…yeez’ll have to call me back later, there’s not enuff people listening to me yet…

…one of the oldest computer and communications gadgetry Jurassics I may well be (I do a lap of honour every time my Mac lights up when I click on it), but there’s other folks who take it all a bit too far… today I made a short flight on business, which meant about an hour’s wait in the airport lounge… it was modestly busy, and the breakfast fare (free) was edible… I got the internet password from the lounge receptionist and began to get updated on my day’s SOSYAL NETWURKIN stuff… then in walked THE MAN

phone

…yeez’ve all seen him… and what’s more, yeez’ve all heard him… not just a mobile phone, but one of those weird contraptions where the bit sticks in yer ear lobe, and a wee aerial makes it look as if yer brain’s taking in satellite signals… the end he talked into was like a one-inch-diametered black leech on the side of his face… strapped there like a telephone operator’s apparatus… now, whoever the poor b*stard was listening to his diatribe at the other end of the link, (decidedly more of a monologue than a dialogue) received, at a minimum, two dozen instructions from MISTER IMPORTANT… all in the space of ten minutes… the rest of the other fifteen or so of we transient occupants of the lounge were not spared from overhearing the ‘eloquence’ (new definition of ‘eloquence’=‘bullsh*t’) spilling out… in that wonderful kinship that instantaneously develops among those of us too polite to tell MOTORMOUTH to shut the feck up, the knowing glances at each other with the eyebrow raised ceilingward spoke silent volumes which became the morning’s entertainment… this new Lord of the Airwaves, rabbited on and on and on… we were treated to an aural barrage, as the topics switched from supposedly big business matters, to more personal deals the man seemed to be involved in… the repeated dropping of the words, ‘millions’, and ‘hundreds of thousands’ caused stifled smirks from his unknown-to-him,-by-now-enraptured-audience… it took me back almost thirty years to Hong Kong… when mobile phones were the latest ‘must-have’ phenomenon… back then the mobile contraption was the size of a small house-brick, and the louder the conversation, the more impressive the user thought himself or herself… I often imagined in those days part of the poser’s conversation might have been, ‘yeez’ll have to call me back later, there’s not enuff people listening to me yet’that’s where I must have seen MISTER PONTIFICANT before… deja vu all over again, Mabel… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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18 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

18 responses to “…yeez’ll have to call me back later, there’s not enuff people listening to me yet…

  1. Don’t we all simply love the entertainment (not) at any tyime of the day or night. I always wish this giant hand woud materialise from wherever the mouthpiece is, grab him or her by the throat and slowly squeeze them back through their earwig….. its a beautiful thought and brings a smile to the bedeviled look on my face. (sigh – I can but live in hope 🙂 .)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a different type of person but similar experience in the reception area of A&E last week. Somebody (a woman this time) received a phone call and replied so loudly that all those there got to know all the details of her life. To the point where the receptionist ask that people keep their voices down, and all the rest of us nodded, but of course, she was talking too loudly to hear it…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LOL I can remember when the first mobile phones came to Abu Dhabi
    As I walked through the Old Souk, a phone started ringing and everyone stopped and looked around trying to figure out where it was.
    A Pakistani ferkled around the folds of his loosely wrapped headdress, withdrew his new half brick size mobile, held it up for everyone to see, then put it to his ear and walked away while repeatedly saying ‘Allo? to a still ringing phone 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for the Monday laugh, Sir…I truly needed it today!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Does anyone remember the bloke with the giant phone out of Trigger Happy TV? It was always the Nokia ringtone and then it’d be…

    “HELLO!”
    ….
    “I’M AT THEATRE!”
    ….
    “NO IT’S SHIT!”

    or the like. It really used to make McOther and I laugh.

    Cheers

    MTM

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Some people speak that loud on them I wonder why they need the phone to begin with. I remember those brick phones. Saw a bloke with one getting out of his work ute. By the time he unclipped it from the console, unwound the cable from the handset to the brick, pulled out the antenna and made a call he could have used the public phone outside the guard house. 🙂 We were all mightily impressed though.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You haven’t experienced the women in the public bathrooms gossiping loudly while others go about their business. I often wonder what the person on the other end of the phone thinks with all the flushing toilets! Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Cate Russell-Cole

    I have seen/heard/suffered people doing that from hospital emergency rooms: barking orders like a Major General then switching off the phone and becoming so passive – with those they had to suck up to to get the best care. Leaves me breathless and NOT liable to start applauding.

    Liked by 1 person

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