…of shampoos, hair conditioners and mobile phones…

…I remember with a smile, some years ago, watching an episode of the David Letterman Show… in the course of his monologue he told the audience of his experience that morning in the shower… when he had finished his morning ritual, he realised that he had used the hair conditioner first… then the shampoo


…an absent-minded reversal of the usual process… he finished the monologue by saying… ’and d’yeez know what happened?… NUTHIN!… a bit of that came back to me the other day… generally, I’m a pretty well-organised Jurassic… I follow routines in most of my daily activities… I find it much easier to run my fairly straight-forward life that way… I systematically check things into my pockets on the way out the door when I have external errands or business to do… and reverse the procedure when I return… contents emptied in rote on to a small hall table… imagine then, the sheer panic the other day when having left home, and spent already about an hour in pursuit of my to-do list, the horrendous shock descended upon me… I had forgotten to bring along my mobile phone!!!… the icy claw of I-know-not-what gripped my stomach… I’m sure there may also have been a modicum of fuzziness of the eyesight… and p’raps my entire Blackberry address-book-life flashing in front of me in a nano-second… what to do?… summon a taxi and get home as quickly as possible?… ask a passing bystander if I can use their phone, just to make sure I could still do that?…

mobile phone

…understand, that I’m not actually addicted to my mobile…well, okay, maybe just a wee bit…  alright, alright, alright… ‘fess up time… usually I can’t even go to the washroom without it… it sleeps a coupla inches away from my nose at night time… anyway, the eternity passed and I got back in one piece… a quivering, shaky, one piece, and found the device waiting patiently on the hall table… good phone, good phone, there’s a good phone… a nervous fumbling at the switch revealed all the calls, texts and emails received in the hour of so I had been separated from it… NONE!…bluudy NONE!… are yeez kidding me?… my David Letterman moment had happened …NUTHIN’… did yeez know there’s a thing yeez can buy, where yeez can attach yer mobile phone to a wee pouch and string it round yer wrist?… no?… oh, well… NUTHIN’… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

17 responses to “…of shampoos, hair conditioners and mobile phones…

  1. I certainly identify with the phone incident, Seumas. Unlike you, I don’t put everything in one place and I often can be seen pulling my hair out as I look for my glasses and my phone. Since I usually keep my phone on vibrate so the ring doesn’t interrupt whatever I’m working on, my husband can’t use his cell phone to call me so we can find the darn thing. I feel absolutely lost without it – my line to the world has been cut off, I can’t function, and, of course, spend the entire time away worrying about where I might have put it. Since I am on the go much of the time, I do a lot of things in a day on my phone, including actually talking to a real being! Thanks for the post. Made my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seumas, Here there are bags that can be hung around your neck. I’ve never done it as I don’t like to have something with any weight haning on my neck. I just carry it my purse. Of course if it rings then I have to dig for it. 🙂 —Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah – the mobile phone detachment syndrome. One wonders if you have fully recovered from the pain of dislocation yet? Oh to be a fly on th wall when next you leave… check everything thrice before leaving?
    Thank you – I appreciated the humour and the wonderfully painted picture 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This made me literally laugh out loud – mostly because I have had this happen – although, confession time, I have driven back to get my phone because well, you just never know. When is the next MPA (mobile phone anonymous) meeting?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tess Frost

    Wot d’ya use yer sporran fer then????

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, seems I’m much more of a Jurassic than you are, Seumas, because I don’t even have a smart phone! I have a plain old cell phone, but I never turn it on unless I want to make a call on it, such as to call a taxi when I’m not at home! So there! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fully three-quarters of the time I have no earthly idea where my mobile phone is. Usually when I do find it, the battery is depleted. I daresay I receive and make fewer than 3 calls a month on the blasted thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Cate Russell-Cole

    My phone is my watch, alarm clock and mobile notepad. I can’t leave home without it, either.

    Liked by 1 person

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