…Vogue For Scottish Clansmen… or, if it’s good enuff for Braveheart, it’s good enuff for me…

kilt 2

…over on Facebook today, my great pal Authoress, Fiona Quinn asks a coupla questions about mens’ fashion, such as ‘mens’ purses’, ‘tight-fits-above-the-ankle wear’ and suchlike… to we common or garden, (or p’raps common or heather-laden moor) barbarians of North Britain the situation is never under doubt… yeez’ll be aware that yer average ‘Kiltie’ sports a sporran, nestling in front of his apparel… no need for a purse, nor even a wallet, (I won’t venture into the frequency or otherwise at which the wallet may or may not be prised open), as this manly pouch carries all that yer Caledonian gentleman requires… notes of the realm, bearing of course the picture of Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second of Great Britain… a.k.a Queen Elizabeth the First of Scotland (look at yer history books, people)… bottle openers… plural… yeez never want to lose one and find yerself unable to take the top off yer locally-brewed MacEwans Ale lunch…


…photographs (optional) of yer first-ever LUV, the baby bagpipes yeez played as a two-year-old… a wee cross-language dictionary of Scottish-English/Glasgow-English in the event yeez ever have to visit the great metropolis where the almost-iconic, Legend-In-His-Own-Lunchtime Author, Master Gallacher was born… apart from the sporran, other mandatory fashion accessories for yer Clansman of the Year is yer sgian dubh… an ornate dagger, semi-secreted, tucked into yer right-hand sock…

sgian dubh

…useful when discussions turn a bit sour and yeez need a bit of backup persuasion with yer arguments… as to tight-fit or otherwise above the ankles, much of that will depend entirely on the girth of the wearer… although it has been remarked in the past that a ‘good solid arse’ will help yeez ‘carry’ the kilt with more swagger than those capable of modelling for beanpoles… it must be stated, however that the notion of ‘zero-size’ derrieres among Scots males is as likely as finding an honest politician… right, I’m off now, I have to go press my kilt pleats for another of my celebrity opening at McDonalds… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

8 responses to “…Vogue For Scottish Clansmen… or, if it’s good enuff for Braveheart, it’s good enuff for me…

  1. wow, seumas! what a great wake-up picture. and a ‘good solid arse’ is a powerful weapon to have in one’s pocket.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seumas, you standing there in your attire puts Braveheard to shame. You’re the pride of Scotland. I’m sure you can swagger with the best of them, and I can almost hear the bagpipes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In the past I met some local Scottish Country Dancers, and of course I HAD to get the lowdown of this gentleman’s apparel, including this fancy seal skin purse he carried, ah er, in front. I had completely forgotten the name of the dagger he secreted away, which was not near the beaut you pictured above. Thanks for the Kilt kit lessons. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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