers circle and therefore remained blissfully ignorant of the benefits that a widget might bring to their product.
As a result the widget manufacturing industry in this country contracted, amalgamated and was eventually sold off lock, stock and barrels full of widgets to the Chinese who made them much cheaper; although of dubious quality.
Widget Engineering News could not handle a change of this magnitude – it did not have the financial clout to invest in a Mandarin font – and so de-commissioned its presses soon after.
And so to my point – you just knew that we’d get there eventually, didn’t you – I’m now trying to write. Keep your eyes on there’ll be a kids book along shortly. Actually, I’ve just finished the second – I sort of got the writing bug. Isn’t it always the way – you wait forever for one and then two come along together!
As a prelude to this event (I was going to say notable event, but you might not agree!) I’ve joined a couple of writers groups. We read bits of our work to each other and congratulate each other on our wit and originality.
I also signed up to ‘wanna be a writer‘ on Facetubebook, as well as some similar sites. So I’m now posting my work to other writers!
  Now I’m not doubting that writers do read, but, am I in danger of following the Widget Engineering News‘s business model?
Or, is there somewhere that I can showcase my undoubted literary talent to people that actually read rather than to writers who are doing exactly the same thing that I am?
Just wondering!
Sorry? – Oh, the name of the kids book. It’s working title is:-


Or however they pronounce it in Beijing!​

…cheeers, for that, Dave… see yeez later …LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…once more unto the self-publishing breach, dear friends…


…as I’ve indicated elsewhere this week, the grand folks at Crooked Cat Publishing and this ol’ Scots Jurassic scribbler have agreed amicably that Master Gallacher is essentially a root and branch self-publishing man… ergo (there’s that fancy WURD for ‘therefore’ again, Mabel)… ergo, I’m reverting to that status with immediate effect, if not sooner… there’s no more sinister reason for my going back to being solo than I really have missed the ‘control’ element that an Author necessarily surrenders when engaging with a publishing house… I regard the past year as a learning curve, or p’raps more correctly, a ‘reinforcing curve’ that I’m best suited to the total immersion that being a self-publisher truly means… unless you are already receiving huge royalty cheques in the name of Lee Child or that wee Rowling lassie, there’s always going to be a swither in yer  head about going ‘housed’ or remaining ‘par seul’… of course, it’s time consuming, but even with a  publisher, any modern quill-scraper should expect to be involved in the lion’s share of the necessary promotional activity, which includes turning up and being present on the SOSYAL NETWURKS… this Mac-tapper happens to rejoice in being plugged into the fabulous global writers diaspora, with over 25,000 connections in the ‘business of writing’—readers, other authors, editors, bloggers and the like… I can understand for some that’s a drag, but for this Author, I’m LUVVIN IT!… another wee ‘plus’ is being able to allow myself to be hypnotised with tracking my wee crime thriller babies’ sales on a daily basis… addicted?… who? MOI?… never!‘control’ issue again, right there… so gallop on I shall… laptop to the left of me, compoooter to the right of me, …once more unto the self-publishing breach, dear friends… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…how yeez doin’, Sunshine?…

…it’s hard not to notice with the turn of the year has come the ubiquitous Awards Season…the Golden Globes, The Oscars et al… a coupla years ago around this time, my blogger pal, the good Lord David Prosser, directed  the ‘Sunshine Award’ my way, which ain’t gonna affect Messrs Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford and their ilk, but it’s a good enuff opening for me to regurgitate the ‘fun’ bit of the Sunshine Award, which was to reveal (taaaaarrraaaa!!) ten things that even I had forgotten I knew about me… enjoy :


1…. as a part-time semi-pro footballer in the Southern Amateur League in London ahem-years ago (I suppose I was a full-time pro Trainee Financial Master of the Universe at the same time) my position of Centre-Forward Motormouth propelled me to the top of the league’s scoring charts three years in succession, accompanied, it must be said, by the equivalent three years as top of the red-card-early-bath-dismissals charts, being possessed of that familiar Scottish footballer inclination to retaliate first on the football field…

2… around the same era in the early seventies, I went straight from playing in a football match in North London to a Saturday night party, with my used kit in a carry sports-bag, and a pal in tow… in these days, I was partial to the intake of much strong waters, a practice I ceased more than thirty years ago… my next recollection of that rather ‘liquid’  party was waking up on the following Sunday afternoon in a hotel room in Ostend, Belgium with no idea how I got there… a live body rustled next to me, and a not unattractive female appeared from under the covers… neither my LUVLY companion nor Master Gallacher had a morsel of recollection of how we had met at the party, gone home to get our respective passports and taken the ferry across the Channel… to my great shame, I can’t even recollect the name of the bonnie lassie, and I’m sure she won’t recall mine… I’ll blame the hangovers we each had…

3… I’m the WURLD‘s most incompetent user of laptop and computer gadgetry… I used to be second worst, pipped by a bloke in Timbuktu, but I heard he spontaneously combusted along with his Mac the other day, so I’m now officially the WURLD‘s worst… and yet… and yet… somehow, the Internet Gods have let me accrue over 25000 wonderful pals on the SOSYAL NETWURKIN circuit…

4… I’ve never even seen a Fried Mars Bar, so I expect any day now the Scottish Ambassador to the Middle East will call, informing me that my Certification of Caledonian Nationality has been rescinded…

5… I’ve never owned a Drivers Licence… and regret that not one jot… convinced now that my primary purpose in life is to ride in the front of aircraft, the back of limousines, and to test-drive five-star hotels and bordellos, and not necessarily in that order…

6… I speak a passable form of English, better-than-schoolboy-level French, recollected Scottish Gaelic from a six-year sojourn in Tobermory, Mull in the Scottish Hebrides, enough Cantonese to order  comfortably in a Hong Kong Chinese restaurant without getting two thousand sauteed prawns instead of half a dozen spring rolls, an amusing form of Philippines’ Tagalog (it must be amusing, else why do the locals there always laugh when I speak it?), and for the past decade have toiled with primitive Arabic sounds… but most acquaintances will attest my principal lingua franca is Rubb-ish

7… Sir Winston S. Churchill has been my life-long hero, as the ultimate maverick in just about every aspect of his existence… my ambition was to meet the great man, but given his current status, I’m prepared to wait a tad longer for that…

8… Billy Connolly remains the God of Humour to me… a kindred spirit whose primary driving force and strength is a healthy irreverence for any measure of pomposity… (in Docklands, Govan we spell ‘pomposity’ as ‘sh*te’…)…

9… the purest singing voices I’ve ever heard… female, Judy Collins‘Send in the Clowns’ is unbelievably beautiful… male, the Irish tenor, John McCormack, who could sing the telephone directory and hold you transfixed… choral, the Stornaway Girls Gaelic Choir at any of the Gaelic Mods…all of these, Music of the Gods…

10… my greatest wish is that everyone in the world would treat everyone else in the way that they themselves would wish to be treated…

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…haute couture for kids, Docklands Govan, Glasgow style…

…a wee news snippet this morning announces that ‘men have become increasingly more fashion-conscious‘, with bling, cravats, hairstyling, (even highlights, Heaven forfend), and jewellery, all part and parcel of the ‘Metro-Sexual’ male…  the ‘in-thing’ is bespoke tailoring for eye-catching jackets, suits, scarves, hats, caps, cardigans and all the other clothing frippery yeez can imagine… and the family males are also cascading this sartorial encroachment onto their male offspring…  shades of ‘Children of a Lustre God’…  now, back in the days when Master Gallacher and his chums were in infant school in Docklands Govan in Glasgow, it was quite a different story… granted, our post-war slum dwellings were a tad removed from Milano and Paris in both geography and couturier catwalks… but we were not totally without our recognisable outerwear idiosyncrasies… in any street, hordes of small lads (and lassies) sported Mammy-knitted balaclavas... these may well have spawned the later craze in headwear by the Ninja, but I can’t swear to that… our feet were well-protected with the ubiquitous ‘Wellie’


…the unwise wore these unfolded at the top, causing much  aggravation when wet, rubbing against lower calves, creating what my comedic God, Billy Connolly, well-described as ‘two rings of no confidence’… no man-child of my recollection below the age of about 15 wore anything but short trousers… and I note that even these cropped versions of pants have crept back into some of the modern male’s adornments… front runners again, then, Govan… we appear to have been built of hardier stock than children today, inasmuch as very few of us had jackets, regardless of the weather… when the really wintry stuff blew in, raincoats were the order of the day, normally passed down from sibling to sibling over the years… caps were abhorred, being signia of posh schools… and scarves were a further product of Granny’s re-knits from old jerseys… I’m thinking of redesigning a range of the kinda stuff we sported back then… where did I put the number of that Salvatore Ferragamo  fella?… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…let’s sprinkle a few more Champions Awards…


…in a world that seems to rush around at an even faster pace than ever, I’d like to take a few moments to have yeez consider how important it is to acknowledge publicly the many wunnerful folks who populate Blog Land… there are already gazillions of splendid Awards, recognising the goodness of so many of our fellow scribblers and readers… supporters all in their own way, worthy of a thousand special ‘thank you’ nods… the intent of these CHAMPIONS AWARDS is to differentiate those fine people who go that extra special mile for others… my fervent hope is that this will circulate and ‘viralise’ (new WURD, Mabel, settle down) and trigger your own CHAMPIONS AWARDS for those you know deserve it :

My next nominees (round of applause, thank you) for these CHAMPIONS AWARDS are :


Pamela Wight 

Roy L. Murry  

Fiona Quinn     

Paco Lopez  

Jo Robinson    

Recipients, if you choose to accept and wish to propagate the CHAMPIONS AWARDS, please do the following:

  1. Post this Award Sticker on your blog, with the hashtag #CHAMPIONSAWARDS
  2. Acknowledge the sponsor of your Awards.
  3. Choose at least five of your own nominees and advise them accordingly, attaching these 5 guidelines.
  4. Keep it simple… no need for explanations for the Awards… we know how great these folks are.
  5. You are free to give out these Awards as frequently as you wish.

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

The Pleasure & The Pain

my scribbler pal, Claire Stibbe, picks up on a theme that many of we authors feel every day, especially with so many pirated sites around…

Claire Stibbe

I’ve heard many readers squawking about the price of eBooks. Some have said $1.99 is too high and that they will only consider buying a book if its 99 cents or free.

We know readers love reading books and authors love writing them. But there is something a reader might not know. And that is the time & tears involved in writing that book. Here are a couple of questions to consider.

  1. How long does it take for a builder to build a wall?
  2. What does he need before he arrives at the site?

Here are a few bricks that make up that literary wall. Wall

  • Character Biography: An author needs characters and each character must have a biography. For instance: When was the character born? What do they look like? Rich, poor, or middle-class?  This helps to draw a deep portrait of the person and make him/her more convincing. Motivations, arc, and struggle are also major components in forming this character. Remember Shakespeare’s

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