…altogether now, sing… ‘Take These Chains…’ …#TBSU…

NUTHIN should ever surprise yeez these days with stuff that just appears on yer various timelines on the Web… from the weird and wonderful to the downright plain baffling… I’m not talking about the eternal beneficence demonstrated by an endless stream of Nigerian Generals’ widows willing to send yeez squillions of moolah for the simple exchange of yer bank account details… nor the constant barrage of aids to enhance yer ‘manhood’ (whoever even thinks that quill-scrapers have the time for libido?)… making yeez the magnet for every sex-starved nymphomaniac on the planet (aye, right!)… forget, too, the endless supply of Lonely Hearts associations who have nought better to do with their time but to match yeez up with the partner yeez have craved all yer lives… (speaking for myself, a packet of chocolate biscuits and a decent football match on television fills the bill admirably most of the time, thank you)… yeez have to wonder where do all these people get a hold of yer contact details?… it’s difficult enuff sum’times for me just to find sumb’dy’s email address…. and yet, dozens… nay, hundreds, of pedlars of all things bright and beautiful fill up my email inbox with ‘too-good-to-miss’ opportunities… and yeez have to confess, some of it is too attractive to pass up on… take today’s gem, fr’example… from the depths of the internet sum’where in China comes the offer of ‘Chains’… p’raps sum’thing’s being lost in translation, but nowhere in the message does it indicate the type of bargain chains I’m currently missing out on… gold necklets, maybe, studded with diamonds and crushed emeralds?… linkage to secure ocean-going liners to sundry docksides around the planet?… or, are we back into the kinda chains that may attend some of the bedroom activity alluded to in the boudoir-setting offerings above?… answers please on a pair of silver handcuffs, sent to the usual email address… yeez don’t know my email address?… well, seemingly yeez must be the only ones on Earth who don’t… I suggest yeez get in touch with that chains lad in Shanghai, he’s got it… see yeez later…

9 Comments

Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

9 responses to “…altogether now, sing… ‘Take These Chains…’ …#TBSU…

  1. I also get these declarations of undying love from the most delicious young ladies (and men), normally seen leaving a top rate Plastic Surgeon’s premises, or generous offers of wealth untold (and possibly in unmarked small denomination banknotes from various national reserves), on Facebook or my blog email too Seumas and you’ve seen MY profile photo LOL 😀

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  2. …so, a payday or extraordinary proportions is obviously just around the corner!! :)))

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  3. You never fail to make me smile! Yourself and the Ape should start a double act! Luv ya x

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  4. That Nigerian princess must be a very rich woman by now if she cons even 1% of the hits she makes. I get sick of George Clooney look-alikes being flung at me too. I don’t even like George Clooney.

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