…and the winner is… what!!!????

…there are many things which yeez are aware of, which once seen, can never be unseen… in the same vein, there are things and incidents which yeez witness, which once witnessed, can never be unwitnessed… I bring yeez a story, a true recounting of one such phenomenally unforgettable passage from about 30 years ago… the location is the Far East, in Hong Kong to be precise… I lived and WURKED there at the time, and was appraised of this by a close friend, who couldn’t contain himself with it… he was a member of the Hong Kong Wine Society… now, I personally have NUTHIN against people who fancy themselves as true oenophiles (wine buffs, Mabel… wine buffs)… as a side issue, I’ve never quite understood how with a single sniff at a rotting cork yeez can divine the origin, vintage (wine-age?), maker, address of the grape-seed supplier, names of the guys who plucked the bottles from the wine trees, and how many cheese sandwiches they ate during the growing season… but, seemingly, yer true experts can do all that…

…then there’s the other sort… the wannabe wine snobs… the Chardonnay Charlatans… the Medoc Mountebanks… the Savignon Shamsters… yeez’ve all seen them… well, one such interloper was a notorious keep-on-turn-up-regardless-er… the lady wife of a prominent British society family in the colony… and sadly, her strongest suit was the frequent uber-indulgence in the contents of the wine bottles rather than the delicate tasting of them… the occasion referred to above involved a weekend trip by the Wine Society to what was then the Excelsior Hotel in Macau, a forty-minute jet-ferry ride from Hong Kong… two full days of activities culminated in a formal wine-tasting with a panel of judges, of whom our hiccupping heroine was the first in the line at the table… the deal was quite straight forward… a line of glasses of wine were arrayed in front of each of four judges and they were tasked with choosing the ‘best’ one…

…the lady had slugged generously on each of the selected wines and slurringly declared that the best was undoubtedly Glass ‘E’… consternation briefly reigned… as each glass was actually numbered ‘1’ through ‘4’… she had failed to notice that every glass bore a large letter ‘E’ on the side… this by dint of the fact that they belonged to the ‘E’xcelsior Hotel… cheeeeeeeeeeeers! …. see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…

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