…be warned… yeez cannae shove yer Grannie aff a bus…


…respect starts at a very early age when yeez are Scottish… p’raps it also exists with other nationalities, but indisputable lyrical evidence points to the Caledonian preeminence in this most precious of traits… specifically respect for yer elders… which other country imbeds in its music an inviolable statement protecting that much-loved species—yer Grannie?… it’s one thing to regard the seniors in yer family with the dignity they so admirably deserve… such as permitting them access to yer own children, with licence for both these sub-sets of relatives, the youngest and the eldest, to misbehave uncontrollably beyond the limits normally allowed for yer offspring…

grannie with kids

…such as putting up with their ‘don’t-give-a flying-feck-what-they-think’ cringe-inducing comments when unsuspecting house guests don’t pass their ’sniff-test’… and of course, such as suff’ring the inevitable, ‘it-was-never-like-that-when-we-were-young’ throwaway lines as nailed-on ‘stamps of disapproval’… but the ultimate indication of the exalted ‘untouchables’ designation is reserved for when yeez travel together… some families nowadays journey ensemble in large saloon vehicles, with Grandma invariably parked sum’where in the back seat, squished among the children—what better example of herding all the ‘Unrulys’ in one place?… but in the days of my youth, a gazillion years ago, family day-trips usually meant cheapie tickets together by bus…


…often at summer holiday times, journeying all the massive 20 miles or so from Dockland Govan in Glasgow to the nearest seaside location on the West Coast of Scotland… the Govan Baden-Baden equivalent for the ‘bring-yer-spam-sandwiches-and-Irn-Bru-drinks-for-the-journey’ brigades… the speed of vehicles back then resembled more of a tortoise waddle than a cheetah sprint, and took anything up to three hours to traverse the B-roads to the Coast… the buses transported several families together on this wondrous sortie… and it didn’t take long for the assorted choir aboard to belt out the old faithful numbers, reserved exclusively it seems for these day trips… and Top-Of-The-Charts always came, ‘Ye Cannae Shove Yer Grannie Aff A Bus’… for the uninitiated, translated as, ‘You Cannot Shove Your Grandmother Off A Bus’… (I defy any Scots of a certain age not to sing along with it on the clip below)… ah, them was the days, Mabel, simple pleasures indeed… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

13 responses to “…be warned… yeez cannae shove yer Grannie aff a bus…

  1. I remember the Big Yin talking about a Granny clinging to the rear platform of a bus on one of his tours. One of his funniest annecdotes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “….both these sub-sets of relatives, the youngest and the eldest, to misbehave uncontrollably beyond the limits normally allowed for yer offspring… ” A man after my own heart, Seumas … but don’t warn the kids… I’m enjoying this granny business 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your blog is always entertaining!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m not sure I’d ever heard it before but I’m singing along too!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love it, love it, love it! Laugh of the day, Seumus! Thank you!


  6. Hilarious Seumas. 😀 Being a Yank from the U.S., this was the first time I’d heard it. It’s quite a catchy tune. 🙂


  7. …glad you enjoyed it, m’Lady…:):)


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