…it’s that last-gasp ‘Rushing-To-Nowhere’ Syndrome, beloved of airline passengers…

turn off

…if yeez are inclined to study animal behaviour, I guarantee yeez’ll find no more fascinating creatures to observe than yer common-or-garden species of Shooman Being… particularly if yeez delve into the sub-species of ‘Travelling-Persons’, and even more specifically, the sub-sub-species, ‘Airline-Haunting-Traveller’ variety… these wanderers may arrive at the departure airport anywhere from six hours prior, to three minutes before, the scheduled flight take-off, and the bulk of that time is spent chattering on a mobile phone… let me overwhelm yeez with additional taxonomic ‘subbing’, the sub-sub-sub-species, the ‘I’m-So-Feckin-Important-And-Perpetually-Busy’ genus of voyager…

phone running

…airport First Class and Business Class lounges for those of yeez who ever merit entry to them is a wilderness which seems to breed this latter species… yeez can’t mistake them… sum’times they converse on one, or worse still, two bluudy cellphones simultaneously with counter parties they prob’ly said ‘goodbye’ to not more than forty minutes ago… and volume control, in what is supposedly a  privileged, relaxing and quiet zone, consists only of two levels—loud, and uber-loud…  many and varied gesticulations accompany this assorted cacophony, and if yeez are really lucky yeez might catch up to half a dozen of these creatures competing for air space (on the ground, that is)… switch forward to the next phase of the ‘trip’… once boarded, there’s generally about fifteen to twenty-five minutes before the pinched-nasal intercom announcement that’s sum’times intelligible, but oft-times a hotch-potch of vowels and gasps… sum’where in that, yeez are exhorted to ‘switch off yer electronic devices, including yer mobile phones, otherwise the plane will crash’… or WURDS to that effect… this is when our sub-sub-sub-species comes into its own…

plane phones

…rapid fire verbiage rattles around the cabins, as the last precious seconds of speaking time’ disappears (no listening time’, yeez’ll note)… the flight takes off, flies to its destination, and if ye’re still lucky, lands at the other end… part two of the madness begins… after yer plane has taxi-ed to its final halting place, out come the Nokia and Sony and Motorola machines… couple this with the urge to rush to stand up, retrieve hand luggage (and by the way, some of these fellas must have ginormous hands, given the tonnage that they carry on), then remain standing for anything up to ten minutes until the doors are opened, in a desperate effort to be first off the aircraft… it’s that last-gasp ‘Rushing-To-Nowhere’ Syndrome, beloved of airline passengers... yeez think I’m joking with this stuff?… I witnessed it all again this morning on a flight from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi, which mercifully, takes less than an hour… a less-than-sixty-minute stretch which yeez just know, has the sub-sub-sub-species dying inside… there’s a fortune waiting for whoever finds a medical cure for this condition… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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8 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

8 responses to “…it’s that last-gasp ‘Rushing-To-Nowhere’ Syndrome, beloved of airline passengers…

  1. Seumas, you left us with a hailarious yet morbid picture in our minds. 😀 I’d rather be beaten with a stick than try to be the first off a plane. I sit until almost everyone else has made the mad dash. Some people I’ve seen wear the phones on a bag around their neck. Too bad they hadn’t been born with one attached. 🙂 Perhaps there’ll be surgery in future to insert one in people with a cord leading to their ear. Problem solved.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ,,,one wonders what the WURLD did, with all the down time before these contraptions were birthed… BTW m’Lady, I infer that you are present on these internet waves in various alibis… which is your preferred name with which to address you… ?

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      • Suzanne Joshi is my real name. My first name is really Paulesta, a combination of my dad’s name, Paul, and my mother’s name Esther. I don’t use it unless I sign a check, or other times my full name is required. I was a bit worried to use my real full name on the internet at first so took a pen name, but I read an article that said if someone wants to know your real name badly enough, they’ll find it out sooner or later. I’ve had a few people call me Susan, but I’m more at home with Suzanne. Joshi is my married surname. My maiden surname was Armstrong. And there you have it. 🙂

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    • ..what a captivating reply, m’Lady, Suzanne… Suzanne it is .. and Suzanne it shall be… ‘Armstrong ‘ has roots also in Scotland, if I’m not mistaken ..:):)

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      • It probably does. I heard one time that the Armstrongs used to trade in horses back and forth over the border between Scotland and England. I also heard that the name originated when a member of the king’s army reached down and saved the king who had been dehorsed. He was considered “strong-armed”, thus the beginning of Armstrong. The story didn’t say if it was a Scottish king or an English king. 🙂

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  2. LOL Seumas, you’ve just reminded me of one advantage in being retired.
    My colleagues were forever moaning at me for switching off my mobile four hours before my vacation flights and not switching it back on until I returned off vacation, reached my office and downed my first office made coffee 😀
    My reasoning was – Why phone me when I’m 3500 miles away?
    I’m not coming back especially to clean your disorganized bottoms!
    (My Bosses knew me too well to say a word)
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

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