Tag Archives: writing

…when yeez are a Self-Publishing Author, yeez can’t say, ‘…it’s not my job!’… #TBSU…

…when yeez have a coupla million bucks in the bank account, the mortgage paid, and no bills outstanding anywhere, yeez can pretty much suit yerselves what yeez do with yer day… that status is still to arrive for this ol’ Jurassic on an as-yet-unspecified future date… for legions of we quill-scraping virtual candle-lit garret dwellers such financial independence awaits our next multi-gazillion sales masterpiece… meantime, there’s WURK to be done… the apprenticeship for a modern-day wannabe Steinbeck, Dickens or Rowling never hints at the range of skill-sets required to burgeon into a fully-fledged ‘indie’… no mention of the scribblers gift being just the start of the journey… the brilliance of plot-spinning, the genius of word-smithing, the control of myriad character development themes… all of these commendable attributes merely the beginning of the happy trudge… and like the abundance of skins peeling away from a giant onion, the various bits that ‘have-to-be-done-by-sumb’dy’ become apparent… and cause just as much tears to flow as peeling a real giant onion… proof-reading, copy editing, balance of narrative… who’da thunk they’d be important?… art work for cover pages, IBSNs to index yer labours, copyright certification to protect yer wee babies from Literary Piracy Captain Bluebeards… why wusn’t we told?… then the ‘shall-I-compare-thee-to-the-labours-of-Samson?’ nightmare of hunting down the invisible yeti-like Agent or Publisher to carry yer tome to an adoring readership… else going it solo via the Great God Amazon and its ePublishing cohorts… paralleled with doing hand-to-hand combat with a printing house yerself to produce some ‘never-mind-the-writing,-feel-the-paper’ copies… and, Lads and Lassies, that’s just the beginning… yeez are obliged to metamorphose variously into advertising moguls, speech-givers, presentation experts… and I’m not gonna even mention the SOSYAL NETWURKS… that’ll keep until yeez stop reeling from this post… when yeez are a Self-Publishing Author, yeez can’t say, ‘…it’s not my job!’… however, the quirk that motivates most of this great universal family of sriveners keeps us coming back for more… I’ve tried to encapsulate some of this in my latest offering, SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES… I hope it helps… see yeez later, LUV YEEZ




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…manna from Literary heaven… a glorious review from Author Martin Roy Hill for ‘SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES’… #TBSU…

…my very good Author mate, Martin Roy Hill has paid this ol’ Jurassic a great honour with this review of SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES… many thanks, that man… Martin’s excellent webpage is here, give him a follow… : http://www.martinroyhill.com



Seumas Gallacher is a man with a split personality. First he’s the author of a successful thriller series featuring hard-fighting former SAS operator Jack Calder. In a personality reversal, he also writes a humorous writing blog in the character of a rambling Scotsman with an almost indecipherable Scottish brogue. I’ve become a fan of both personalities. In Self-Publishing Steps to Successful Sales, Gallacher combines both personalities, producing a serious discussion on the benefits of social media to independent authors that is punctuated with a light wit.

Gallacher doesn’t get into the weeds about the writing life or writing style. His point here is that it’s not enough to just write a book, you’ve got to get it noticed by readers and, more importantly, readers who buy books. A former international banker now living in Abu Dhabi, Gallacher approaches book selling using the same elements he used as a businessman — a business plan, business, marketing, and promotional campaigns, and a budget.

Most importantly, Gallacher shows how to get your book in front of readers by using the tools afforded by Amazon’s KDP publishing platform, and Internet social media like Twitter, Facebook, websites, and blogs. Despite using these tools virtually every day for the past three years to promote my own books, I felt like a neophyte while reading Gallacher’s book.

Whether you’re a novice writer or a publishing pro, Self-Publishing Steps to Successful Sales should be in your library.

Link :




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…listen up, Mabel… I’m on colour radio this coming Saturday morning… #TBSU…

…completely shameless Medya Tart, me… I’m emb’dy’s for the scrape of an interviewer’s pen… column inches in yer local mag?.. this ol’ Jurassic’s yer huckleberry… television crew in the locality?… show me the way to the cameras… sound bite from the self-publishing scribbler?… yup, tick that box as well… comes now the next aural imposition on the listening-public-at-large… this Saturday morning Abu Dhabi Classic FM, will threaten the credibility of its franchise by letting me into their studio in Abu Dhabi… subject matter supposedly the ePublishing phenomenon… let’s see where that takes us… the charming Ms Gina Peach is tasked with pitching the questions… the whisper is she’ll have her finger on the Taser Gun to keep the conversation half-way sensible… I’ve been asked to choose a piece of Classical Music to intersperse my inanity on air… I’ve proposed Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries’, which is about as close as it gets to summarising the trip most of we quill-scrapers go through on the way to Literary Stardom… which got me to pond’ring… about which bits of music I frequently have as background when I’m writing… I’m not much into the wallpaper background stuff so dearly loved by the ‘please-hold-the-line-forever’ robot voices on company telephone extensions... my preferences are more for ‘mood’ pieces… the Muse seems to produce better for me with an eclectic range… ‘Amazing Grace with bagpipers and Andre Rieu’, anything by Judy Collins, the incomparable Andrea Bocelli, Freddy with his Bohemian Rhapsy-thing, Celtic ballads, Ray Charles, Willie ‘I’m Gonna Sing ‘Til I’m A Hundred’ Nelson, Harry Nilsson... and so it goes on… the colour radio stations usually give yeez a copy of the interview afterward (will yeez just listen to me!..‘usually’!!)… if it doesn’t break all the broadcasting ROOLS… yeez’ll prob’ly hear it on here in a day or so…

…if yeez are in the UAE and feel like listening around 10.15 am, please tune in on Abu Dhabi Classic FM

91.6 Abu Dhabi, 105.2 Al Ain, 87.9 Dubai

meantime, see yeez later… LUV YEEZ… here’s the Ride of the Valkyries for yeez to get in the mood…



Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…Mirror, Mirror on the wall… am I really here at all?… #TBSU…

…over the last wee while, I’ve noticed several Author ‘Facebookies’ complaining to the WURLD at large that, basically, nob’dy LUVS them… the sum’times paralysing constant checking of the Amazon Kindles Sales reports with sparse downloads leaves them utterly bereft… the eternal clamour for Facebook ‘likes’ leaves me bewildered, mainly coz I really don’t understand the need for Facebook ‘likes’… it’s even more apparent to me, despite my dearth of little grey cells, that far too many writers, newbies and established names, expect an avalanche of affirmation merely by throwing their masterpieces onto the internet… a-hem… IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!… IT DOESN’T WURK THAT WAY!... consider this, Lads and Lassies of Blog Land— at my last guesstimation there’s a trillion, squillion new titles being released on the ePublishing channels every fourteen and a half minutes… the sheer volume of timeline traffic on Facebook and the other SOSYAL NETWURKS reduces the odds of yer pleas to the readership universe to have a decko at yer WURK being heard… but, all is not as desperate as it may appear… this ol’ Jurassic’s been banging on for a while now about the efficacy of BUILDING THE PLATFORM... yeez have to develop yer NETWURKS’ relationships… every day, every week, every month… and then maintain and LUV the heck out of them… the measure of ‘success’ differs for each of us, but I still get that fabulous buzz when even one person downloads anything I’ve written, and multiply that buzz if they scribble a review for any of it… it’s called ‘affirmation’… and if we’re honest about it, it’s one of the primary reasons most of us quill-scrape in the first place… to be acknowledged… to know sum’body likes our stuff… but, here’s another wee tip… if Facebook is being unreasonable, tardy or reluctant to show emb’dy on there acknowledging yer greatness, just step over to yer wall mirror… and repeat after me… ‘ye’re a wonderful writer, I LUV yer WURK,‘ … that’ll fix it… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ… mean time, if all else fails, here’s another peek at my SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES:




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…my Man of Dignity for the Month… Hishammuddin Hussein, Acting Minister of Transport of Malaysia… #TBSU…

Transport mimister


…it would be a heartless creature indeed who felt no sympathy for the families of those aboard the MH 370… primary thoughts and prayers correctly belong to them right now… like many hundreds of millions around the globe, I’ve watched the cable television news coverage of the day to day search… unhappily, part of that coverage includes the daily press briefings with the sometimes inane questioning from the local and world’s assembled press… whatever theory each of us may harbour regarding the mystery of what has happened to the aircraft and its passengers and crew, the simple single fact remains… no-one knows for certain… it may well be, that in the fullness of time, discovery, examination and investigation of the circumstances of MH 370‘s disappearance will provide more human fodder for the ‘blame-hawks’… I witnessed similar, brutal, barbed and poisonous, press-conference interrogation in the aftermath of the tragic typhoon disaster which struck the small city of Tacloban in the Philippines… the eternal adage is that bad news sells well, and terrible news sells terribly well… 24/7 news channels and their repetitive talking heads’ hunger for drama often sits neatly alongside the ‘don’t let facts get in the way of a good story’ syndrome… finger-pointing, blame, and prejudgment is part and parcel of that… amidst all of this journalistic shrapnel, Acting Minister of Transport, Hishammuddin Hussein (pictured above) has served as a wonderful lightning rod, diffusing much of the vitriol and speculation… like myself, I suppose many of you may have been in similar situations as the spokesperson for a company, community, whatever, handling crises (although unlikely ever to have approached a scale such as this man has had to cope with)… it’s not easy, particularly if some among the questioners seem to have a sharpened negative agenda… Hishammuddin Hussein has exemplified all that is good in a man of obvious dignity… he cares deeply about the families, relatives and friends of those whose fate is as yet still unresolved… Mister Hussein, I’ve never met you, but I’d be honoured to have you as a friend… you are my Man of Dignity for the Month


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…there’s no mystery in how to run the WURLD properly… let the children do it … #TBSU…

…like a lot of yeez Lads and Lassies of Blog Land, I spend a lot of time merely observing folk… people-watching is a satisfying pastime… I do it at airport lounges, restaurants, gatherings… I’ve shared before I spend regular time in my writing den in the lobby of the Jumeirah at Etihad Towers Hotel here in Abu Dhabi (yeez can see the fancy picture at the sidebar here)… it’s one of the best people-watching locations ever… the flow of pedestrian traffic is constant, and because it’s a beautiful expansive lobby, half-carpeted and half-marbly-tiled…families often see their children turn it into a temporary playground… the confluence of different nationalities never ceases to amaze me, and yesterday I witnessed a microcosm of what I could only hope the WURLD would develop into… it began slowly… a clutch of infants, sitting initially with their Moms and Dads at separate parts of the huge lounge area, eventually did what most kids do… got bored just sitting and ‘behaving’… the age range prob’ly 3 to 5 years old, certainly no older… the exploratory coupla steps away from the parents developed into a wider range… and they discovered other, new, playmates… it didn’t take long for a game of ‘tag’ to ensue… running, giggling, laughing, and yes, a wee bit of high-pitched kids’ shrieking resulted… ultimately, of course. as each family made its departure, child by child, the group were reined in and they left the hotel to go their disparate ways… so what’s so interesting about that, Master Gallacher? yeez may ask… here’s the thing… I’d bet these children had never seen each other before yesterday afternoon… and, (this is not the beginning of a silly joke)… one was Asian, one was Black, one was White, and one was Arabic… go figure… so, here’s yer thought for today… what the heck is it that gets in the way from childhood to supposed mature adulthood that often f*cks up the WURLD at the levels of those who ‘run’ the planet for the rest of us?… give it to the children, I say… right, FILOSOFIE over for the day… get back to yer WURK, folks… move along… NUTHIN to see here… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ


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…746 and counting… Authors, here’s a reviewer/blogger to demand yer respect… Cathy McNally… #TBSU…

…commitment… paying it forward… paying it backward… paying it in any direction yeez can think of…a remarkable blogger by emb’dy’s measure… Lads and Lassies of Blog Land, I give yeez the redoubtable Cathy McNally… if I thought my hillock of To Be Read pile on Kindle was daunting, have a squint at this Lady’s… a veritable Literary Everest to get through… even her blog handle, 746 Books–Confessions of a Book Buying Addict (“www.746books.wordpress.com ‘)  kinda gives it away a bit…


Cathy is a ‘forty-something mother of twins from ‘Norn Irn’ (Northern Ireland to the rest of yeez)… she dubs herself a ‘fledgling blogger’, but she’s certainly won great respect from this ol’ Jurassic… go on over and support her blog, good people… here’s a recent sample of some of her review work… LUV IT!

Number 728 …..

‘Tampa’ by Alissa Nutting


I need to start by saying that I can handle an unlikeable lead character. Hell, I love an unlikeable lead character. Keith Talent, Patrick Bateman, Mrs Danvers are all great, memorable characters. Great protagonists have no need to be likeable; they just need to be compelling. A character can have a dubious moral code and still move the reader, as long as that code can be understood but not necessarily shared by the reader.

With that in mind, meet Celeste Price. She is a beautiful, wealthy, married, 26-year-old blonde who drives to her teaching job at a Florida high school in a red sports car. She’s also a self-obsessed, vain, amoral sociopath who tends to get what she wants. And what she wants? 14 year old boys.  She’s not your average paedophile then, but paedophile she is and this is 265 pages of intentional shock and salaciousness set inside the head of an obsessive sexual predator. Now I have just read The Seven Days of Peter Crumb where I was totally invested in and moved by the plight of a murdering, raping, mentally ill psychopath. Celeste has the potential to be that type of character, so it’s is a shame then that I just got so bloody bored of her.

Nutting attended the same Florida high school as Debra Lafave who, in 2004 gained notoriety for seducing one of her 14 year old students. Had I known that Lafave escaped a custodial sentence on the grounds that she was too attractive for jail, I may have given up on Tampa. I was really only reading to the end to see Celeste get her comeuppance. But Nutting stays pretty faithful to the Lafave plot.

As well as the Lafave case, Nutting also wants to draw comparisons to Nabokov’s Lolita. Like Humbert, Celeste chooses her victim with care and sleeps with the parent of her victim in order to remain int he illicit relationship. However, to compare the two any further than that would be like comparing Goodfellas to Mickey Blue Eyes on the grounds that they both contain gangsters.Nabokov’s writing is lyrical, Nutting’s is banal. There are no explicit sex scenes in Lolita, Tampa has little else.

When she’s not having sex with children, Celeste is thinking about it, masturbating about it or having unavoidable sex with adults and fantasising about it. This is a book that is trying really, really hard to shock, but any shock is very quickly dissipated by over indulgence and by about half way through I started skimming the dirty but dull sex scenes in the hope that there might be something approaching character development or plot around the corner. No such luck.

“I knew that if I was going to write this I was going to refuse to euphemise, I was not going to hide behind language,” says Nutting. Yet that is exactly what she does. Tampa hides behind the cheap pornographic set pieces – the taking of Jack’s virginity goes on for 10 PAGES – to mask the fact that the satire it is striving for is absent. There is a lack of any kind of exploration of why Celeste is the way she is. The same criticism can be levelled at American Psycho, but at least it contains humour and wit and targets the wider empty toxic environment that Patrick Bateman exemplifies. For the satire to be successful, Celeste has to be aware that she is trapped within her own egoism but she’s not. We are merely trapped there with her and it’s not a pleasant place to be. Given no broader moral point, the story is as empty, shallow and superficial as its protagonist and the reader is left with nothing to invest in.


Debra Lafave, the ‘inspiration’ for Celeste Price.

All other characters are, without exception, two-dimensional, the continuous descriptions of every type of sex imaginable are wearisome and some of the plotting is questionable. Does Celeste’s classroom have no windows? Is that kind of acrobatic sex possible in the back seat of a convertible sports car? How can her cop husband not realise he is being drugged on a regular basis? Why on earth call it Tampa if it doesn’t make any discernible difference to the plot?

Given the current climate of Operation Yewtree and the currency of the subject matter, it is clear that there is a point to be made about female sexual offenders and how society views them, but Tampa is not the book to do it.


Thanks for being there, Cathy… LUV IT!




Filed under Blether, Scribbling & Stuff

…fabulous Author and friend, Charity Parkerson allows me to invade her web page… #TBSU…

…Charity Parkerson is a titan(ess?)…a prolific Author with a multitude of successful titles to her name already… she honours this ol’ Jurassic with space on her web page today… please check out her blog,    charity-thesinners.bogspot.com    many thanks, m’Lady…

Friday, April 4, 2014

Self-Publishing Steps to Successful Sales with @seumasgallacher

I’m happy to have Seumas Gallacher with me today. Here’s what he has to say on his new book, Self-Publishing Steps to Successful Sales

…what’s a bumbling old f*rt like me doing in a business like this?…

…I won’t claim that I went to school with Methuselah, but I can remember back when televisions had no remote controls, and programme colour options were black and white, or white and black… the whole mystery of computers passed me by in an unintelligible blur… the advent of the social networks crept up and never entered my consciousness… until five years ago… the Amazon Apocalypse burst on the scene and invaded what little grey cells were left in my brain, along with the literary chemical agents provocateur, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Goodreads, Google+, et al… I escaped from a forty-something-years engagement as a banker (SSShhh!)/corporate trouble-shooter/turnaround ‘expert’… and became… a writer… note, not an aspiring writer… a writer… in the firm belief that you’re in 0% or 100% , with nothing permitted in between… I bought my first-ever laptop to start tapping out the first book… after spending a week figuring out how to switch it on, I was up and running… I chose crime thrillers as the genre poison of choice, and that has developed into the Jack Calder series, the cover pages look like this:

wall copy 2

Amazon links:
Savage Payback :              http://bookShow.me/B00G00GZEO
Vengeance Wears Black :  http://bookShow.me/B008H45KJC
The Violin Man’s Legacy:    http://bookShow.me/B005D7JNCQ

…so far the Quill-Scrapers Gods have smiled benignly on my efforts , with more than 75,000 sales/downloads to date… which brings me on neatly to the latest indulgence… I’ve become a bit of a darling of the Self-Publishing fraternity/sorority, sharing with other authors, newbies and established names, how it worked for me… with their persuasion, I’ve just launched on Kindle ‘Self-Publishing Steps To Successful Sales’


Amazon Link: http://bookShow.me/B00JBL6K80
…please feel free to come and share with me your own experiences in this wonderful scribblers merry-go-roundabout:

Blog                : seumasgallacher.com

Twitter             : @seumasgallacher

Facebook         : http://www.facebook.com/seumasgallacher

Email               : seumasgallacher@yahoo.com

Seumas Gallacher was born in Clydeside, Govan in Glasgow and spent his formative teens in the idyllic Scottish Hebridean island of Mull. His career as a banker took him from Scotland to London for ten years and thence on a further  twenty-five year global odyssey through Hong Kong, Singapore and the Philippines in Asia. Along the way he metamorphed into a corporate troubleshooter and problem solver. He came to the United Arab Emirates for a month in 2004 and has remained in Abu Dhabi ever since.
A late discoverer of the joys of writing, his first two novels, The Violin Man’s Legacy and Vengeance Wears Black have sold more than 70,000 copies. The third in the Jack Calder series, Savage Payback was launched in late 2013.
Seumas has become a strong proponent of the use of the social networking channels to reach and engage with a global readership market in the new age of self-publishing and eBooks. Seumas is a sought-after speaker and lecturer on how to develop productive online relationships. He was voted Blogger of the Year 2013.


Many thanks again, Charity, catch up soon, m’Lady …

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…and the Wrath of the Great God Amazon shall be visited upon yeez… be careful out there… #TBSU…

…I s’pose I should feel flattered… email correspondence today from the compliance brigade at Amazon flagged up a potential monstrous offence on the part of this ol’ Jurassic… it seems that my published collections of Blog Posts from this web page blog of mine, WELL I’LL BE BLOGGERED and BLOGGERED, have appeared elsewhere other than with the Amazon titles carrying the collections… another channel of access has been spotted contravening law/ROOL/regulation #such-and-such of the contract with them… I’m not allowed to be on Kindle Select Program while the material is in the public domain elsewhere… now I’ll give yeez a thousand guesses where that ‘other’ offending outlet is… yup, right here… it’s all on my very own web, well I wonder what relative of Einstein has twigged that a collection of my own blog posts might have appeared on my own web over the last several months???… yeez couldn’t make this stuff up if yeez tried… of course, on this occasion, the warning shot across my literary bow comes with no designated signatory… no-one (human) that I may interact with to sort this out in a matter of seconds… solution?… simply removing the culprits from the Kindle Select Program… result? Amazon and this old quill-scraper now have lost any potential earnings from these titles… we used to call this cutting yer own nose to spite yer own face… it may be, of course, that an ulterior motive lurks behind it all, the caricatures of my physiognomy may have proved too much of a contest for the pinups seen in other publications such as Hollywood Idols Magazines and the like… yes, that’s prob’ly it… I can’t imagine the Tom Cruises and Johnny Depps of the WURLD can compete with these… gaze on them one last time good people… those of yeez who already had the great foresight to download these already may find a fortune waiting for yeez in the (now) limited edition sales pages on Ebay…. see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!


feb4edit  2


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…Authors, yeez don’t need a camera to capture mem’ries… #TBSU…

…there have been many occasions in this ol’ Jurassic’s life when I felt I was marching to a different drum than other folks around me… and for that I have no regrets… fr’example I’ve never owned a camera… I’ve ‘fessed up on this blog many times before now about my Triple-A level ineptitude with computery gadgets, laptops and such… things that need ‘clicking’ and ‘switching on and off’ of stuff don’t gel too well with whatever side of my brain is supposed to handle that… another is I’ve never ever had a driving licence… never wanted one, never missed not having one… too much fidgety ‘mechanical’ coordination required in my ‘umble opinion… I’ve lasted this far without these attributes of advanced computer knowledge-ing, driving skills-ing and camera-ing… and it adds to some people’s opinion that I’m basically just ‘a bit soft in the head’… so be it… then I can get into discussion with photo-takers and ask, ‘the last time yeez took a snap of people in a particular setting, what do yeez remember about the place? …what were yer people doing?… were the kids laughing, having fun?… and most importantly, did yeez join in that fun?’... y’see, often folk will show me things like pictures from family gatherings, or holiday trips, or school graduations… and yet are unable to tell me what was really going on at the the time they were taken… too busy getting the light and shade right… or the grouping of mug shots aligned, tallest at the back, wee smouts in the front, sort of stuff… babies-growing-up pictures… black-and-white or fancy coloured images in frames seldom capture the pleasure of the moment… ask any author(ess) worth his/her salt, and they’ll tell yeez, the best writing comes from the mem’ries of things past… the awareness of the present… and the visions of the yet-to-come… quill-scrapers don’t produce from paper photographs… sure, there are excellent photographers who prove the exceptions to the rule, but yeez don’t have thousands of photographers of great fame to reel off yer tongue… great writers yeez can remember in bucket loads… and as for mobile phone ‘selfies’… hardly take the place of great biographies… no, for me… the Nikon order can stay on the back burner for a few decades longer… just sayin’… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ


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