…may whatever God you have, be with you, Paul Gascoigne… and thank you, Harry Redknapp…

gazza
..a wee serious post…I’ll do this once, and once only… like many others who LUV the great game of football, I’m more than saddened to see the continued mental and physical turmoil that Paul Gascoigne is suffering… but more than that, I feel intensely for the guy inside fighting all that hurt and pain… only those who have been there and suffered this dreadful illness, alcoholism, can even remotely understand what he’s battling…. I note with disdain the uneducated snipers and gutter press who batter the headlines with pejorative insults against the man… they have no idea… I’m also uplifted with a news snippet where I note QPR’s Manager, Harry Redknapp, has offered to let Gazza train some of his youth academy, and will even pick him up at 5.45 every morning to go to London, and drive him back home afterwards each day…
harry
…apart from the professional medical help he obviously still needs, what Harry is offering is equally important… an opportunity for Gazza to regain some of his human dignity… to let his spirit rebuild by being usefully employed, applying some of the God-given talents he possesses… may whatever God he might have, look after an ex-player who has given so much pleasure to others earlier in his life… and thank you, Harry Redknapp, for restoring a bit of my own faith in human kindliness… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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…reading the book before seeing the movie…

…I reckon most movie scriptwriters will tell yeez it’s difficult to capture on screen exactly an Author’s masterpiece… making films is a craft in and of itself… and all yeez good Lads and Lassies of Blog Land appreciate that sculpting a novel has its own myriad nuances, particularly in the use of language… almost by accident, I read first the book before watching my all-time favourite cinema trilogy, ‘The Godfather’ series…

Godfather

…I’ve watched the movies too many times to count, but I marvel at how well the film reflects much of Mario Puzo’s monumental mafia saga… even so, the ‘backfill’ that I have from reading the novel first, gave me tons of unspoken insights to the on-screen behaviour of the various characters… having become conscious of that over the years, I rarely watch a lauded, adapted-from-novel, film version without first buying the book… and what depth and added enjoyment I’ve derived from doing that… ‘The Grapes of Wrath’, and ‘East of Eden’ from the pen of the maestro, John Steinbeck are only partially captured in the admittedly excellent movie versions…

Grapes

 

 

eden

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…when all the hullabaloo was in full cry before the release of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ series, I purchased Master Tolkien’s output first…

lord of the Rings

…similarly, prior to that wee Lassie Rowling’s offerings getting to the flicker-theatres, I devoured all of the ‘Harry Potter’ stuff…

harry potter

…and much the better the films appeared from knowing the characters so well before watching them… I also recall, ‘way back, the enormous pleasure from how well the director had traced Richard Llewellyn’s  ‘How Green Was My Valley’

valley

…another outstanding tale, Umberto Eco’s  glorious ‘The Name of the Rose’ starring ol’ Lishhpy-Shhcottish-Burr himshhelf, Shhhhean Connery, is brilliantly processed on screen…

name of the rose

…so, next time any studio P.R. propaganda machine starts drumming up the ‘spin’ for a blockbuster movie, go get the book first… yeez’ll get better value that way… I’m sure yeez’ll think of many more of these that yeez liked yourselves… tell us about them…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

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…no, Mabel, I’m NOT a self-publishing guru… but sum’things I do, actually WURK… #TBSU…

…some of yeez out there are really, really nice people… about six months ago, I threw some ideas together about how this ol’ Jurassic handles bits of the mysteries of SOSYAL NETWURKIN and published it on the Great God Amazon Kindle as SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES… now yeez are asking me to share how I managed to ‘divine’ all that stuff… the bare, stripped-down honesty is that I did not ‘divine’ anything… I merely collated some of the things that I found helped me as a neophyte wannabe independent author… in reaction to yer requests, here’s the Foreword to the wee tome… I hope it gives yeez an inkling and more…

                                                                   

Foreword to SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES

 

I started writing my first crime thriller novel in early 2009. I finished the first draft in a matter of a few months. Then, I thought, all I have to do is to send it off to a few Literary Agents in London. One of them would be sure to throw lots of money at me for the right to carry my masterpiece into the public readership market.

In fact I sent off forty Query Letters, submitting the novel for consideration. In the beautiful balance that is the writing universe, I received back precisely forty Rejection Slips. It took a while later for me to understand from fellow authors, that such rejection was the standard, the par for the course. Indeed, many famous names in the libraries had initially racked up several times that number of rebuffs for their work.

Around the same time someone suggested I put the thing onto Amazon Kindle. I looked blank and explained that I had never heard of Kindle. You see, then in my early sixties, the whole computer business and social networking fields were distant concepts to me. All my commercial life, my offices had been run by a succession of personal assistants who did ‘that stuff’ for me. I was faced with the option of forgetting the whole authorship idea or adapting rapidly to the realities of modern self-publishing.

The result has been astonishing. Sales and downloads of my books (currently three crime thrillers, with a fourth as Work In Progress, and three collections of Blog Posts) have surpassed 75,000 copies.

It has been a wonderful and gratifying trip. I will not pretend to be an expert on the social networks nor on the ePublishing business. I simply want to show what worked for me.

SELF-PUBLISHING STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL SALES is intended to share with others the various steps I took on that journey, and to encourage independent writers never ever to give up on their dreams.

Seumas Gallacher

Abu Dhabi

2014

… yeez can cop a wee look here :

http://amzn.to/1lt6bcv

cover2

…see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE/RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

 

 

 

 

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…seems like I still have the capacity to get into trouble… I’m glad to say… #TBSU…

‘act yer age’ is a term I just can’t accept… my Comedic God, Billy Connolly waxes lyrical about his own rebellion against the idea… and to quote from the Big Yin himself, recently I turned 60 years old… even more recently I turned 65… and now, well… the kind of bother that magnetised itself toward me through infancy and early youth never resulted in gaol time… back then, justice and punishment went hand in hand with proximity to parents… and more precisely was doled out liberally from the hands of parents… sum’times, merely the nearest parent, whether he or she was yer own or not… mostly we kids got into ‘scrapes’, got up to harmless ‘mischief’… seldom requiring more than the presence of the local street policeman, whom everybody in the district knew by name, and for we children, more known by nickname…

bobby

 

 

…ours was ‘Ginger Malky’, coz he had red hair… behold and lo, if yeez ever got a ticking off from Ginger Malky and yer Da got to hear about it…yeez would cop another censure, generally accompanied by a few belts on the backside… so with all that history of discipline, yeez might think that sumb’dy like me would be incapable of incurring the wrath of authority of any sort these days… well, yeez would be sorely mistaken, as today’s events have proved… an innocent enuff saunter to the local shopping mall… a casual stroll through the mall’s wide spaces, and right up to my feet arrives a football… directed there, or more correctly, mis-directed there from a wee boy, hardly older than four years old… I demonstrated the soccer skills that made me a legend in my own changing room about a hundred years ago by passing it deftly back toward this budding Cristiano Ronaldo… he promptly whacked it with a beaut of a left foot, straight back to me… I passed it back again, and this happened a coupla times…

fitba

…before yeez could say ‘World Cup’, a posse of kids were streaming around me, kicking that ball all over the place, but generally in my direction… I was having a blast… a blast, I tell yeez… about half a dozen tiny, shrieking, squealing Wayne-Rooney-wannabees laughing and having fun in the middle of the shopping mall… and then it happened… the long arm of the law… or more like the short brain of the law, in the guise of a Security Guard intervened and picked the ball up… he handed it to me (it wasn’t even my ball!), and said ball games weren’t allowed and that really I should know better… it took all of my considerable constraint not to belt the guy in the teeth… but, of course he was right… b*gger that !… I handed the offending ball back to my Lilliputian-sized new buddies and told them the referee had given me the proverbial red card… I don’t know who was more disappointed— the kids or me… at least I left feeling good about knowing that it seems like I still have the capacity to get into trouble… see yeez at Wembley Stadium later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE/RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…it’s all about ‘comfort’… how yeez ‘wear’ stuff…and not just clothing… #TBSU…

…during the course of my career it was necessary to do a lot of business travel… mostly abroad… pastures foreign… sum’times, it was a bit like, it’s Tuesday, it must be soup, it must be Belgium… it’s Thursday, it must be sirloin steak, it must be Geneva… and so on… one country pretty much looks like the next when yeez are on the move… an airport, a hotel, a bed, a taxi or limo to another airport, etc, etc… by the time this ol’ Jurassic had done his gazillion air miles of flying hours (days/weeks/months/years), it had boiled down to ‘comfort’… what I call ‘wearing’ a place… a hotel fr’example, some of yeez who follow this blog will know I have a wee writing corner in the lobby of the Jumeirah Etihad Towers Hotel in Abu Dhabi, and very grand it is too… but it’s not about the swank of the place… it’s about the ‘comfort’ I feel about sitting in it… I do the same when I’m in London… there’s a little coffee shop around the corner from where I normally billet… nothing posh, but I ‘wear’ the place well… the same thing goes for being on the SOSYAL NETWURKIN circuit… there’s stacks of garbage on there, which if I chose to, I could let it make me rattled… but I don’t… instead, I elect to find my ‘comfort’ with the people whose posts I enjoy… ‘comfort’ again… I ‘wear’ their virtual friendship like a pair of ‘falling-to-bits-but-can’t-possibly-be-thrown-away-yet’ slippers…

slip

…for we quill-scrapers, I think it can also boil down to our scribbling patterns… some are morning creatives, others peddle their wares better in the dusk, and some nutters belt at it 24/7… ‘comfort’ in the WURK routines, that’s called… when I’m in the company of actual people (yeez know they do exist outside of the internet, don’t yeez?), I switch to ‘auto-comfort’ mode… some folks I just simply walk away from… others I keep close… ‘comfort’ in friendships… so what are yeez all ‘wearing’ this week?… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE/RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…is Master Gallacher really that nuts?… or, how I nurture part of my SOSYAL NETWURK… #TBSU…

crazy

…I’ve been asked by a few SOSYAL NETWURK pals to share again what I’m up to with my loopy ‘Awards’ system… now, be warned, this should not be read alone at home, and certainly not without a safety net… it has long been surmised that I may have a few bats loose in my cerebral belfry… the following exposition may prove that to be the case… be that as it may, they say there’s often much method in one’s madness… and here’s mine… ever since clambering aboard the whirligig that constitutes the self-publishing universe a few years ago, I decided to embrace 100% the tenet that an author, independent scribbler or otherwise, is well-advised to be immersed in the SOSYAL NETWURKS… it’s a major part of being present and accounted for in our industry… I indulge several aspects of that, including Twitter, Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Tumbler, Stumbleupon, and others, including this here Blog… on Twitter I found the mechanism of the ‘Friday Follows (FFs)’ a bit too ‘same-y’ week after week, and it seemed to my eyes merely a ‘get-numbers’ game for the sake of it… I wanted to try to differentiate a wee bit in terms of the quality of people I followed and who followed me back… hence, in lieu of the FFs, I begun listing the good folks who deigned to mention my name or tweet responses to me as human beings, not just ‘critical-mass-look-how-many-followers-I’ve-got,-Mama’ … this was done originally, and still is done daily, longhand on sheets I then type up as my list of ‘Awardees’… the list has grown like Popsi… I do cull it from time to time, when it’s apparent that some folks have chosen to drop away, and that’s their choice, NUTHIN wrong with that…now here’s the thing… my followers on Twitter currently total around 6,800… but the ’special’ list has over 1,000 names on it right now… I used to invent the ‘Awards’ every week, but with a thousand names, all typed in as bunched tweets of say, 9 names per bunch, yeez can see a less regular publishing is best… and even then I spread the re-typing over a few days, not all in one sitting as I did in the beginning… it’s time-consuming, but one of the most satisfactory processes I undertake on such a regular basis…why?… coz it gets me anywhere from 45%-65% replies on Twitter from these wunnerful Lads and Lassies of Blog Land every time I do a new ‘Award’… that’s 450 to 650 correspondent chums (and the respondees mix differs each time) to keep linked in with personally on a regular basis… I wouldn’t give it up for quids… I value every last name on the list … the current ‘Award’ is the ‘Thank U 4 U Award’… people seem to like them… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ape

 

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE/RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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…a blast from the nasal past… bless yeez!… #TBSU…

sneezy

…gird yerselves for possibly the most useless bits of trivia yeez’ll see anywhere on the Web today… I’ve never claimed to practise the pertinent-est pieces of prominent prime purveyance of wisdom… but were yeez aware that the human sneeze can reach wind speeds of 160 kilometres per hour?… that’s 100 miles per hour in old money… and did yeez also know that when yeez sneeze, yer heart instantaneously stops and restarts?… well, there’s a coupla scraps of information to kickstart yer ‘well-who’da-thunk-that?’ questions… there’s more… how often, if at all, has it occurred to yeez when sumb’dy has a noisy nasal blast and the response comes ‘Bless Yeez!’ what the provenance of that blessing?… it dates back to the mid 1600’s in Merrie England, which at the time was anything but Merrie… the Black Plague, more commonly know as the Bubonic Plague, was rampant, and people were falling like flies (more of that in a minute)…

nose

…a major symptom of the Plague was the sneeze… and there being no widespread cure for the illness, death usually resulted in very short order, hence, the ‘Bless Yeez!’ bit… think also on this… the children’s nursery rhyme, ‘ring-a-ring of roses, a pocketful of posies’, dating back to that era reflects the same thing, ‘a-tishoo! a-tishoo! we all fall down!’… dangerous stuff, these kids ditties… makes yeez ponder on just how powerful yer skull can be… a container capable of delivering hurricane-force nostril-canyon-directed gusts stronger than yer average gale-force level winds… I’m thinking of having my proboscis patented… ‘The-Master-Gallacher-Gale-Gatherer’… got a nice wee breeze about it don’t yeez think?… yeez’ll have to excuse me now– I’m off for a few practice blows… where’s that heart-starter, Mabel?… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!

ALL MY BLOG POSTS ARE FREE TO SHARE/RE-BLOG SHOULD YOU SO WISH—BE MY GUEST!

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