…fine dining.. as ye’re (sum’times) allowed to have it…

…this ol’ Jurassic makes no secret of the fact that he LUVS good food… witness, a waistline prob’ly ‘a-hem’ inches tighter than it should be, and a weighing-scale marker sum’what higher than most GPs would recommend for an almost-iconic Author like me… my range of menu preference would do justice to the CV of both a gourmet and a gourmand… my palate has been tickled by cheffery in cuisineries as posh as the Dorchester Hotel’s range of eating establishments, with all the delicacies of the planet on offer… however, I’m not above indulging that most splendid of dishes—a double cheeseburger at McDonald’s, with extra fries and lashings of tomato ketchup, oh, and don’t forget the DIET Coke


…fine dining a la fast food junk outlets at its best… a propos of NUTHIN, my mem’ry this morning flashed  back about thirty years to a remarkable episode in one of Europe’s best hotels… the Baur au Lac in Zurich , and more exactly to it’s famed Grill Room… an American colleague and I were on a business trip, and repaired to the restaurant to enjoy a good steak dinner… now, understand this, the Swiss can be just a tad particular about how they think food should be served… both of us ordered steaks… mine, medium to well-done, and his well-done (he is American, after all)… the waiter assigned to our table was a throwback from a nineteen-thirties silent movie… slicked and gelled black hair combed backward all the way from the temple to the rear of his skull, ending a quarter inch above his collar… his smart dark tuxedo suit legs seemed about five inches short, revealing startlingly white socks covering the lower part of his legs…oh, and the guy was about six feet six inches tall, contributing in large part to the ’trousers-flying-at-half-mast’ appearance…




…the starters came and went, but when the steaks arrived, my pal prodded the meat with his fork, and it oozed a little red… certainly not ‘well-done’ as we would have defined it… he called our ‘Lurch’ to the table and asked for it to be taken back and made well-done… almost fifteen minutes elapsed whilst I tucked into my steak… when the recalcitrant meal re-appeared, held diffidently at arms-length by our server, he almost plonked it onto the table…it still wasn’t well-done, barely creeping into the medium/well-done range…


…again my companion summoned the lad and said ’this isn’t ‘well-done’’... the priceless, unforgettable response,  delivered with almost a sneer was ‘Sir, THAT is how we do ‘well-done’ at Baur au Lac… and he flounced away… as my stunned dinner mate meekly cut into his steak, I could hardly eat my creme brûlée for fits of laughter… and I await with wild expectation the next time a McDonald’s employee tells me ’Sir, THAT is how we do double cheeseburger at McDonald’s’… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

8 responses to “…fine dining.. as ye’re (sum’times) allowed to have it…

  1. When our daughter came back from a trip to India a number of years ago, she asked to be taken directly to a Taco Bell where she indulged with relish. The last time she was here, she informed me that she went to get a Big Mac upon arriving in Chicago. Kentucky Fried Chicken has gone over big, really big, here. Also, ketsup is a big favorite. I have a feeling that Indians think Americans eat everything with ketsup on it. 🙂 I was aware that better restaurants in Europe prefer to leave the steak a bit uncooked compared with what is often eaten in the U.S. Also, that plate of food shown in such marvelous full color on this blog has made me hungry for steak. It’s been ages since I’ve had any. You can get red meat here if you know where to go. Legally though, it’s against the law to kill a cow in Maharashtra. You can get pork. I got some bacon in New Delhi that would have burned a hole in the carpet if it had fallen. I don’t know how much hot masala had been used.

    Liked by 1 person

    • .well. it’s amazing when sum’thing’s prohibited that the desire for it grows … pork is no-no in most of the Middle east, although , it can be found, so long as it’s not on display for local Muslim shoppers… the journeys into ‘foodie’ country can be fascinating..:):)


  2. When we finished Medical School I remember we went to a fancy hotel in Barcelona and one of the waiters told my friend which piece of cutlery to use…Oh well….I haven’t eaten meat for years although in my country I think a lot of people cook it more that it’s the custom in the UK

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Seumas, was the waiter’s name, by any chance, Herman Munstaire? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.