…ready, steady, rage…

…there are wheel biters and road racers… F1 aficionados and stock car racing enthusiasts… folks whose day brightens up by the sound of an engine revving… I’m not one of them… indeed, as far back as more than forty years ago I successfully failed my sole attempt at an official DRIVING TEST in the UK… there was also a highly unflattering ‘incident’ of which I hasten to say I’m not proud, when yours truly, in possession of a Provisional Driving License (for learners, of course) was involved in one of the original ‘road rage’ episodes versus some other driver who unwittingly took his life in his hands by doing sum’thing rather stupid to me in the car I was then driving…

carr

…the resultant metallic confrontation and ‘causing of supreme prejudicial assault on the other driver’s vehicle’ ended with a less than spiritually-uplifting court appearance and the recommendation from the magistrate that Master Gallacher should consider ‘never getting behind the wheel of a car again’, a view to which Master Gallacher fully subscribed… I was reminded of this earlier today when I was asked to be featured in a local publication’s piece on ‘what wheels I prefer and why’… my response mentioned NUTHIN about the road rage’ contrepemps, but I felt obliged to repeat my dear Mama’s view that her favourite son was born to ’travel in the rear of limousines, the front of civil aircraft, and to ’test-drive’ five-star hotels and bordellos, and not necessarily in that order’.. over the past several decades, I’ve endeavoured to keep assiduously to dear Mama’s guidelines… therefore, to satisfy the request from the local publication’ s editor, and not to deviate from Mama’s ethos, as a back-seat driver only, my choice of wheels, unsurprisingly, is a 1930s version of the Rolls Royce

rolls royce

…the attached photograph captures perfectly the elegance and élan of a sophisticated back-seat driver… special seating to be reserved for any and all Mama persons who align with this road travel philosophy… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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18 Comments

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18 responses to “…ready, steady, rage…

  1. You’ve saved yourself many headaches, for sure. Beautiful car.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aha! We learn the ‘dark’ side of Seumas! 😉 If I could get by with being chauffeured I would…..

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Too funny Seumas! You are doing your mama proud. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rosa Ave Fénix

    Hahahahaha… no doubt… you’re the best!!!! Me like you preffer travelling in a comfortable car, not in front of the driving wheel (besides I haven’t the driving license)… of course not flying in turist class… and so on…I’m not selective as well????

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I wouldn’t mind traveling in the back of that at all. It’s far fancier than anything I ever drove. 🙂 I used to drive in the U.S. I’ve never driven in India for good reason. 😦 They’ve recently become familiar with the term “road rage” here, again for good reason. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love it Seumas! There is no doubt that some are born to drive, some are not. There are some that only drive you round the bend 🙂 My mum never drove; she was a hazard and a menace on a bike and my dad would not allow her behind the wheel of any car! She gratefully complied, happy to let him drive her anywhere. My sister is the same because her husband drives her everywhere, or she walks. Her nerves would just not let her get through the test, no road rage involved! Me? I love driving; like my dad, I love it and adore being alone in my car, solitary and peaceful with my own thoughts. I never suffer from road-rage; although both my dad and my esteemed other half both reckon I have a heavy right foot 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m afraid that my story very closely resembles Jeannette Taylor Ford. I too have a heavy right foot, though somewhat tempered by age. I also did a wee bit of amateur sports car racing in my young adulthood. To say I have driven every kind of vehicle is fairly accurate, including a very short stint in an eighteen wheeter. My sons are no longer surprised if I say I’m driving hundreds of miles to get someplace. “That’s Mom,” they say.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. If only my mama would have told me I needed to sit in the back of a limousine. It seems she sat in the back while I did the driving. To this day I’d be sitting in the back if I could. My hat is off to you, Sir.

    Liked by 1 person

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