…the next in the series of ‘WhateverNess’ tests… intended to weed out the computer numpties from the rest of we experts at it (a-hem)…it’s multiple choice, so yeez can enjoy being wrong many times over… have a go…
1. What happens when yeez switch on yer laptop?
a. If it lights up, yeez do a lap of honour
b. All the street lights in yer district go out
c. NUTHIN, but yer electric blinds start going up and down and yer television goes blank
d. Yeez have to call yer 6-year old grandson to have him explain what to hit next to get the page yeez want to start on
2. What’s a BetaMax?
a. A superior burger offering from Mcdonalds
b. Yer current equipment for watching movies at home (what? they’ve got colour films now?)
c. An obscure algebraic term for getting the most out of yer computer thingy
d. A top-of-the-line raincoat
3. Who was Steve Jobs?
a. First President of the Republic of Silicon Valley
b. That helpful guy down at the Labour Exchange Centre
c. An orchard mogul
d. Who? Steve Who?
4. Who do yeez call when yer laptop won’t work?
a. God (sometimes known as ‘please! God!’)
b. Yer Life Science psychiatrist
c. The local garage and yeez tell them yeez think it’s got a puncture
d. The laptop dealer and get them to send a ‘fresh’ one
5. What’s YouTube?
a. Yer personal metro subway system route
b. The wee cardboard roll that’s left when the toilet paper’s done
c. Something that makes loud noises from yer kid’s room
d. A means of getting to play all the music from yer youth 90 years ago
Answers please on a used printout (whatever that is)…