…’tis the Season to be wellied…Tra-la-la-la-la—La-la-la-la…hic!…

wino

…the human creature is an animal of many habits… none of which habits is more baffling than the ritual behaviour that descends on so many of its breed around the last two weeks of the year and the first week of the ensuing year… for those souls brave enuff to incur the wrath of the politically correct brigade, this three-week stretch covers what is known in many quarters as Christmas and the New Year… in this ol’ Jurassic’s earlier life, as a child it meant expectation of presents from the wonderfully believable Santa Claus for the Christmas part, and then watching my elders get p*shed out of their brains for the New Year part of it… in Scotland, Hogmanay is the term for New Year’s Eve… despite what the dictionary may indicate, ‘Hogmanay’ really means ‘eating tartan-patterned-tin-loads of shortbread biscuits and mountains of cherry fruit cake slices, and throwing gallons of strong waters down yer throat along with it while others tell yeez ‘get it down yeez—do yeez good’… this would be followed usually a few hours later by disgorging the entire intake in order to ‘get it up–it’ll do yeez good’, leading me to wonder why yeez would throw it down yer throat in the first place…

drinks

…however, as time went on, and Master Gallacher progressed from childhood to ‘able-to-get-wellied-like-a-good-’un-hood’, even stranger rituals appeared… office party gatherings in local hostelries brought out the ‘once-a year-drinkies’ people…

girl drunk

…yeez could always spot them a fancy-cocktail-glass away… the orders were a dead giveaway… ‘a-half-pint-of-Guinness-and-cherryade, please’, or the obligatory ‘a-Creme-de-Menthe-with-a-slice-of-banana, barkeep’… the trying-to-sound-like-a-knowledgeable-wine-connoisseur gambit, ‘two flutes of Chateauneuf-de-Cardboard-Box, if yeez please, landlord’… better still, the bombastic, ‘a double Glenmorangie Single Malt Scotch on the rocks, please—and make that with ice’…or smart a*se, ‘a single Glenmorangie Double Malt Scotch, but I only want to pay once’… oh, how we’d larff at that particular wag… and did I myself ever indulge in any of that nonsense?… well.. there were times, Mabel, but purely in pursuit of research, yeez understand… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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10 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

10 responses to “…’tis the Season to be wellied…Tra-la-la-la-la—La-la-la-la…hic!…

  1. HAPPY (HIC!) HOLIDAY, Kilt-man!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. 🙂 Happy Holidays Seumas, regardless of any hangovers.

    Liked by 1 person

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