…he’ll never amount to anything, that Shakespeare bloke…


…so, tell me Mr Shakespeare, my trillions of fanzine readers will be entranced to know just how much time yeez spend on the SOSYAL NETWURKS about yer plays and stuff?… what? yeez’ve never heard of Twitter? Facebook? Blogging? Tumblr? Google+?… how on earth have yeez managed to get such broad readership then?… quality of writing, yeez say?… hmmm… don’t know about that, William… let me ask yeez then about yer particular JONGGR?… what? yeez don’t confine yerself to one JONGGR?… how can that be successful? quality of writing, yeez say? …again… okay, well what about an Agent?… and an International Publishing deal?… none?…yeez’ve never heard of Penguin? Random House?… no that’s not the title of a play, Sir… it’s people who help yeez to sell yer WURK… not the way it’s done in Olde Englande?… well, where do yeez go for yer Writing Critique Circles?… yer Missus does that?… fair enuff… she seems to be doing a decent job of it already… say ‘Hi!‘ to Ms Hathaway for me, won’t yeez?… so all this kerfuffle about ‘being present on the Internet’… yes, Mister Shakespeare, the Internet… it’s a kinda international electronically-driven communication system… electricity? yeez haven’t heard of that?… my goodness… how do yeez ever sell yer stuff at all, at all, man… New York Times Bestseller lists?… what?… it’s a newspaper in America…..America, Sir… a big continent across the Atlantic Ocean from here… Pulitzer Prize Lists? Nobel Literature Awards?… Nada? Nowt? NUTHIN?… <PICTURE FADES>


…yes, boss, I met the guy… complete nutcase… living in a different WURLD… I don’t care how good an Editor yeez are, man, yeez’ll never be able to tell this lad’s story… he expects to be a multi-million copy seller!… and he hasn’t a clue how any of this gig WURKS… yes boss… Who? … John Steinbeck?… he’s agreed to meet me at 4.pm?… okay, I’m on my way… at least he should be a bit more clued up…


…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

10 responses to “…he’ll never amount to anything, that Shakespeare bloke…

  1. Oddly enough this ties in with what I’m writing this morning, Seumas 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Apparently finding a good printer and having an in with the queen who supported your plays helped Will. He also appealed to the ordinary people who went to see his plays. They delighted in the language and situaltions.( word of mouth–word of mouth–word of mouth). He also built themes around already successful writing. He just brought it up-to-date. Writers today are doing the same. Apparently Will was a great marketer in his day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry about that typo in the third sentence. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As Suzanne says, I think Will was pretty good at manipulating the social networks of his day. But I suppose he didn’t have to jostle with so many other writers for attention, as authors do today. He did write pretty well, too…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Breaking the rules… | Daily Echo

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