…once more unto the telephonic barricades, comrades… vive la voice!…

man

…it’s a jingle jungle out there… which is why this ol’ Jurassic is more than happy to stay indoors most of the time… but even within the comparative security of one’s own domestic dominion, peril lurks… it’s an open secret that yours truly was born a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong time past, when stuff generally was a lot simpler… and specifically, stuff like making a straight-forward telephone call to yer favourite service provider of anything… back then, yeez usually got an instant, welcoming, melodious, female, ‘come-to-bed-with-me’ kinda voice saying, ‘…ah, that’ll be Mister Bert in Haberdashery.. let me put yer call through, Sir’… and moments later, the helpful Mister Bert would indeed solve yer issues in less time than it takes to say, ‘hold on, yer call’s important to us’… changed days now, I fear… case in point this morning… from the relative safety of my own armchair, yet another assault on my patience, nerves, and anxiety levels… the Satanic, tinny, squeak that  passes for a vocal communication ordered me to press this button and that button and then a hundred and one other buttons to ensure that I am now familiar with every possible division and supposed service available from the organisation I’ve just called… this time it happened to be a bank, but don’t be fooled, Lads and Lassies of Blog Land… the disease is everywhere… IT companies have it as a terminal affliction, and it’s infectious… I think yeez catch it through yer listening ear… cable television providers, credit card companies, mortgage lenders… they’re all smitten… a pal on another line suggested I merely press the ‘zero’ button to get through to a ‘real’ voice immediately… alas, the b*stards are wise to that now, and the tapping of the ‘O’ frequently gives yeez the ‘thank you for yer call, goodbye’… and yeez are compelled to gird yer digital loins and dial again…

reaper

…there’s a fortune waiting for the person who devises a button which, when yeez press it, automatically detonates a nuclear-fission-style explosion effect on whatever company is at the other end of the robotic line… evil? yes, but a sublimely happy thought… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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16 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

16 responses to “…once more unto the telephonic barricades, comrades… vive la voice!…

  1. Rosa Ave Fénix

    Indeed!!!!!!! here in Spain is the same… calling for some information gets my nerves… if you want this, press1 for that press 2… and sometimes 15 different numbers, so many times I leave the matter and I think, perhaps it’d solve by itself!!!!!! Phoning to banks, electricity companies… really its a sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For goodness sake, never misplace a 4-digit number code for a crediit/debit card. I hadn’t used mine for several years to activate it and put the code in a safe place even I can’t find. They don’t like to send things like that in the mail here, so said I had to go get it. The building had a broken lift last time I was there, and the office is up a multitude of steps. At my age, that’s no joke. Also the building entrance coincides with a bus terminal entrance and exit. You have to be quick. I explained, was asked to hold, and the woman came back and repeated the same answer. Hopeless, just hopeless. I was told by someone that these people have a paper in front of them with the stock answers to frequently asked questions. You’ll receive no further help from them. :(. Oh yes. She filed a complaint and I was texted the number of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Or close the wall up with our persisting dead?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Heaven forbid if you accidently hit the wrong number, then you have to go through the whole dang thing again!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If ever a person answered on the other side we’d probably had a fit.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Drat, and it’s not getting better. Yikes. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nilanjana Bose

    Totally true…had to go over to their office to ask which button to press for help :)…thank you for a great session y’day and a great post here…

    Nilanjana.
    Madly-in-Verse

    Liked by 1 person

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