…Oh, the weather outside is… is…is… is what???!!!

…my perpetual God of Comedy over the past 40-plus years has been the Scottish Humour Genius, Billy Connolly… he claims that his brain oft-times processes external information in ways that people around him seem not to process the same data… I think that trait is common to many of we Scots… my own career is pocked with instances where the holding of my tongue rather than remarking with what I felt was p’raps amusing, but at clearly inappropriate junctures, may have served better my relationships and working career… c’est la vie… couple that with my innate Black Belt in Awkward-ism, and yeez’ll get some idea of what I mean… a  twisted mind, maybe, but let me give yeez a fr’instance… like most of yeez, I’ve watched innumerable allegedly ‘suspense’ movies, where the climax features a ticking bomb, or explosive machine, or an approach to a vast waterfall in an oarless rowing boat…

wires

…frankly I’ve seen more suspense in watching paint dry… ‘coz it’s so predictable… just one time, wouldn’t it be fun, to see the timer start at say 03.00.00 hours, minutes and seconds to countdown, and the hero comes in and clips the correct coloured wire when the clock has only gone as far as 02.58.15 or, better still it reaches 00.00.01, and he clips the wire… and the whole bluudy thing erupts in a huge fireball, taking us immediately to the end of the movie… or the hero spends the first 2 hours, 59 minutes and 40 seconds getting into the wires, and finds they’re all the same colour

clock

…solve that, Sherlock!… it’s the unpredictability that makes comedy what it is… we guffaw more readily when we get surprised… prime example… true story (aren’t all my stories, true, Mabel?)… many years ago, I knew a fellow in Manila in the Philippines who supplemented his income by carrying the weather forecast for the region by channeling that information from the US World Weather Service at the US Air Base at Clark, north of the capital… his routine was to have a young assistant call early in the morning to enquire what the forecast was to be,… sum’how, one morning, when the youngster called the contact, it seems the guy on the other end must have had a rough night… his flippant weather forecast was simply, ‘today the weather is going to be f*cking sh*te’… unknown to my pal, the youngster knew no differently than to publish in the daily newsletter verbatim the bulletin from Clark… several local main daily newspapers carried the forecast (minus my asterisks)…

weather

…apparently no complaints were received, as the weather that day was, in fact, ‘f*cking sh*te’, and was p’raps the most accurate bulletin ever published in the Philippines!… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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6 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

6 responses to “…Oh, the weather outside is… is…is… is what???!!!

  1. Boom. I like that. You would love Joss Wheden movies and TV–he kills lead characters with glee. His followers wear t-shirts that say “Guns don’t kill people, Joss Wheden kills people.” That’s a frustrating element of American TV–they won’t kill characters, usually. It’s why I stopped watching American spy shows after watching the British show “Spooks,” which is a terrific bloodbath. Knowing that the main and most popular characters could and probably will die at any moment leads a power to the drama. I know you were writing about comedy, but hey, it was worth noting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • … no intention of pimping my own books, but I kinda follow that idiom a bit… the heroes and the tough good guys can still get smacked… that’s what real life is all about…..:):) cheers, that man 🙂

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  2. Well, the weather has been like that here for while too…There’s nothing worse that something that’s supposedly suspenseful that is predictable or it fizzles down to nothing…

    Liked by 1 person

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