September 27, 2012 · 6:33 pm
All of you wonderful people whom I’ve had the inestimable pleasure to meet on these cyberlinks have brightened my life over the last twelve months, and to each and every one of you, let me say, I love you like family. A huge, sparkly, Twitter-y, Blog-gy, FaceBook-y, universe of pals, buddies, mates, chums, pick your own words, but I think you get my drift. Among these, no one is more special to me than my Guest Blogger today, the amazingly supportive, Odessa G Tomes. She is an outstanding writer of things and stories of the spirit world, but her feet are firmly planted on terra firm, and she IS possessed…possessed of more humanity than most people I’ve ever met, unstintingly giving her blog space and other social media channels in serving other authors and their efforts…I am privileged to have her sprinkle some of her magic and humour in the following blog.. LUV YA, OG!! (Clicks on where she has underlined words and phrases will cleverly lead you into other parts of her world…enjoy ..)
Dear Seumas, thank you for the opportunity to cut up and have fun!!
The sound of shoes tip tapping across the stage echoed from behind the closed curtains. The sound of a scuffle and then a tinkling laughter was heard as the audience watched the movement of someone trying to find the opening in the heavy velvet that seemed to have hung for years waiting for just this moment.
“Bless, help me find the opening!”
OG prayed out loud then grinned as she found access to the stage and approached the podium. She was smiling and blushing, obviously embarrassed, causing laughter to twitter through all those that had come to see her presentation. ‘It was now or never’, she thought as she froze looking into the eyes of those waiting to see what she would do next. Pulling herself together, she cleared her throat knowing her nervousness was plain for all to see. Seeing Seumas standing off to the side she focused on his silly grin. He was proud he had finally pulled her out of her closely protected shell with the intentions of letting the world see the person he had come to know. She cleared her throat again and took the plunge, looking him straight in the eye. His smile gave her courage and she began to speak in a clear yet soft southern drawl.
“Thank you, Seumas for inviting me here today. It is a great honor and privilege to be standing here on the very same spot where week after week you endear so many with your wit and charm. We met almost a year ago by sheer happenstance and I must say, you have honestly become one of my most cherished treasures. I know being my friend is not an easy task but without your support and friendship, I can only imagine what trouble I could have found. I want to say thank you again because every time my steps have faltered you have been the gentleman who held out his hand to help steady my progress in the right direction.”
OG dabs at her eyes and it is clear they are real tears she isn’t ashamed to shed. Then she grins with mischief and sticks out her tongue in a dainty move of defiance and continues…..
“As I watch your books soar through this swirl of self-publishing toward their pinnacle, I have to say: I TOLD YOU SO! You are a bright light shining for all the world to see.”
She turns raising her arm directing the audience to look toward the screen being lowered behind her. She steps away as the lights dim, to stand and watch as her little skit begins to scroll across the screen.
“Grace Under Pressure”
When everyone else in the world seems to rush through their time here on earth missing the good things, a southern woman takes her time to enjoy every moment as if it were her last, for life has proven there are no guarantees. Genteel women of the south, know the true meaning of the word poise. We face life’s hardest issues with a stoic composure knowing that if our tribulation does not kill us, we will be stronger and therefore blessed again.
We are schooled from birth, by our families, to care for others with love and affection all the while being a rock foundation supporting our homes by creating a sanctuary of hospitality for family, friends and even the odd road- weary life traveler that appears at our door. We offer a hug, an ear, a shoulder and always a repast coupled with a glass of sweet iced tea, for nothing can quite soothe a soul like sharing iced tea on a porch swing, as we rock away the worries of those we care for.
Our gardens are tended to, just like our children, to make their mark here on this earth as proof we have existed and have given life our all. We harvest the bounty from these endeavors cherishing every flower and seed produced, making sure they are preserved and added to our heritage. We love, we nurture, we heal and, when necessary, we sort things for others when they become lost in their way along the road of life.
We believe, even while surrounded by doubt. We know private humors are the best medicine for what ails a soul. ‘Laugh, live and love’ is our life long pledge usually learned at the knee of our wisdom filled grandmothers. There are more blessings given in a southern home on any given day than discounts given on seniors’ day at the local grocery. We will bless you while offering a humble apology for having to correct you with a logical truth, for our honesty though tempered, can be perceived as brash at times. Never fear, we have been schooled to offer a correction with a velvet glove. No matter how harsh the truth may seem, we feel compelled to convey it to a culprit we find in need of mending their ways. We can coax you to appreciate our honesty as you walk away after accepting our apology for having to give you our opinion or solution. God bless, you just have to love a southern woman for her gentle honesties delivered with her humble apology.
Temper every indignant thing a southern woman says with the following…. humor, logic, love and sarcasm. Sprinkle it, with bodacious yet elegant ‘snarks’, then mask the delivery with a bejeweled, positive view and the translation will come to you.
Oh, I should also give you this little extra tidbit to help you understand: most southern women are born with the disarm/endear gene; both go hand in hand like the salty sweetness of honey roasted pecans . I believe that falls under the category of strategies, for we know the power of a silent look yet we also know the strength of our words and the feelings they can invoke.
A storm’s fury broke the tall oak tree.
A strong storm snapped the tall oak tree in half.
said with ‘southernality’ ….
A storm raged through the branches of the ancient oak causing its gnarled limbs to twist and contort until it was forced to bend too far making it surrender then relinquish its majestic stance as if it were a mere twig.
We are a paradox within ourselves for as gentle as our speech is to hear, never , I repeat never, doubt that 5’3” woman weighing in at 100 lbs soaking wet, when she threatens to have you tied to a tree in her front yard for your misbehavior. We believe in loyalty and keeping secrets, and yes, we do take them with us to our grave, so by setting an example we earn the staunchest of defenders.
Mine appeared at my door one stormy night when the power was out along with the phone lines…… all 6’5” and 350 lbs of him. The poor thing had done battle with an ancient oak felled by lightening and his only weapon had been his truck. I had greeted him at the door armed for I was not expecting a visitor. I tended his wounds and fed him simple fare, giving him a safe place to wait out the storm.
Take note: I can call my loyal friend, Tiny, at any time of the day or night to do my bidding or to protect me from harm. He thinks I do not know where the flowers left on my porch come from, but I do. They are from my loyal friend who once pledged, so long ago, to always be true.
Please, dear matron, try your best to remember this:
“Grace Under Pressure” says it all when facing what life can throw at you.
[OG giggles and looks up from her notebook she keeps hidden away from the matron under her pillow because the matron has no clue as to her fate]
“Seumas! Stop erasing my words from the wall!”
[OG jumps up and stomps her foot, placing her hand on her hip then holds out her other hand for the nubby pencil, almost wasted away, with the chewed end where Seumas has tried to expose more of the eraser]
“Seumas give me the pencil now.”
“But you will be getting us in trouble again! I don’t want to make the matron mad!”
“Stop that pouting! She demanded to know why I think like I do, so leave my words alone, Seumas! I own my crazy and you should, too!”
“I hear her coming! Get the lights!”
[Seumas whispers this loudly as he hits the mattress like a pro at deflecting the matron’s wrath and pulls his covers up snug]
“The matron won’t be able to see my words!”
[OG whispers back, clearly sure of her plan]
“I don’t want to wear the jacket again!”
[OG flips the light switch and calmly saunters over to her bunk and lies down on her side waiting for the matron with confidence twinkling from her eyes and whispers in reply]
“Don’t worry, I got this! I will get you out, just like before! Tiny is coming to visit tomorrow and he will tie her to the tree in the courtyard for me!”