…footballer Wayne Rooney revises the definition of ‘Long Term’… there’s hope for all of us… isn’t there?… #TBSU…


…this ol’ Jurassic has never been short of ambition… as a 7-year old at infant primary school, the then ‘Long-Term’ aspirations of being the best milk monitor handing out the government cow-juice freebies in class resulted in a fine, hand-written certificate from the teacher… at 12 years, being press-ganged into the school orchestra resulted in having to carry a viola-case to school and back every Wednesday… ‘Long-Term’ ambition in that respect merely focussed on avoiding contact on the way there and back with the local thuggery in Docklands Govan, who felt musical instrument case-carrying was a bit ‘non-Govan’… thence at 15 years, thrust into the rarified, thinly-oxygenised atmosphere of a banking career, where successive ‘Long-Term’ objectives principally included not getting fired for looking too scruffy… and so it went on for a series of decades… salvation in the guise of immersion in the self-publishing ‘Dancing-with-Wolves’ whirl has taken over for the last 5 years… but ‘Long-Term’ targets still feature even at this, my third-, maybe even fourth-childhood phase… comes now the beaming light showing the way forward… one of my admitted footballing heroes, Wayne Rooney of Manchester United and England (I know, I know, I’m Scottish, Mabel… but the guy is talented) has today announced a ‘Long-Term’ contract for Sterling 300,000 (US$ 480,000) per week until 2019… so, there’s the revised Holy Grail of ‘Long-Term’ for all of we quill-scrapers… yeez adjust yer ‘Long-Term’ time horizon to five years hence… none of yer 20-25-30 year stretches any more… and the earnings bit is the clincher… 300,000 quid every week... I recommend all we indie scribblers immediately petition Amazon Kindle… tell them they must raise their game… cut out the freebies giveaways… stop the discounted Amazon Countdown nonsense… pitch the minimum price for each book around US$ 5,000 a pop… sell gazillions of yer masterpieces… emb’dy see any flaws in that plan?… Wha???  No??? Yes??? gotta go, Matron’s hurrying over here with that bluudy syringe … see yeez later at the bank… here’s my revised to US$ 5,000 a copy titles… fill yer boots:-

wall copy 2


Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

8 responses to “…footballer Wayne Rooney revises the definition of ‘Long Term’… there’s hope for all of us… isn’t there?… #TBSU…

  1. Lordy! I’m completely gobsmacked.




  2. About how much Rooney earns, I mean. I’m not sure your cunning book pricing ruse will work. More’s the pity.


  3. I seem to remember the aforesaid Mr Rooney making a long term commitment to Everton, a club he’d never leave and has recently been looking at the transfer market too, a move to Chelsea was mooted I think. Looks like long term may only be as long as a better offer doesn’t come along.
    Have a Great Weekend Seumas.


  4. Maybe the whole weekly bit should figure in. Maybe that’s the real clincher. How about $5000 per book and an additional say $50 a week thereafter for the pleasure of reading your awesome thriller’s again and again and again? What say you?


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