…Latin was not a primary foreign lingo on my school curriculum back in Dockside Govan in Glasgow… but the acquisition of the banner headline phrase in the first half above has come in handy on several occasions… couple it with a self-belief, Mabel, and ye’re off and running… very few writers and authors have NOT felt the poisoned arrows of bad reviews and snide commentary on their work… I’m not sure if the angst EVER gets completely taken away, but the knack of ‘rising above it’ CAN be developed… learning to differentiate the gratuitous barbs from the well-intended critique is not easy… but it does come if ye keep an open mind… strangely, I’ve discovered that doing reviews of other authors’ books helps me to build more awareness of what should be properly pointed out, and to discard the garbage of the near-Trolls… understanding, too, that lots of reviewers have never written a book themselves is key for me… even a modest amount of confidence in yer own scribbling abilities will assuage much of the stuff from the Negative Nellies… remember also that an opinion from even the most renowned expert is simply that ...an opinion... sure, as humans, we would prob’ly prefer tons of the rosy-coloured variety… take ‘em all on board… throw away the chaff and continue to do what ye do best… write… and as Caesar Augustus once said, ‘nil illegitimus carborundum…’ … see yeez later at the cunning linguists class…
Tag Archives: SAVAGE PAYBACK
… the most appalling affliction for this ol’ Jurassic is unstructured time… ‘the Devil makes use of idle hands and minds’, and all that … several posts I’ve read lately have danced around the ‘how do you organise your day’ theme… as if we quill-scrapers are all rigidly tied to exact minute-by-minute handling of our days… it may be for some, but I know not too many of that ilk… that said, there is efficacy in, at least generally, having a rhythm to fill the unforgiving minute, etc… I’m not propounding martinetesque routine … just p’raps a level or three down from that… y’see, ever since I was a wee lad about a thousand years ago, there’ve been perpetual targets… infant and primary school grades to make… secondary education standards to achieve … in business, management-by-bluudy-objectives ruled… and then came the Great Escape… hardly Steve McQueen stuff… but extricating from the clutches of the global financial industry and into the realm of Writerdom saw a whole new horizon appear… now I can do whatever I darn well feel like…right?… not so fast, Moriarty!… happily, as it turns out, early realisation set in that writing and all of its attendant foibles is a BUSINESS … and past knowledge has taught me that the better, more successful BUSINESSES have proper budgets, planning, and…here we go again, Mabel… structure... the SOSYAL NETWURKIN mantle casts its umbra across every piece of it… publishing, printing, marketing, distribution, agents, readers, reviews, public appearances, signings, newspaper and magazine puff pieces, book fairs, panel participation, writing seminars…. and that’s just the start… still wanna be an author?.. yes, of course ye do… BUT, ye’d be well advised to embrace all of the foregoing… and LUV IT!… ask yerself , ‘what have ye done today to advance yer BUSINESS of being a writer?’... and then DO things that help yer BUSINESS plan move forward… remember, ‘if ye don’t know where ye’re going, ye’re there already... ‘, right, enough of that stern stuff, it’s been a while since I stirred yeez up with my mate, Andre Rieu and the Massed Pipes and Drums doing ‘Amazing Grace’... click here before Matron gets here with that bluudy syringe…
Blog Scratchers Corner
Blogs To Follow
… it’s the dilemma facing most of the quill-scraper brigade… making the switch from the candle-lit-garret-scribbling-creature to the gregarious-public-relations-persona… BUILDING THE PLATFORM to receive the masterpieces entails time and effort, and FOCUS… FOCUS on getting yer name out there… FOCUS on developing several arenas to showcase yer talent… it’s been said by far smarter folks than I, “…the writing’s the comparatively easy part… getting it out there, is where the slog is…” … it involves personal hands-on from the author… even if yer lucky enough to win the Literary Lottery and get yerself an agent and a publisher, ye still have to put in the hard yards… and let’s face it, NOBODY should be better equipped to promote YOU than yerself… so, let’s back track a tad here… first things first… write something at least halfway decent… great publicity alone may sell a book for ye, ONCE, but only once, after that forget it… confidence is next… believe in yer wee book-baby, make sure it’s cleaned and scrubbed and polished up (edited) as well as ye can make it … after that, find as many channels to tell the Universe about it… this is where the metamorphosis is most crucial… subsume the retiring pen-person in lieu of a rhino-skinned Public Barker… there are those who may well remember a boxer called Cassius Clay (later to become Muhammed Ali), who modestly proclaimed himself, THE GREATEST,… and do ye know what?.. he actually WAS the greatest… now I’m not suggesting ye go around belting people on the nose… but ye get the idea… get the wrappers off, and like Cinderella, if ye’re going to the ball , ye put on yer best frock… let them know just how GOOD ye are .. they’ll LUV yer writing… believe me, yer good enough… go for it!… now I’m tired with all that shouting, and I’ve alerted Matron with that bluudy syringe… see yeez later…
Blog Scratchers Corner
Blogs To Follow
… there are some, an elite handful, who live a life untrammelled by the vicissitudes of grammatical structure… they prob’ly get a syntax transfusion as newly-borns, and frequent booster injections of rules of correct linguistic expression… for others, this ol’ Jurassic included, it seems that the grammar lessons coincided too often with the days we were home doing our hair or fixing our nails… none of that matters a jot really, UNTIL we pick up the writing virus… and our work sneaks into the public market place… the double-edged sword syndrome quickly appears… Aunties and Uncles (God bless ‘em) race to tell us how wonderful is our prose… friends reveal a whole new concept of sycophancy… ye start wondering when Lee Child’ll call asking ye for advice… THEN, oh THEN, over that dark horizon ride the 4,000,000 Horsemen of the Literary Apocalypse… they go by several names… the GRAMMAR POLICE the most recognisable… the attacks are none-too-subtle… the laser-scanning eyes pick out the tsunami of first-words-in-the-sentence-gerunds ye’ve used… the capital-punishment-offence of splitting the infinitive… the flood of ‘weasel words’ and ‘expression overloads’… the abundance of adverbs… ‘lazy writing’ they snigger… and ‘it’s alright for Sir Winston Churchill to end a sentence with a preposition, but until YOU have won a World War, just follow the ROOLS, punk’... so, what’s a poor wee quill-scraper to do?… wait!… the cavalry is at hand… some splendid folks have created several software applications (that’s a computer-y technical term, Mabel)… ye can download and have it analyse yer manuscript BEFORE the WURD WARRIORS get their hands on it… AutoCrit is the one I use to help eradicate my scribbling follies… and when yer ready for the MANUSCRIPT MANGLING MOB, throw in the word, IRREGARDLESS... then stand back and watch all Hell break loose… it’s a laugh! … see yeez later…
… I haven’t pondered much over the years about my concentration levels… or lack of them… at infant school, there generally always seemed to be more interesting activity to be observed outside the classroom window than at the front of the room where the teacher stood… in adult life, attending business seminars produced the ability to have an-out-of-brain experience… wandering effortlessly from paying attention to speakers to admiring wallpaper patterns… ye’ve never done that yerself?… aye, right… hardly surprising then, when so-called Writers Block sets in periodically… let’s be polite and refer to it as ‘temporary fascination with alternative topics’… the subject has flitted across a few blog posts I’ve read recently… musings as to what causes it, how long it lasts, how to make it disappear,… ye know the deal… p’raps I haven’t been long enough at this quill-scraper activity, but so far this ol’ Jurassic hasn’t yet been afflicted by that writing blankness of mind… however, I’ve been careful to take notes on the advice freely dispensed in the aforementioned sufferers’ posts… the range of antidotes is spectacular… ‘eating tons of chocolate’ figures high on the list.. (does cocoa bean contain a ‘genius’ DNA molecule?)… going for walks of lengths varying from ‘to the end of the garden and back’ all the way to ‘running a marathon, preferably in the rain’… my favourite is putting on a Lord Justin Beiber album and turning the sound down to zero … in essence, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, Lads and Lassies of the Blog Land… my ‘spot-the-squirrel-syndrome’ breaker is simple… I switch writing from the novel, to blogging, back to the novel… the key is to keep producing... never mind the quality , feel the WURD COUNT… ye can always edit later … and I have my not-so-secret weapon, here she comes now… Matron with that bluudy syringe… I’ll be counting squirrels for a few hours now … see yeez later …
Blog Scratchers Corner
Blogs To Follow
Share around and enjoy :)
.. ‘into every silver lining a cloud will creep’, aver the Negative Nellies… I much prefer to be on the other bus with the ‘here comes the sun, pretty darling’ crew… I mentioned recently the emotional roller coaster ride that takes over when ye get immersed properly in this quill-scraping caper… well, it’s at it again, folks… I’m too old in the tooth to worry about ‘don’t mention stuff in case ye put a hex on it’... so I’m delighted to tell yeez about another ‘first’ this week… I’ve shared before about the initial sheaf of agents’ query letters I banged off a couple of years ago… precisely 40, matched with precisely 40 rejection slips... this time, with a lot of literary water under the writer’s bridge, I applied a tad more focus… selective agents in London… zoned in on my genre (don’t ye LUV the sound of that word, ‘JONRR’...)… sweated blood in producing a 500-word synopsis… (oh, alright, it was only 498 words, but what the heck..)… whipped on the first three chapters… explained my efforts in BUILDING THE PLATFORM …(very important apparently… no, strike that… very, very, very important…)… the 60,000+ downloads on Amazon Kindle to date (kinda helps, I feel…)… and pressed the magical SEND button… the web page instructions for Submissions said to anticipate up to eight weeks for any responses … is there any crueller stunt to pull on an author, I wonder?… however, within the first two weeks, three replies in the ‘you have a message’ box… and, ye’ve guessed it…‘sorry, like yer work, but not for us, thanks…‘ …ye tell yerself., yeah, I was expecting that, it doesn’t really hurt… right?… like hell!… it hurts!… but the joy of the ol’ roller-coaster kicks in again… three days ago, an email pinged in from an eminent global agency in London, which I SHALL keep nameless for the present (there’s still some superstitions I wanna keep, Mabel)… would I mind letting them have the rest of the manuscript?… mind? MIND? BLUUDY MIND???… it was ‘see-attached-email-ed’ in nano-seconds… oh, and could they possibly have a three-week exclusivity?… oh, alright then, if ye must… whether it comes to sumthin’ or not.. it’s a whole lotta steps further than we’ve been before… and it feels nice... oops, here comes Matron with that bluudy syringe to keep the feeling going a bit longer … see yeez later …
… it has long been a feature of acknowledgment of special achievement in military parlance… ‘Mentioned in Despatches’… that highly honourable accolade supposedly emanated from the British involvement in its War in India…(ye can see all this stuff on the Internet, Mabel…)… apparently it DOES NOT include heckling at a Lord Justin Beiber concert… nor wearing the colours of the opposing team in the home fans’ area of a football stadium (these are more generally found in the obituaries column…)… our own little modern-day contribution to this idiom is THE BLOG SCRATCHERS UNION... the hashtag is #TBSU... many of yeez know this already, but settle down at the back, there… we’re trying to let the ‘others’ know as well… plainly, it simply goes under the banner of ‘you scratch my blog, and I’ll scratch your blog’... at the tail of most of my own blog posts ye’ll see a wee list of ‘Blogs To Follow’... during the course of my daily SOSYAL NETWURKIN activities, these crop up from all over the place… nice folks who’ve mentioned me in their tweets or Facebook shares.... most Twitter accounts also have a line on the profile incorporating the blog address… easy to pick that up… then… just LIST ‘EM, as ye’ll see at the bottom of this post… then Tweet the listees so they can see it… remember to ADD YER OWN BLOG ADDRESS so ye get some pick-up mileage too… let’s help each other grow on here … LUV YEEZ... cheers :
The Blog Scratchers Corner
Blogs To Follow
Cheers. :):) pass these around and enjoy …:)
…giggle-fest!… fearless Author pal, Kevin Swarbrick let me loose in his Guest Post slot today… #TBSU…
… my pal, Author Kevin Swarbrick has done me proud in this interview.. it was FUN! …
@KevinSwarbrick ‘Deliciously Scandulous blog Tour’ Interviewing the awesome author, Seumas Gallacher.
Nice Bio for a 97 year old lol, I can see the fun has started alredy… Thank you for the brief introduction, Seumas, I won’t even ask if you are wearing any, just as long as you let your mind hang out on this interview then we’re all safe… Wait a minute doesn’t a man have two minds!! Use your top one please Seumas, and I hope by doing so, you get to make that million dollars from being a guest on my blogspot. Its nice to know you for spot talent! ’Giggles’ let’s see how you can answer these questions and also thanks again for being here Its my pleasure to be here.
I would like you to make a short story up using no more than 500 words, containing every one of these 14 key words; Tube, Swing, Cube, Dog Poo, Blood, Window, Dad, Car, Sex, Limp, Job, Grass, Nite, DM!
I seem to have discovered the ability to shut out the external noise. Besides, I have a personal thing about there only being two kinds of day… Good Days and Better Days. It’s difficult for Negative Nellies to get to me.
I can relate to that, I have only just started learning over the years how to shake off that negative. If people can’t be happy for you, then they’re not meant to be a part of you. I’m youngish and I am not 97 ‘giggles’, I still have a lot of learning to do, but that is one thing I have learned, is to shake off negativity, it’s the best way to move forward. Speaking of forward lets move on…
If you had a chance to run any country and make to make a difference, what countrywould that be and why?
I’d love to be the Wizard Gandalf with the Magic Wand to transform the lives of the general populace in the Philippines. The country is blessed with the most joyful, laughing, singing, dancing, good-natured folks imaginable, but counterpointed with natural and man-made disasters on a regular scale. They deserve better fortune.
I can relate to that, but if you had a magic wand you wouldn’t need to be on my blog spot trying to make a million dollars. I’ll be borrowing that wand and having a pint with you… Don’t forget who your friends are
What would you say the worse thing a reader has ever said to you, and what was your reaction?
The earliest negative review I received was from some guy who gave THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY two stars out of five. The dagger-through-the-heart feeling was palpable. I then checked the only other review this guy had done. It was on John Grisham. He gave him one star out of five! From that time forward, I try to treat the bulk of reviews with a huge barrel of salt.
I thought we had already discussed negative energy, I’m just glad you have moved on from that now. I know when I received one 2 star review, I felt the same as you, but then reality kicks in, ‘what does it matter’ you’re going to get people that like your work and then you’re going to get people that it doesn’t appeal to, same old saying, ‘you can’t please them all.’
I would like you to vision yourself walking down a busy high street with a partner or a friend, and suddenly there was a noise that came from your their bottom and the public turned around looking at you, what would your reaction be and why?
I’d laugh my head off. I’m squarely in Billy Connolly’s court with this stuff. Bodily functions are normal, and the surprise is what makes us giggle. Farting should be franchised, I say.
‘Giggles’, I just had a vision then, of you and your friends in that room next to Billy Connolly standing around drinking whisky with all the kilts lifting up with gushes of wind coming from your backsides, a bit like that film… what’s it called again?… it’s an old classic… ‘Blazing Saddles’ that’s the one, you know where they’re all sat round a camp fire eating beans, I think you know the rest,. Take that vision and I think it could be another great comedy stretch depending on how it’s done of course
Use only two words that would describe you?
The first word certainly sums you up and I can see where the positive comes into play, I just hope you go easy on me after this interview goes live
8, Have you ever been…
A, The owner of a lonely heart
B. The owner of a broken heart
C. None of the above?
If the answer is C, please can you tell the reader how you have done it, I can see the reader would being interested to know that one, I know I am.
A and B, several times over.
Sorry to hear that, Seumas. I know how those hearts can hurt! This is the third interview and they have all been the owner of a broken heart, but not several times, mind you! My answer to that would be 5 times so far, but I’ve not reached several times just yet, who know’s what tomorrow brings!
It’s time for a little fun, I would like you to do the rhyme ‘Humpty Dumpty’. Using your own words and without holding back.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King’s horses, and all the Kings men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast.
… And then amen! I meant a little like this ‘ Kev’s Style’
When you are writing, do you ever think, ‘Erm me and my partner did that once, that has to go into the story?
Only once? Hardly. You’ve got to practice some stuff a lot to write about it with authority.
If you could be a Musical instrument, which one would you be and why?
Violin. It’s an instrument that can evoke the entire range of human emotions. (And some of them are worth a lot of money, so I’d also change my name to ‘Seumas Stradivarius’.)
Seumas Stadivarius, now that’s a great name I don’t think I could be any Musical instrument that has strings, people have played with my strings for far too long, but I am glad they have now or I wouldn’t be the person I am today
I will toast to that
Do you ever remember a part in your life that made a huge impact on you as a person. If so what was it and why?
Loads of them. Growing up as a teenager, working in the Scottish Hebrides after leaving home at 15. Six years there, among great characters and the most friendly, generous people I’ve ever known has left a legacy with me.
Who inspired you to write or was it always a dream to be an author?
Great interview with a great guest. Thank you Seumas for being such a great sport and taking your time out to take part of this blog tour
We would both like to thank all the readers for all their support. We both hope you have enjoyed this interview. Until next week when I have another great guest lined up for you! Right, that is me out of here now… Enjoy your weekend, I have a cheeky pint to attend to before it goes warm. Cheers everyone !!
… I can p’raps understand how the sound of the Glasgow accent can push strangers back a little defensively when they first hear it… we Lads and Lassies from Dockland Govan can ‘load‘ our voices better than any well-equipped machine gun… BUT, that’s in the spoken word… therefore I’m still struggling a tad to figure out how I’ve managed to rattle the cages of my as-yet-to-be READING friends in Brazil and Spain… ye’ll forgive me if I make the assumption that somewhere along the line I’ve upset these two excellent bastions of the literary reading world… ye see, each time the three-month cycle of 5-day Kindle Free Promos come along, the downloads come flooding in from the Amazon links in the UK, USA, Canada, France, Italy and even Japan…almost every Amazon. somewhere-on-the-planet.com connection EXCEPT that pair of holdouts… it MAY be something to do with their fixation on wiping everybody else off the floor in soccer tournaments, leaving no time to read… OR, a quirk of the Iberian connection …. Brazil speaks a Portuguese-based lingo… whatever it is, my quest for WORLD READER DOMINATION will remain unrequited until I crack these librarial fortresses… and Matron’s hovering with that bluudy syringe, so I’ll be quick here… today, my allegedly ‘funny’, ‘hilarious’, ‘witty’, ‘not-to-be-missed’ (yes, Mabel, I pay people to say stuff like this )… THE BLOGGER’S GUIDE TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is FREE on Amazon Kindle for the ensuing 5 days ….
… grab a FREE copy here (and tell yer pals… saves ye having to buy them Christmas presents) :