…when is an Iconic Author not an Iconic Author?… when he’s being a scaredy-cat sissy at the dentist…

…they breed ‘em tough where I come from in Docklands Govan in Glasgow… a hard crew, not to be meddled with lightly… sculpted and hewn by centuries of aggression we are… except when it comes to the dentist… ‘fess up time… if had to choose between walking across molten coals barefoot, or a session in that reclining ‘yeez-won’t-feel-a-thing’ lounger, give me the former every time… after six-plus decades, ‘decayed’ is the operative WURD for some of my chomping gear… for over half a century, this ol’ Jurassic has plied himself assiduously to undermining his natural dental apparatus by an unending ration of chocolate (who hasn’t?), ice-cream (but only by the bucket-load, mind) and all manners of edible stuff, non-conducive to healthy molars… little wonder then, that the infrequent sojourns to the gob-driller fill me with trepidation, bordering on outright anticipated terror… this bold Iconic Author the Nobel Literary Prize Panel has grown to LUV and ignore transmorphs into the biggest wuss on the planet… the dilemma develops when the bluudy toothache overrides the anxiety of the impending visit to the clinic… choice to make… suffer.. or suffer… yeez have to make tough calls in life sum’times… so, yesterday, this excuse for a transformed Braveheart fronted up to my dental pal, a genial bloke in his civvies, Dr Mark Partridge of the British Dental Clinic here in Abu Dhabi

dentist extracting patients tooth

…when he started talking dirty to me, i.e ‘root canal’, ‘anaesthetic shots’, ‘impacted wisdom tooth’, I was jelly in his chair… okay… ticked off the life insurance coverage (does it cover ‘being a lily-backed coward’?), invoked the divine intercession of umpteen different prayer Gods, and pleaded with the good Doc Partridge to ‘be gentle with me’… and behold and lo, d’yeez know what?… the man was terrific… how often do yeez hear that said about a dentist?… I don’t know about ‘bedside manner’, but his ‘dental-chairside manner’ is magnificent… he talked me through every bit of what was going on… for the first time in that horizontal-gazing-at-the-surgical-dentist’s-light position, I actually felt comfortable… I will not lie and say it was enjoyable, but the experience was absent the usual knuckle-tensed gripping of the lounger… it was all over in an hour… and it only felt like 60 minutes… well done, hats off, and fillings off, to Dr Mark Partridge… this was not intended as a ‘puff piece’ for he and his practice, but what the hell… for what the guy did not put me through, here’s where yeez’ll find him, if ever yeez are here in Abu Dhabi Kamel Kuntry and need a place to get yer ‘wallies’ fixed:

Doctor Mark Partridge:  http://www.britishdentalclinic.ae


…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

19 responses to “…when is an Iconic Author not an Iconic Author?… when he’s being a scaredy-cat sissy at the dentist…

  1. Gary

    i see the Dentist is a Brummie – so many gentle souls from that area and yet are often so underrated due to a speech impediment called a “Black Country” accent, or “yammers” to the uninitiated….”Yam alrightt maaate?” being the most pleasant of phrases. In your case Seumas, yam were good, bostin arhh.


  2. McOther is also a weedgie and he, too is jelly in the dentist’s chair. Perhaps there’s a tradition of scary dentists in Glasgow or something.



    Liked by 1 person

    • …you may have hit a nerve there, Ms McGuire…but watch out for the appearance in my next novel, KILLER CITY, where a gentleman of the dentistry persuasion gets involved in some not-so-delicate work on unwilling ‘patients’,,, cheeeers, m’lady 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The British Dental Clinic (Hamdan street?) seem to get the best dentists – one of his predecessors, a tall thin Scots dentist, was like that as well when I had to have my fangs fixed way back in 1996 to 2002.
    Happy chomping Seumas 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. laurie27wsmith

    All I can say about dentists is this Seumas, ‘Marathon Man.’

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Observations of Life seen through autistic eyes by Andy Smith and commented:
    Sums up how many of us feel about going to the dentist!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Ah dentists… I trained as a Dental Nurse and still scared the what not out of me.. they are talking implants now… I am with you Seumas and may need to make a trip to Abu Dhabi to see your magic man.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t know why anyone would want to be a dentist except for the buckets of money they make. Nobody likes them.
    I have to say you’ve found the right dentist for your teeth. Good on your last visit.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ah, if all he best dentists now reside in Abu Dhabi or all points East no wonder we’re scared by those left behind.

    Liked by 2 people

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