… I’ve seen Al Pacino in the Godfather trilogy, arguably the Mother of All Mafia-style movies, ever… admired De Niro in his various hard-man roles… been dazzled with a five-decade string of Jimmy Bond, Dubble-Oh-Slur films… and it occurs to me, that I’ve never seen any of them in scenes that most of we mere mortals have to endure… case in point, triggered by a Facebook item I read earlier (I’m still in the ostracizing jail of these nice people by the way) …it instantly brought back a deluge of mem’ries… the blood-pressue-upward inducing episodes that play out daily at yer nearest supermarket checkout lines… ye’re in a hurry and pop yer three, maybe four items at most into the wee plastic hand-basket, the one with the awkward carrying handles… and make a beeline for the till checkout lady at the end exit row… ye can’t miss it… above it, hangs a billboard-size notice in WURDS that even Blind Pugh could read, ‘TEN ITEMS OR LESS—AND CASH ONLY’… the bloke in front starts to empty his lot onto the sliding conveyor thingy… the checkout lady starts to ring up the items,…Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching!... when the Ka-Ching! Kount reaches about FIFTEEN bluudy items, the hand-basket resembles a conjurer’s box… the items keep appearing… my Govan Docklands sense of right and wrong can’t be contained … I ask the fellow in disgust… ‘so, which is it?… ye can’t read?.. or ye can’t count?’… he stiffens up, opens his hands and says (get this!), ‘well, ye know, I’m in a hurry’ …  THIS is when the fight usually starts… to the unrestrained delight of the rest of the 10-or-less brigade in the queue behind me, I launch into one of my,  ‘Oh, ye’re in hurry? well that’s okay, coz I’ve got my whole feckin life to wait here at the bluudy FAST checkout queue, waiting to teach numpties like you how to read and count’ tirades… fluster, fluster, fluster from Mister Can’t-Read-Or-Count… he makes to pay… WITH A BLUUDY CREDIT CARD!...  he hasn’t got a red cent on him! … and of course, the card limit has long been exhausted  and gets rejected… the ensuing passage requires an editorial swift drawing across with a curtain… so, next time ye see Al Pacino, or Bob De Niro ambling toward the Quick Checkout at yer local Supermarket, have a look… this ol’ Jurassic’ll be right there alongside them… you talkin’ to me???…