Monthly Archives: January 2015

…POSITIONS VACANT… don’t all rush, now…

help wanted

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS to RE-LAUNCH DAY for SAVAGE PAYBACK

…4 days hence, on January 27th, it hits the web-waves..

…and today, I’m holding virtual interviews for the lofty and vital positions of GALLACHER’S BANTERERS… …did I hear a mutter of ’WTF?‘ back there? …any self-respecting novel’s relaunch requires a posse of individuals prepared to put their names and reputations on the line as ASSOCIATES AT LARGE… here’s what’s involved— on the day of the launch, or even starting right now if yeez are really keen… Master Gallacher will be beating the drum all round the WURLD and many other places about his Jack Calder crime thriller masterpiece, SAVAGE PAYBACK

job interview

…having GALLACHER’S BANTERERS alongside keeps him from getting too lonely, frustrated, feeling melancholy, ignored, and all the other sundry, dreadful, imaginary evils that impact an Author’s head when a launch is in full flow… this is the time to count my pals… if I get above two, I shall consider myself well-blessed… QUALIFICATIONS TO BE INCLUDED IN GALLACHER’S BANTERERS (a) yeez must be alive (or near enuff), (b) yeez must have access to the internet (or near enuff), (c) yeez must possess an I.Q, sum’where between 5 and 235 (or near enuff)… being as I am, Scottish by birth, there will be no negotiations entered into about monetary reward... yeez’ll get yer kudos in Literary Heaven (or near enuff)… so, let’s be having yer applications… don’t all rush at once now… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

launch SP

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…I could teach that Gordon Ramsay chef fellow a thing or three…

…it all happened a lo-o-o-ong time ago… in the town of Campbeltown on the Mull of Kintyre (which made Paul McCartney famous before Kanye West thought of helping the poor wee Liverpudlian into the limelight)…. so far back, indeed that even McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken hadn’t yet added to the Fried Mars Bars menu choices for Scots everywhere… and therein lies part of the thing… at the time, this ol’ Jurassic was a bachelor in his early twenties… a period of much apprenticeship in the fine art of alcohol imbibement… striving to acquire my Black Belt in ’Getting Pished’… the lodgings in Campbeltown were shared with three other lads, equally in the same pursuit of large quantities of the Electric Soup… the other guys were pretty adept at throwing together a meal for the four of us, and took it in rotation to do so… I’d long since claimed absolute ignorance of anything to do with cuisinery propensity, and contributed my dish-washing skills instead to compensate for that… one weekend, communal madness seemed to overtake our quartet and I was given free rein to ’try to cook dinner’ for us all… I’m certain a drink or more had been taken in the making of that decision… the money contribution was handed over in the morning, and the rest of the fellows went about their Saturday activities in expectation of Master Gallacher’s gastronomic grandeur in the evening… I decided they deserved a good Cabbage Soup followed by Fried Rice… the ingredients were purchased accordingly, and the process began… this next passage should prob’ly invoke an editorial drawing across of a curtain… things didn’t go exactly as the Michelin Star people might have looked for… it seems if yeez boil a lettuce for three hours, it doesn’t produce cabbage soup…

lettuce???cabbage

…similarly, if yeez pour dry rice straight from the packet into a frying pan with just a tad of cooking oil, it forms the most impressive doily pattern… but it also, rather churlishly I feel, resembles a burnt, scarred, kinda pitiful, thick, papery biscuit…

rice??????????doily

…the boys were so impressed with my efforts, I was sent to purchase four orders of fish and chips from the local chippie… and as a direct consequence of my kitchen success, the dishwashing became my sole domain for the balance of my stay there… have I ever told yeez I heat up a mean sausage roll?… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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…here’s how we Scots do ‘office’…

…I’m sure the good folks who made the video clip here won’t mind it getting an airing on my wee blog… it’s not often I watch one of these, among the gazillions that populate the internet daily, but after seeing this I wanted to stand up and applaud… it’s the epitome of great advertising… getting yer message across through humour that neither hurts nor mocks, and sees the ’wee guy’ prosper in the end… LUVVED IT!… enjoy… I’m off to give my kilt another airing… slainte mhath!… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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…Wee Jockie… and a prime lesson on how to WURK yer way through a windfall…

drunk

…this ol’ Jurassic’s banking career kicked off just over 50 years ago in Docklands Govan in Glasgow… in the mighty Clydesdale & North of Scotland Bank Limited’s outpost, situated on the corner of Govan Cross, adjacent to the vast Harland & Wolff shipyards, the then kings of the shipbuilding industry on Clydeside… the area didn’t boast much in the way of wealthy merchants, nor stockbrokers… not even a lawyer nor accountant or two… in the WURDS of the politicians… Govan was definitely WURKING class… ‘NUTHIN wrong with that’, I hear yeez say… and right yeez are… what it did breed was more than its fair share of characters… one such was Wee Jockie… his family name is conveniently lost, lest I get hammered for disclosure of confidential banking records… Wee Jockie was one of thousands of men who helped build the great ocean-going vessels for which the mighty Govan shipyards were justifiably famous in these days… he entered the bank one day, completely unknown to anyone… dressed in his cloth cap, trench coat over his dungarees, and stood at the main teller window… I recall he didn’t reach more than about five feet, cap and all… he wanted to open an account… the deposit was a crumpled cheque dated about a week earlier… Wee Jockie had never had a bank account before and had obviously been trying to figure out how to go about getting one… a simple signing of a form or two (none of yer money-laundering regulatory rubbish back then—certainly not in Govan) and his account was live… the cheque came from a local bookmaker, in the splendid sum of Sixty-Three Pounds, Five Shillings Sterling in pre-decimal money… now, yeez have to understand that the average weekly wage for a chap like Wee Jockie was prob’ly in the region of Seven Pounds Sterling... on that first day he withdrew Six Pounds Sterling… the very next day he was back… looking slightly the worse for wear… self-inflicted ailments of the Electric Soup Kind had left the signs of a full-blown hangover… this second day saw a withdrawal of Three Pounds Sterling… succeeding days came and we witnessed repeats of the standard Three Pounds Sterling takeaways… in those days the bank opened half-days on Saturdays, and just before closing at midday, Wee Jockie rushed in… bleary-eyed, and apparently not long out of his bed… and the weekend spend was looked after with a withdrawal of Eight Pounds Sterling

drunk 2

…suffice to say, we could almost set the clock by Wee Jockie’s expected arrival times for the next couple of weeks… finally the balance had dwindled all the way down to a mere Five Pounds Sterling… he arrived with his usual puffy features, a certain air of alcoholic haze drifting around him… as he cleaned out that final Five Pounds Sterling, we heard his voice raised properly for the first time, he waved to us all and said, ’Thanks for a’ yer help…this has been the best bender I’ve ever been on— the Missus is still trying to figure out where I got the money from… Cheerio!’… it was evidently the last time he ever won big with the local bookmaker, ‘coz we never saw him again… I wonder if his wife ever got wind of how he managed to be blotto for a whole three weeks straight!… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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Is My Novel Ready for Proofreading? by Guest Author Wendy Janes @wendyproof

…splendid post on proof reading by Wendy Janes on Ronovan Writes ..:)

Lit World Interviews

Is My Novel Ready for Proofreading?

I love my job as a freelance proofreader, but sometimes authors make it very difficult for me to do my job effectively.

However brilliant your writing, however delicious your story, if there are too many errors and inconsistencies, you are asking too much of your proofreader to spot everything.

Here are a few examples of things that should have been removed by the author/developmental editor/copy editor prior to proofreading. Just in case you’re wondering, they are all products of my fevered imagination:

  • A tear-jerking family saga opens with Davina playing with her five-year-old brother, Oliver, on the sprawling lawns of their darling papa’s country estate. When our feisty heroine rescues sweet young Oliver from his evil kidnappers two years later, he is ten years old. The hapless Oliver dies in a fire soon after his rescue, and (miraculously) reappears at Davina’s sumptuous wedding to…

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…isn’t it rich?…

…I don’t care how hard-assed I think I may appear from time to time, especially to people who’ve never met me before… I’ve had my moments of gruffness and growling around folks and situations that displease me… thankfully, a modicum of alleged maturity has replaced the veneer of the Dockland Govan hard man from my upbringing in Glasgow… the trigger points of red-mist-from-toes-to-top-of-the-skull rage which occasionally coloured this ol’ Jurassic’s formative years seem, mercifully, a thing of yesteryear… as yer man, Danny Glover in the Maverick movie says, ‘I’m getting too old for this sh*t’… don’t misunderstand me, however… I’m still capable of coming swinging out of my tree, all knuckles and knees ready for combat at the drop of a hat (mind that hat, Mabel!)… but these days, by choice, my preference is to maintain at least the pretence of being a steady, balanced individual (what? a bluudy sane, sensible, Scotsman?..who am I kidding?)… however, it is remarkable how soothing can be the Great Pacifier…music… music’s one of my major ‘go-to’ escape valves when the rest of the planet is in one of it’s so-fecking-bonkers-yeez-have-to-opt-away modes… and no better soother-of-the-blistered-brow is the piece above by the Lady with the Golden Voice… Judy Collins… these days, I don’t require the premise of agitation to listen to her… do yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land have favourite pieces of music/songs/throwbacks that yeez basically stop what ye’re doing to listen to?,… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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… Authoress, Nancy Jardine, one of my litter-mates from Crooked Cat Publishing, pops in again to say hello…

nancy 2

…hi, Nancy, great to have you aboard again…

…what are yeez doing, Lassie?

These days I’m ‘encouraged’ not to overdo the use of adverbs and adjectives. That’s something I have a problem with as an ex-‘senior stages’ primary teacher who had to teach the use of both, though I know that my title has to be an overdone phrase as well.

…I’m sure that doesn’t mean ye’re floundering?

I hope not, but I am bemused by the to-ing and fro-ing these days. For a while, it seemed to me, that an author was published by traditional means or they were self-published. That distinction has, thankfully, gone and it’s perfectly possible for an author to be a comfortable mix of both.

…and yer scribbling, how’s it doing?

I’m about to embark on the road of self-publishing, having had two small publishers presenting my work since 2011. The initial contracts having come to their agreed terms on my first two published mystery romances means they are free to be re-launched by Crooked Cat Publishing this coming spring. That will bring my ‘cat’ total to six novels.

…and why the self- publishing road?

To date, my stories have been for the general adult market – romantic mysteries and historical romantic adventures but my recently completed time-travel historical adventure (superbly edited by Jeff Gardiner) is different. The Taexali Game is intended for the lower end of the YA market although there’s readability for all ages.

My biggest quandary as I wait for my cover design to be created is what name do I put on that cover to distinguish it from my writing for a more mature audience? Do I still call myself Nancy Jardine?

…are yeez thinking of adopting a pseudonym?

The problem with a pseudonym is that I’d be back to being a complete unknown in my home territory of Aberdeenshire, Scotland. That would be a downright shame because for the last three years I’ve been working hard to make my Nancy Jardine author presence (brand) more prominent through giving author talks to local libraries and community groups. I’ve been selling my print books at local Craft Fairs, and gaining recognition through being featured by the local press. Since The Taexali Game has an Aberdeenshire setting, there is a potentially local captive market.

So what do you think? Should I keep my name as Nancy Jardine on the front cover of The Taexali Game?

…my not so ‘umble opinion, m’Lady, is to keep with yer own name… it’s got plenty of ‘street-cred’ now… if yeez really want to differentiate on the JONGGR, p’raps add a middle initial on the fresh stuff to distinguish it from the existing back list… the fact that yeez are producing in a different genre doesn’t detract from the quality of yer quill-scrapping… besides, ‘Nancy’ is a smashing name!

 …and next up?… 

Anyone who wants to know what Taexali means might just have to wait and read my YA novel. Though that will be after I use the inimitable Seumas Gallacher’s fantastic tips in his wee guide ‘Self-Publishing Steps to Successful Sales’ which I happily reviewed – even though at the time of writing the review the thought of self-publishing the completed novel was a bit pie in the sky!

Thank you for giving me blog space, Seumas. I’m looking forward to fielding any suggestions and responses

clap…I remember yer review well, m’Lady. and thanks a bundle for that… we all appreciate it when people take time to drop a few lines, don’t we? …thanks a ton also, for taking time out of yer hectic diary to grace my wee blog… come back anytime… the haggis sandwiches’ll be ready for yeez… see yeez later…LUV YEEZ!…

…Nancy Jardine lives in the fabulous castle country of Aberdeenshire, Scotland. A lover of history, it sneaks into most of her writing along with many of the fantastic world locations she’s been fortunate to visit. Her published work to date includes two non fiction history related projects and six novels. Three novels are contemporary mysteries (two of these are due to be re-launched in the spring of 2015 by Crooked Cat Publishing) The others are her Celtic Fervour Series of historical romantic adventures set in first century Roman Britain (great covers, huh?)…

beltane 1beltane2beltane 3

Ancestry research is an intermittent hobby; tending her garden is in on a ‘fair-weather’ basis but her grand childminding duties are regular and take up chunks of her week. The Taexali Game, a time-travel historical adventure for the YA market is due for publishing in the spring of 2015.

Author links:

TOPAZ EYES- finalist for THE PEOPLE’S BOOK PRIZE FICTION 2014 

Celtic Fervour Series of Historical Romantic Adventures – set in AD 71-84

Amazon UK author page    Amazon US author page   Blog    Website   Facebook  Goodreads   About Me   LinkedIn   Twitter @nansjar  Google+ 

 Amazon Author page for books and to view book trailer videos:

US http://amzn.to/RJZzZz   UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nancy-Jardine/e/B005IDBIYG/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Novels also available from and http://crookedcatbooks.com ; Barnes and Noble; W.H. Smith; Waterstones.com; Smashwords

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