…I am to technological devices what square wheels are to a bicycle…

…if there were an Olympics candidate for ‘The-Totally-Challenged-With-Any-Kind-Of-Electronic-Gadget’, then I’m yer huckleberry… it’s a talent I became aware of at any early age… witness the initial Master Gallacher attempt to drill a hole in a kitchen wall with one of these impressive weapons, a small, but weighty, electric pneumatic-drill-lookalike thing…

drill

…the first push at the plaster on the wall was simple enuff, then a kinda obstruction seemed to push back against the ‘bit’ (technical term, there, Mabel…it’s the pointy end of the drill)… undaunted, the non-carpenteric genius in me shoved even harder with the tool… a screeching sound keened from the wall, followed immediately by an explosion… yes… an explosion… it appears that it’s not a clever idea to drill into the metal jacket protecting live electric wires hidden in any wall, kitchen or otherwise… plaster sprayed everywhere… the end of the drill was bent, burnt, blackened, blasted completely out of commission… I may have said something like, ‘oops, how unfortunate’… the wife of that time uttered something a tad more forceful (the divorce was not long afterward, and I’ve no notion as to how much the kitchen deconstruction had to do with it)… of course, the unreasonable action of the wall in not cooperating in this reinvention of sandblasting resulted in my downing tool (singular)… never to pick up again in the ensuing forty years… the anathema that these devices display toward me is quite incomprehensible, and stretches to other-things-of-the-devil, like computers, mobile phones and their breed… it takes me around three years (give or take another five years) to figure out how to do the difficult stuff such as make a forwarding call on a mobile, or text a group of people simultaneously…

phone

…but at least the Blackberry hasn’t exploded… yet… but then, when the need arises to swap in for the next improved model… it confounds the heck out of me, if there’s sum’thing like a succession of ten improvements in a particular model or product over a span of less than four years, how bad must the model or product have been in the first place?… answers please by text… I’ve WURKED that one out for now… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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12 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

12 responses to “…I am to technological devices what square wheels are to a bicycle…

  1. Shockingly Hair Raising stuff Seumas 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah… me too! We are the technologically challenged! And my hubby is much like you whe it comes to diy. There are a lot of things collapsing and exploding around our house lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I so hear you about phones. And then, if you’re not careful, they try to help by unilaterally doing things for you which they think will help – like importing all your facebook friends to your phone numbers list. An action on the part of my Samsung phone which has NOT helped. AT ALL.

    I remember the first Christmas/New Year of my marriage. We had my in-laws staying. McOther and Dad in law thought it would be a good idea to do some DIY jobs around the house. These two are engineers which, I suppose, is why they decided that mending the creaky steps on the stairs was more important than a hundred and one other bits of stuff – like fixing the bathroom taps and the washer in the shower that really NEEDED doing. A few moments in there was a hissing sound and a lot of pink water started to pour through the kitchen ceiling. They’d made a hole in the heating system. On New Year’s day. Amazingly, we managed to find a plumber but Mum in-law and I certainly bonded over that as she, too, was perplexed as to why a creaky floorboard was deemed more important than a permanently running shower (we’d had to turn off the supply under the floor). Still at least the plumber fixed that too.

    Cheers

    MTMM

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been electrocuted a few times Seumas, so I can feel your pain as it were. 🙂 Although I’m not averse to handling any equipment, *that’ll be enough from that man in the back row* I have a sorry list of faux pas involving dropping mobile phones and running over them with my tractor.

    Like

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