Monthly Archives: July 2012

…Help, Doctor Phil, how do I cope with this …?

The butterflies in the stomach have started in earnest… nearly couldn’t keep my corn flakes down this morning. All of you parents out there will know the feeling…my little baby’s about to step out for the first time..alone.. into the big wide world out there…sniffle, sniffle.  The empty nest syndrome is beginning to kick in already. The birth of my brand new little book is due this coming week (or so). I’ve studied all the new book parent stuff… Bought it all the nice new marketing clothes, viz, Twitter, (the Mothercare of indies), Facebook (doting auntie ), and Goodreads (loving grannie )…The lists of new novel educational institutions have been mulled over…do we send him/her/it to reviewers first for primary tuition, then on to the dreaded agent/publisher higher education monasteries, where we lose him/her/it for YEARS, attached only by a series of postal orders and money transfers? Or do we finesse the path and have him/her/it exposed to the rigours of the refined boarding school system of other actual, real authors picking up my baby to help nurture it on its universal plod toward the best seller lists? Excuse me, while I demolish another box of paper tissues… I really MUST stop this silly weeping… what WILL people think of me? Oh, and NAMES for it. Toying with the modern fashionistas’ offspring tags spinning around derivations of Beiber, Brittney and Posh Becks was considered for less time than it takes for a Scotsman to donate to charities, before settling on a nice safe, solid, conservative name, VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK. If you bump into my baby out there ( it looks like me, resembling the south end of a north-facing yak), please be kind to it .. it’s a jungle out there…Oh, good, the senior nurse is bringing my sedative…(smuggled out of Safe Ward 241).Image


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