…hook, line and sinker… my twelve-minute career as a fisherman… #TBSU…

..there are many vocations and professions that I’ve aspired to follow during my time on this planet, but there’s an absolute standout not-suited-for-the-job slot … that of a fisherman… I don’t mean the banging-out-onto-torrid-oceans type of fisherman, hauling in tons o’ silver-finned darlin’s, yeez understand… heck, no… I get seasick just looking at watercolours hanging in the Art Gallery… the kind of fishing I refer to is the land-based, fishing-line or rod-in-hand from a tranquil riverbank sort of fishing… ‘angling’ to some… ‘fishing’ to most, where I come from… apparently it is by far and away the most popular sport in the United Kingdom… when this ol’ Jurassic was about nine years young, an older cousin was tasked with ‘looking after the boy’ for a day… a day when the said relative decided to take me with him on a fishing expedition… p’raps he had thoughts that I might double as decent fish bait, who knows… as all intrepid Docklands Govan fisher folks do, we jumped on a public transport bus and rode to a water reservoir on the outskirts of Glasgow… I doubt if it has featured in National Geographic’s Ten Best Fishing Spots programme… I watched in fascination as he unrolled a reel of green twine, attached a wee lead weight, and then a spiky-looking hook, attached to which was the biggest bluudy earthworm I have ever seen… with great aplomb, he lasso-twirled the thing around his head a couple of times and cast it with a satisfying  splash into the water…

…after half an hour he already had about four fish beside him on the grass… he asked me, ‘do yeez wanna try?’ … my half-non-committal grunt was taken as a ‘yes’… he unfurled about ten yards of the green string, quickly had a weight, hook, and the brother of the Loch Ness Monster wriggling on the end and handed the lot to me, ‘okay, there yeez go’… I stood up, tried to emulate his Roy Rogers technique and hurled it as far as I could toward the water… the splash was exhilarating…until I saw him staring at me… ’where’s yer end of the line?’… nobody told me yeez had to hang on to one end… so, there began and ended, hook, line and sinker… my twelve-minute career as a fisherman… funny, I’ve never been fond of fish since then… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…

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