…I’ll keep an eye open for yeez…

glasses

…there are people who reach the age of about a hundred and ninety and never ever have the need for assistance for their eyesight … 20/20 vision when they were born, and 20/20 vision forever and ever… this ol’ Jurassic is not one of them… I recall just after my fourth birthday going to the eye-doctor clinic to get government prescription glasses… part of the ocular examination involved putting drops into my eyes and being told to ‘keep them shut for the next twenty minutes’… of course, I promptly disregarded the instruction, believing with all my life’s knowledge to that date that this was a ploy to render me unconscious, preparatory to inflicting Gawd-Only-Knows-What to my peepers… regardless of my squinting through the liquid for the allotted time back then, a pair of wee John Lennon-lookalike specs and their successors adorned my face for the following twenty-five years or so…

boy

…along came the innovation of contact lenses… a marvellous invention for letting yeez see clearly for about three days per week, the other four days spent attempting to get the entrapped dust particles and other debris from under yer eyelids… and try waking up with a Honolulu of a hangover (who? Moi? yes, Mabel, once upon a time) and swallowing a drink from the water glass on yer side table, to realise, too late, that it held yer contact lenses from last night… gulp!…

contacts

…mercifully, the diet of pop-in lenses was taken off the morning menu with the advent of laser treatment surgery… this undertaking, about twenty years ago, was NUTHIN short of miraculous… and from one day to the next, my take on the WURLD around me moved from hardly able to see the back of my hand without man-made assistance, to having the ability unaided to sight a golf ball at two hundred yards distance (okay, relax,Tiger Woods, —I only hit it about 180 yards on a good day, but my playing partners hit theirs 200+)… and one thing I have learned… in the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man gets 50% off at Specsavers… see(!!!) yeez later… LUV YEEZ!
lenses

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10 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

10 responses to “…I’ll keep an eye open for yeez…

  1. LMAO – I wish I could use contact lenses or get the laser treatment, but unfortunately, my myopia is due to twisted optic nerves and light gathering bit at the back of the eyeballs, so it’s tumblers in frames for me 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seumas, you always have a great story to start the morning with a smile…now if you’d kept a proper mai tai by the bed and the contacts by the sink…. oh, and do you have a picture of the tattoo you got before the hangover? Honolulu has some wonderful artists…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m farsighted and my eyes water due to allergies so I just wear glasses, no problem. I do get the lenses without the line however. It’s great that the surgery worked for you. I don’t forget my glasses because I wear them all day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can really identify with this post. I’ve been wearing glasses since age 14. I’ve tried every kind of contact lens because I really didn’t want the responsibility of looking for my glasses all the time (something I do daily) and I thought I’d look cool with the contacts, especially the tinted ones. Alas, I have astigmatism and could never see right with contacts. So now I look for cool frames instead! Great post Seumas!

    Liked by 1 person

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