…a timely re-run on how to deal with internet Trolls… #TBSU…

…seen a few incidences lately on the re-emergence of the Trolls scourge… I did this piece in December 2012…

IF TROLLS ATTACK YER BLOG, CONFOUND THEM BY LUVVIN’ THE HELL OUT OF THEM… 

…it won’t have escaped yer notice, Mabel, that I hail from Govan in Glasgow…an area not noted for its gracious handling of dispute…not for us from the Docklands area the niceties of gentle persuasion to settle conflict…the famous ‘Glasgow Kiss’... the abrupt coming together of a head butt from the giver’s skull  and the recipients’s nose-bridge area  is well-documented…the adage is, ‘why take months in court, when a swift smack on the mouth renders summary justice more effectively?’…hence, my text today from the Master Gallacher Sunday Pulpit may seem a tad incongruous…HOW TO DEAL WITH TROLLS...if you are on the web for any length of time, sooner or later one of these creatures may surface…no-one has figured out yet any sane reason for them to be alive, other than to cause maximum (and often disgusting) discomfort or outrage to decent people…I was on the receiving end of one such message recently, and my Govan urge boiled up as my instant reaction...I’d rip the bast*ard’s throat out if he/she were in front of me…then, the epiphany landed…the Govan urge is PRECISELY what these vermin want to provoke…what better response then, but to perplex them by doing exactly the opposite?…I replied in the nicest of terms (no, truly, Mabel, I promise you, I did…), wishing them all of the very best things that they could ever wish for themselves…then, I blocked them, so that particular moron’s evil proddings will not bother me again…so there you have it, react by blocking the Troll immediately if you wish, but bouncing back totally in a manner they wouldn’t expect is much more satisfying… and then block them…now, if that particular Troll should ever cross my path in person, revert to the opening of this blog for instruction! …LUV YEEZ …

 

9 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

9 responses to “…a timely re-run on how to deal with internet Trolls… #TBSU…

  1. Just before you render the b***tard trolls unconscious with a well placed Glasgow Kiss, would you do me a favour Seumas. Just ask them what perverted pleasure they get from doing what they do? Surely if they’re that anxious to write they could just create their own blogs. Then go ahead (pun intended) and make sure they’ll remember you in future.

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  2. HAH – I transfer their rambling rants into my Spam bin to simmer for a few hours and let the anti-spam program register them, then, before I sign off for the day, clean out the bin – any future remarks from them usually goes straight to the bin where I don’t have to soil my big brown (with a tinge of evil red around the rims) eyes reading them again LOL 😀

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  3. ….LUV IT! a TROLL bin! 🙂

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  4. Send the lads around to show them the error of their ways. 😉

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