…TEN things yeez’ll hear an Author say… NOT!…

…I’m not into those invasive compilations on Facebook where I answer questions and then they compute stuff and tell me how closely related I am to Napoleon Bonaparte… or what hidden genius skill I possess… or how many Mcdonald’s cheeseburgers I’ve eaten in my lifetime… yeez know the kinda stuff… so here’s Master Gallacher’s list of absolute ‘no-no’s for budding quill-scrapers… TEN things yeez’ll hear an Author say… NOT!

1. …the opening line of my new masterpiece is ‘…it was a storm and darkly night…’ (or derivations thereof)…

2  …my wee literary baby has just reached the top five on the worst-sellers list…

3  …I got an Agent from my very first Query letter…

4  …Brad Pitt and Scarlett Johannson both rang last night pleading for the leads in the movie version of my book…

5. …I can’t decide whether to buy a Ferrari or a Lamborghini with my first month’s royalty cheque…





6. …I never have to do any editing on my manuscripts…

7. …I don’t care whether or not people buy my book (aye, right!)…

8. …my WURK is so good, I know I can price it at US$175.00 per copy…

9. …spelling and grammar don’t really matter…everybody makes mistakes in their writing, don’t they?…

10…I don’t care if people don’t like my stuff (aye, right! again)…

…if yeez think of any more to add to this list, feel free, Lads and Lassies of Blog Land…

…oh, and by the way, the answers to the Facebook Questionnaires from the opening paragraph above?.. I’m the fourteenth cousin, thrice removed of the uncle of the grandpa of Napoleon Bonaparte… I have a hidden genius talent for Jigsaw puzzles, so long as they have no more than four pieces… and it seems I’ve scoffed about twelve and a half thousand Mcdonald’s cheeseburgers in my life time… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

16 responses to “…TEN things yeez’ll hear an Author say… NOT!…

  1. Good one. (smile) I like it. One thing I have heard authors say that makes me shake my head:
    – I wish I had a typewriter, so I could write on it. –
    I had one, still have one, love my computer. Correcting typos on a typewriter, are a royal @#$%&. Trust me, it’s not that great an experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 11. It’s the easiest thing in the world to edit my own work. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 12. I never have self doubts, because I am the best writer out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 13. Marketing is my favorite part! (Too bad I have to do all that writing to get to it…)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I decided to save money by designing my own cover and having my little daughter color it with her crayons. Who cares about the cover anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. ROFL! How about: I have spell check, who needs an editor?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. All my friends love and understand what I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Unfortunately, I’ve heard people say #9.

    I’ll add #14, if I may… I never get distracted by Facebook or other forms of social media.

    Liked by 1 person

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