…having a preemptive pop at the parlous paparazzi…


…in the latest alarming developments regarding the intrusiveness of the WURLD’s paparazzi, I can totally empathise… as yeez all will relate, fellow scribblers, as an  Emerging-Iconic-Author-In-Waiting, this blight of constant photographic coverage on my own personal movements is taking its toll… I can hardly go to McDonald’s these days without at least a flurry of mobile devices snapping away, capturing my every bite of my Cheeseburger Special and slurp of my watered-down Diet Coke… I drop off my weekly laundry at the local Scrubbo-Mat to be greeted with yet more of the clickers recording what grubby undergarments I have delivered for cleansing this time…


…therefore, I feel it’s time for me to issue an OFFICIAL PUBLIC WARNING… if I encounter any more of the Snapperatti targeting my movements, they are at great risk of my approaching them and engaging their ears in my usual boring diatribes about the difficulties of being a famous Author as like what I am… they will be informed in no uncertain terms of the burden carried of eternally appearing atop the Noo Yawk Best Sailors Lists… of the need to keep the telephone receiver off the hook to stem the incessant overtures from Agents, Publishers, Film Producers, and Justin Briber looking for tips on how to be liked… it’s not easy being Iconic, y’know… Lawd knows one tries one’s level best, Mabel… think of the headaches in trying to decide whether this week’s automobile purchase’ll be a Lambourghini, a Ferrari, or yet another (yawn) Silver Shadow Rolls Royce, with personalised number plates… of choosing where next to sabbaticalise in pursuit of writing yer next blockbuster masterpiece… Bahamas? Bermuda? Baden-baden? or Brixton?… so there yeez have it, journalists, magazine columnists, scoop-seekers, and, yes, let’s face it, even fans… YEEZ HAVE BEEN WARNED!… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

4 responses to “…having a preemptive pop at the parlous paparazzi…

  1. Seumas I can sense your deep pain. I’m sure we all can. Shame on those photogs. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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