…seems like I still have the capacity to get into trouble… I’m glad to say… #TBSU…

‘act yer age’ is a term I just can’t accept… my Comedic God, Billy Connolly waxes lyrical about his own rebellion against the idea… and to quote from the Big Yin himself, recently I turned 60 years old… even more recently I turned 65… and now, well… the kind of bother that magnetised itself toward me through infancy and early youth never resulted in gaol time… back then, justice and punishment went hand in hand with proximity to parents… and more precisely was doled out liberally from the hands of parents… sum’times, merely the nearest parent, whether he or she was yer own or not… mostly we kids got into ‘scrapes’, got up to harmless ‘mischief’… seldom requiring more than the presence of the local street policeman, whom everybody in the district knew by name, and for we children, more known by nickname…

bobby

 

 

…ours was ‘Ginger Malky’, coz he had red hair… behold and lo, if yeez ever got a ticking off from Ginger Malky and yer Da got to hear about it…yeez would cop another censure, generally accompanied by a few belts on the backside… so with all that history of discipline, yeez might think that sumb’dy like me would be incapable of incurring the wrath of authority of any sort these days… well, yeez would be sorely mistaken, as today’s events have proved… an innocent enuff saunter to the local shopping mall… a casual stroll through the mall’s wide spaces, and right up to my feet arrives a football… directed there, or more correctly, mis-directed there from a wee boy, hardly older than four years old… I demonstrated the soccer skills that made me a legend in my own changing room about a hundred years ago by passing it deftly back toward this budding Cristiano Ronaldo… he promptly whacked it with a beaut of a left foot, straight back to me… I passed it back again, and this happened a coupla times…

fitba

…before yeez could say ‘World Cup’, a posse of kids were streaming around me, kicking that ball all over the place, but generally in my direction… I was having a blast… a blast, I tell yeez… about half a dozen tiny, shrieking, squealing Wayne-Rooney-wannabees laughing and having fun in the middle of the shopping mall… and then it happened… the long arm of the law… or more like the short brain of the law, in the guise of a Security Guard intervened and picked the ball up… he handed it to me (it wasn’t even my ball!), and said ball games weren’t allowed and that really I should know better… it took all of my considerable constraint not to belt the guy in the teeth… but, of course he was right… b*gger that !… I handed the offending ball back to my Lilliputian-sized new buddies and told them the referee had given me the proverbial red card… I don’t know who was more disappointed— the kids or me… at least I left feeling good about knowing that it seems like I still have the capacity to get into trouble… see yeez at Wembley Stadium later… LUV YEEZ!

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14 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

14 responses to “…seems like I still have the capacity to get into trouble… I’m glad to say… #TBSU…

  1. I liked your post. It’s very humoring and funny. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cate Russell-Cole

    Well that was a buzz kill! Life is oh, so deadly beige for some, isn’t it?
    Missed ya…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The short brain of the law LUV IT! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Seumas, this reminds me of that very ancient song Fitba’ Crazy. Remember it? ‘In the middle of the field at Hampden Park the manager said: McGrath – if ye dinnae take that penalty kick, we’ll never win at a’.’ Now substituting Gallacher for McGrath.

    Like

  5. Extra beige indeed. Next time I think we should organise a full musical number in the mall, or the Olympic mall games

    Liked by 1 person

  6. At least you didn’t bite him Seumas. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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