…Auto Incorrect… the harbinger of the new age spelling conflict…

…an old chestnut goes sum’thing like this, ‘the first sign of lunacy, is hair on the palm of yer hands… and the second sign is looking for the hair’… be that as it may, I think a stronger case for provable imbecility is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome… this ol’ scribbler is the first to admit… I put my hand up… this latter evidence of madness applies to me in spades… and it’s also got a wee bit to do with the irrefutable fact that I may be the last of the computer Jurassics… as some of yeez know, I’ve been seen to do a lap of honour if my computer lights up when I switch it on… there’s this built-in application thing-y which supposedly corrects yer stuff if, Heaven forfend, yeez should ever type a WURD wrong…


…add to the confusion the complete inability of that Auto Incorrect to distinguish when yeez are writing in English English and not in the lingua franca of the nation that spawned the software… ‘MerikaAmerican-English like what she is spoke on television from across the Pond… I’m well aware that the application chooses/prefers/thrusts-upon-me/gives-me-no-choice but to accept its version… but, decades of built-in pedagogue discipline in Scottish literary and grammatical  education cause me instinctively to reach for my well-worn dictionary to check the spelling… no, Mabel, I will not use the application on Google to check that, coz’ them computer application basta*ds are all in cahoots inside my laptop… I change the American-English back into that which Her Britannic Majesty would find acceptable and type on… and, of course, before too much time elapses, along comes an iteration of the offending WURD


…a sharp intake of breath, a stretch for the dictionary, and off we go again… I know, I know, I know… I should’ve learned by now just to rise above it… I should’ve learned by now to let the disputive letters remain as they are… I should’ve learned by now to carry on with the rest of my quill-scraping life… and here’s sum’thing I wonder, do my Author pals from ’Merika have the same Auto Incorrect issues to deal with …in reverse?… I’m off to look for the hair on the palm of my hands now… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

13 responses to “…Auto Incorrect… the harbinger of the new age spelling conflict…

  1. At the risk of stating the Bleeding Obvious…you can turn it off, you know…and also change the spellcheck language to UK English. That’s how I managed some of the books what I used to write with US spellings and some with UK
    Ask any 10-year old kid if it’s too hard for you!!


  2. … my limited intelligence in the use of computer stuff forbids messing around ( read;Trying switches and things) with the laptop… and engaging conversations with minors is a dangerous activity after Savile exploits …cheeers 🙂


  3. I am rather a non-geek when it comes to computers myself. I know there are ways to get around it, but since I don’t encounter it often enough, I don’t mess with it. I did some proofreading for a friend in Australia and in trying to explain some of my corrections, I came to realize that there was no way on God’s good earth that my computer was going to allow me to type that same word (realize) with an ise ending. 🙂 I got a good chuckle out of that. Not that I was trying to change his spellings to American English, by the way, but apparently his software allowed him to spell these words with both ize and ise endings. I suppose if I ever wanted to write something in British English as opposed to my native American English, I would have to learn how to disable that feature.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Not us, Sir, I promise. It’s speaking something else entirely. Otherwise it wouldn’t have changed my “Happy Thanksgiving” to “Happy Thanks, Girl I bong.” Oh wasn’t that a joy to explain to the recipient…


  5. Not our fault, Sir, I promise. It’s speaking something else entirely. Otherwise it wouldn’t have changed my “Happy Thanksgiving” to “Happy Thanks, Girl I bong.” Oh wasn’t that a joy to explain to the recipient…


  6. Sorry, sir…not sure why it posted twice…I blame it on autocorrect.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As I revenge, I’m getting my i-Phone to learn Spanish so now I can/it can confuse me in even more languages. And I throw a bit of Catalan in too! On the other hand, we can send stupid messages and blame autocorrect…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. laurie27wsmith

    Your iPhone will self destruct on Gaelic Seumas.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Just remember Seumas, Auto Correct is not your friend. I finally found where to switch British English to American English but that doesn’t help if two words are pronounced the same but spelled differently. I still have to reach for the dictionary sometimes. UK and America, two countries separated by a common language. As the Professor said in “My Fair Lady”, Why in America they hardly ever speak it (English) at all.” 🙂


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